


You’ve Got Stars, They’re In Your Eyes

by Lena_halo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Bottom Harry, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Louis Tomlinson Calls Harry Styles Pet Names, Louis Tomlinson Loves Harry Styles, Louis and Harry - Freeform, M/M, Prince Harry - Freeform, Top Louis, i don’t know how to tag, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis calls harry princess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:41:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lena_halo/pseuds/Lena_halo
Summary: “Please stay?” Harry’s voice was raspy and not more then a whisper but Louis understood and nodded.“Sure Princess just try to sleep okay? I’m not going anywhere.”Or Harry needs to be saved and Louis does just that
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello 
> 
> This is my first fanfic I wrote so please be nice? 
> 
> I’m a sucker for Larry fluff so I try to put as much in here as I can. 
> 
> Also English is not my first language so if there are mistakes in spelling or anything I’m sorry. 
> 
> Tell me what you think because I haven’t wrote more for this fanfic and I don’t really know where this will lead but I’d like to keep writing but for that I need to know if it is even worth it. You know what I mean? 
> 
> So have fun with the first chapter and tell me if you want more.

C H A P T E R 1

Harry inhaled the cold air. Happy to be away from the room full of drunk college students that grinded on one another.

“You okay there kid?” Harry jolted and turned around to the voice behind him. The guy in front of him looked good with his sharp cheekbones and beautiful hair that was Styles in a quiff and those blue eyes which shouldn’t even be this blue considered that the only light source right now was the moon. He nodded while his cheek turned red, his eyes on the ground.

“Well, if you say so curly.” The man shrugged. He seemed to be older than Harry and he wasn’t sure if he was a college student or not.

“Do you have a lighter by chance? Gave mine to a friend and the idiot hasn’t returned since.” He chuckled lightly.  
Harry noticed that his voice was higher than his but still husky. He decided that he liked the voice of the stranger.  
The younger one searched through his pockets even though he knew he wouldn’t find any lighters because he didn’t smoke.

“Uhm no, sorry.” He gave an apologetic look to the smaller guy whose name he still didn’t know.

“Nah it’s fine. You don’t look like a smoker anyway. Names Louis by the way.” Louis shrugged with his shoulders.

“‘M Harry.“ Harry said quietly.

„So Harry, what has someone like you do in a Place like this?“ Harry was confused, what did he mean with someone like him? Did he find him ugly? To tall? Rude? But he didn’t do anything to make Louis mad.  
He ducked his had trying to make himself look smaller then he actually is because Harry was tall and he hated it. He wanted to be small and delicate but instead he was tall and lanky.  
The green eyed boy started to bite his lip and fiddle anxiously with his fingers. Where was Niall? Niall promised to not leave Harry’s side. Louis noticed Harry’s change in behaviour and asked himself what he did to upset the boy in front of him.

“Did I say something wrong mate?” He asked curiously but Harry couldn’t talk. He was way too deep in his self-hatred thoughts right now to give a proper answer. He stared in Louis’ eyes only seeing blueblueblue. He tried to sort his thoughts to give Louis a proper answer and not stand there like the idiot he is but before he could there were screams and people running.  
He got pushed to the wall behind him and got scared because of all the screaming and loud noises.

He hated loud things. He pressed himself against the wall and tried to cover his ears while he slowly slides down the wall. He still felt Louis presence next to him but his eyes started to get blurry. Where was Niall when you needed him?

“Lou, the cops were called and gonna be here any second.” Louis looked to zayn who grabbed his arm to pull him along but he stepped back which made Zayn stop in his movement and turn impatiently to his best friend.

“It’s fine mate. I’ll be right after just need to do something first. I’ll give you a call!”  
Zayn gave Louis an eye roll but turned around quickly to make his way out of the party.

Louis crouched down to Harry who didn’t even seem to notice him. He carefully wrapped his hands around Harry’s wrists and pulled them away from his ears. He didn’t even understood why he hasn’t run away yet but here he was because something about Harry made Louis want to wrap him in a blanket and hide him from the world.  
Harry flinched away from Louis’ touch.

“Hey mate, Harry? You okay there? You’re with me?” Harry slowly looked up to Louis who tried to stay calm. Harry was in the verge of crying and Louis didn’t understand anything except that he needed to be gentle with Harry.

“I’m gonna need you to stand up and leave the party with me okay?” Harry shook his head no trying to pull away from the grip around his wrist. Louis catched up with Harry’s train of thoughts.

“Oh god no kiddo not like that! I’m not some pervert who’s gonna rape you! Calm down! Look at me kid.” Harry slowly looked up again. Green meeting blue.

“Some bloke called the cops and they’re gonna be here any minute. I don’t know about you but I rather sleep in my bed then at a police station. Been there done that and trust me it’s not nice or comfortable at all. We have to go out of here okay?” Louis stared in Harry’s eyes. Hoping that he would catch up.  
He slowly nodded and Louis let out a relieved sigh.

“Good lad, now come.” He helped Harry get to his feet and pulled him behind him, not letting go of his hand which is for the better because he stumbles over his feet more then Louis could count. They weren’t the last ones to get out. Some didn’t even bother to drunk or high to even notice that the party’s over.

Louis helped Harry climb over a fence which- shouldn’t Harry be helping Louis because he is the taller one?  
Louis jumped over it after Harry and pulled him with him down which made Harry let out a surprised squeak. Shortly after that the shine of a flashlight came through the fence and Harry’s grip around Louis got tighter.

The older of the two put a finger to his lips. They stayed still for a while not moving a single muscle. The only sound that can be Heard- where the breathing and the occasional voices of the cops clearing the house and picking up all the drunk kids to drive them home.

At one point Louis tucked Harry along with him and they walked a bit until they reached the street a few houses away from the one where the party was. There were still a few police cars in front of the house.

Louis pulled his phone out of his pocket, seeing that he had a message from Zayn.

_I hope you’re not in jail and if so then call someone else because I’m fucking tired. I’m at Liams_

_Fuck you z but I’m fine_

He quickly typed his response before he turned to the Curly lad who still hasn’t said a word and just looked at Louis with puppy eyes.

“Everything okay?” He didn’t really know what to do with him now.  
Harry nodded, then shook his head and then nodded again before shrugging his shoulders. He let out a frustrated sigh and looked to the ground. He felt exhausted and he was mad at Niall for leaving him alone. No take that back. For even taking him to that stupid party.

Louis rubbed his hand across his forehead. And stared at Harry for a while hoping he would take action but that didn’t happen.  
He took a deep breath and let it slowly out.

“Okay love where do you live? Is it close? I don’t have a car but I don’t mind walking you there.” He kind of did mind. He was tired and just wanted the comfort of his bed but his conscience would kill him if he would leave Harry alone.

It took a few seconds before Harry answered.  
“Well I came here with a friend and we drove with his car for about 10 minutes and I live probably 15 minutes away from him by car so pretty far away I guess? So you don’t have to walk me I can go alone. _I_ _can_.” The last one sounded more like he need to convince himself which made Louis roll his eyes.

“Sure you can but that wouldn’t sit right with me. I live just a few blocks from here with my mate Zayn you can come sleep there and I give you a lift to sour apartment tomorrow. How does that sound?”

Harry nervously bit his lip. Tying to make out weather he can trust the men in front of him or not. But since he actually didn’t want to walk all the way to his flat in the dark not that he’s scared of the dark. _He’s not_.  
And Louis helped him before by pulling him out of his panic attack which- how? He decided to take the offer.

“Sounds good? If- If I don’t bother obviously.” Louis chuckled.

“Sure kiddo come.”

“‘M not a kid though.” He said softly not wanting to seem rude.

“Oi how old are you?”

“19 soon to be 20 though.” Louis let out a laugh which sounded beautiful actually.

“See you’re a kid. Think I can even see some baby fat there!” Louis chuckled and poked Harry in his rips which made him flinch away.  
Harry gulped and clears his throat. Seemingly uncomfortable.

“Hey I was just joking you look good kid, okay?” Louis noticed. He always seems to noticed and Harry couldn’t figure out if that was going or not. He liked to just keep things hidden. But with Louis it was like that men could read him like a book.

“So how old are you then?”

“I’m 22 soon to be 23.” Louis mocked Harry which made him roll his eyes.

“You’re not that old you have no right to call me a kid. Thought you would at least be 25 or something.” And since when did Harry talk so much?

“Oi now that’s rude. But look at you with your big green eyes and pouty mouth. You just look younger then you are love.” Harry’s cheeks turned red and he looked to the ground.

They walked in silence for a bit until Louis stopped in front of a green door and took a key out of his pocket.

“Zayns at his boyfriends flat so we are all alone.” Louis winked at Harry while opening the door which makes Harry stiffen.

“Shit, I forgot to not make jokes like that with you. I’m sorry.” Harry didn’t say anything just followed Louis up the stairs.

“So welcome to my flat. It’s probably all messy and I’m sorry just didn’t expect visitors today.” Louis flipped the light switch on and took of his shoes while Harry looked around the flat.

It was pretty simple everything in black and White and not much decoration. He saw two maybe three pictures one of them from Louis and a raven haired men. He figured that would be Zayn.

He followed Louis to the living room. Pizza cartons where lying on the floor and Louis quickly picked them up and put them in the kitchen.

“So... I’m gonna take the couch so you can take my bed.”

“No I can take the couch. You already let me sleep here i don’t want to be a burden.”

“It’s fine. I changed the cheats this morning so the princess can have her beauty sleep.” He smiled at Harry who furrowed his brows.

“‘M also not a princess.”

“Sure you are. Beautiful long and curly hair, long legs, red lips you know big green eyes. It’s a compliment, take it.” Harry didn’t think that his cheeks could get redder then they are now and he couldn’t hide the smile that creeped up his mouth.

Louis gave Harry a T-shirt and some joggers to sleep in. The joggers were a bit small on Harry but he didn’t say anything he was just glad that he didn’t have to sleep in his skinny jeans.

“Night Princess when something is just wake me up okay?” Harry nodded and waved before closing the door behind him and crawling under the covers. He wasn’t really tired. His mind was still processing everything from the evening and now he remembered that Niall left him alone which made him mad. He looked at his phone but didn’t have any new messages so he didn’t bother writing him one either.

Eventually he fell asleep.

*

“Harry wake up. Hey, Princess, hey.” Harry jolted up. Looking anxiously around until he found Louis eyes. Tears where streaming down his face and he didn’t understand anything I’m this moment.

“Hey Princess. You’re okay.” Louis shushed him softly. Harry frantically shook his head and Louis pulled him at one point in his arms.

“Just a bad dream Princess. Everything’s okay.” He slowly rocked them back and forth and Harry quietly sobbed and sniffled and Louis asked himself why he felt so attached to the boy he only knew for a few hours.

They stayed like that until Harry’s sobs subsided and he was just sniffling his hands grabbing Louis T-shirt.  
Louis spoke quiet reassuring words to Harry. Trying to calm him down and make him feel better.

“You’re good princess.” Louis felt how Harry started to get tired again so he slowly started to pull away from the younger boy which made him whimper.

“You’re fine Princess. Go back to sleep.”

“Please stay?” Harry’s voice was raspy and not more then a whisper but Louis understood and nodded.

“Sure Princess just try to sleep okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Harry let go of Louis to lay down in the middle of the bed and Louis layes down next to him. They stayed like that for a while until Harry slowly lays his head on Louis chest and cuddles up to him. His hand grabbed his T-shirt again and after a while Louis hand found his way in Harry’s curls slowly caressing them.

They both woke up Harry laying on Louis and Louis holding him. They awkwardly shuffled away from each other Harry’s face red from embarrassment and Louis just overall confused. They didn’t really talk. Harry put his clothes on again while Louis made tea and toast because he couldn’t cook and even if he could he had nothing there.

When Harry came out of the bathroom Now fully clothed Louis handed him his cup and toast and Harry smiled thankful.

If there is one thing that Louis hated then it was awkward silence. He was a very loud person he knew that and there’s no need to deny that but he knew that Harry wasn’t loud. That Harry was quiet and soft and needed his surroundings to be quiet and soft. And Louis didn’t want to make the younger lad feel uncomfortable or scared. But he also didn’t know what to say so awkward silence it is.

Harry nibbled on his toast not really feeling hungry but also not wanting to seem rude because Louis made him breakfast even though he didn’t have to. Because Louis had every right to just tell Harry to leave after the night and the way Harry acted. He was ashamed. He basically begged a stranger to sleep with him after he cried like a baby.

„You don’t have to eat it you know. I know it tastes like shit but I don’t have anything else. I need to go shopping first.“ Harry winced at the sudden sound out of nowhere.

„No it’s fine. Really. 'M just not really hungry y‘know? But thanks.“ Louis frowned because he was really hungry but he just took Harry’s plate and cleaned the table.

*

„Thanks Lou, for everything really.“ Louis was parked informer of Harry’s flat which really wasn’t that far away from his but apparently Harry had a really bad sense of direction. Louis also wanted to ask a million questions like what was the dream about that he woke up from crying and why he just completely shuts down by any sign of loud noise or if he has a boyfriend or if he likes dudes in general.

Which okay he knew this guy for maybe 12 hours but something about Harry just makes Louis want to know him.

„It’s fine kiddo. Couldn’t just leave you there like a lost puppy, now could I?“ Harry shrugged.

„You did more then you had to. I probably would be stuck at the police if it weren’t for you.“

“I like you Harry. You’re cute and seem like a genuine lad even though you’re practically still a child.” Louis laughed a little and was happy to see that Harry’s cheeks had a nice tone of red and he smiled.

“When I’m a child then you for sure are an old men. Like some granddad or something.”

“Oi cheeky now are we? Have some respect for older people.“ Harry’s cheeks turned redder as Louis teased him but he softly chuckled.

“You know...” Harry started slowly and Louis could tell that he was nervous. He turned his body towards Harry who fiddled with his hands. “Uhm... even though you’re basically a stranger I like you too. And I’m glad that I met you and not some other guy who would have probably just leave me there which would be fair. But you didn’t and what happened tonight.. uhm I’m sorry for waking you up I guess. I-I just thank you.”

Louis smiled fondly because how could he not. Harry was cute sure but he was also extremely good looking. But what bothered Louis was that Harry seemed to be insecure and so scared in many ways which he just shouldn’t. Harry deserves to be happy and Louis kind of wants to bring him this safety.

The urge to wrap him in a blanket and hide him was even bigger now.  
Harry looked nervous to Louis because he didn’t say anything.

“Could I maybe get your number? You know I think we would make great friends and I- when you need someone to talk, about anything really- just you know give me a call. I’ll listen. Whether it’s something completely random like i don’t know you saw your favourite flower or maybe not so random like... you know... another nightmare. I want to be there. Which I know sounds creepy but I think we just clicked? Does that make sense?”

Harry nodded his head.

“Yeah Lou, I’d like that but promise you tell me when ist too much? Because, it will be too much at some point. It’s always like that and if you tell me then I can stop.”  
Louis frowned.

“Now Princess who told you that you are too much so I can kindly punch them in their ugly face.”

“Just everyone I knew I guess. Even Niall who I guess is my best friend doesn’t want to know everything that goes on in my head. I’m pretty fucked up you know.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“No Lou, not like that. Not- not like me.” Harry laughed a little bit it sounded bitter and Louis didn’t like that one bit.

“I don’t care, okay? I’m gonna be there for you from now on. I promise!” Louis held his pinky up and Harry mustered it for a while.

“Don’t promise something you can’t keep Lou.”

“Well then I’m gonna promise it myself. To always be there for you.” Louis linked his pinky’s together and looked Harry in the eyes while doing so. He wanted him to believe. He wanted to trust him.

Harry typed his number in Louis Handy and waved before he stepped through the door leading to his flat.

Louis waited approximately 5 more minutes. Just staring at the door Harry just went through. He didn’t know if he expected Harry to come back or if he just forgot to drive but either way he swore himself to never hurt Harry no matter what.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis wanted to write Harry the same day. He really wanted. Problem is he didn’t know what to write.  
In his notes were probably 50 different ways to write the first message and after going through them again he crossed out 28 wich left him with 22 ways to write a message to the curly haired boy.  
He talked with Zayn about it over a joint that they both shared. He left the parts with Harry’s panic attack and him crying over a nightmare out and said that they just talked and somehow fell asleep.  
Zayn didn’t help at all is the thing. He just said to call the boy and ask him if he wanted to shag which no. And apart from Zayn he didn’t have anyone to discuss his love life if you can even call it that.

Because sure Harry was fit and looked like a model but Louis knew that at this moment Harry needed a friend and not a lover. And that was fine.

Three days passed and while Louis looses his mind over all the possible ways to write Harry, Harry tries not to have a mental breakdown over the fact that Louis still hasn’t texted or called. And even though he know better then to trust people and their promises he really thought that Louis might be different which thinking about it is dumb to even think like that.

So day four comes around and while Harry was out with Niall- no he still was mad at Niall but Niall always found his way and Harry wasn’t a person to say no- he received a text.

And while Harry’s heart starts to beat faster and his tummy feels weird he tries to not freak out. But on the other hand there is only one person that texts Harry and that person sits in front of him eating Harry’s food because he was full.

He picked up his phone and stared at the text messages. And he couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his mouth because it was from Louis.

_Hey Princess it’s Louis I thought you maybe wanted to grab a cuppa with me like tomorrow? So we can like get to know each other better_

Harry grinned because Louis texted him and he called him Princess and he wanted to meet him. Harry did find the nickname weird because he didn’t felt like a Princess at all. He was the complete opposite of a Princess so it didn’t really fit but when Louis calls him that it makes him feel all these things that he wishes to be but just isn’t. It makes him feel small and cute and delicate and he liked that. So even though it didn’t fit he liked it a lot.

_Hey Lou. Tomorrow sounds good just tell me the time and place and I’ll be there._

“Hey mate haven’t seen you smile like that in... well ages I guess. What’s gotten you all happy?” Harry looked up from his phone to his- well he didn’t know where he should categories Niall right now because he was still mad. Maybe the only Irish men he knows?  
So he looked up to the only Irish men that he know and furrows his brows.

_Okay great. I’m gonna pick you up at 2 pm._

“It’s nothing just an Instagram pictures of two cats.” See the thing is Harry used to tell Niall everything. Like really everything and anything and while Niall - just like Louis- promised that he would be there for Harry he wasn’t. So Harry eventually stopped talking with Niall about everything and anything. It didn’t matter anyway and he liked to have Louis for himself.

“Of course it is. Get yourself a boyfriend will ya? Can’t have you dying as a crazy cat lady who never had sex.” Harry winced at Nialls words but he didn’t seem to notice. The only Irish men that Harry knows just starts talking about some girl he had sex with last week and Harry stopped listening.

“Ah- shit! Sorry Niall I forgot that I have an appointment in an hour. I need to go. Sorry mate.” Harry stood up very abruptly and handed Niall a tenner. “That should cover my bill.”

He couldn’t sit there with Niall anymore. He was mad at Niall for so many things and even though he knows Harry’s entire back story he still manages to not think about it at all and throw around with sentences that he know hit home for Harry.

Harry doesn’t expect Niall to do everything right. How could he, with how fucked up he is. Keeping track of everything that might set Harry in a bad mood or remind him of something of his past is nearly impossible. That’s not what he expects from anyone. It’s also not that Harry thinks that the world rotates around him because it doesn’t. He knows that. But Niall can be so oblivious sometimes. And he can be self centred that he forgets about everything and everyone.

Niall doesn’t take Harry and his problems serious. There have been so many moments where Niall told Harry that he should stop overreacting and leave the past behind.

Harry walks home. Head ducked to his shoulders and eyes glued to the ground. He makes his way through the crowd of people. His hands are shaking as he puts the key in the lock to his flat and he has to do it at least three times before actually can turn the key around and open his flat.

He locks the door behind him and goes straight for his bathroom where he turns the shower on. He strips as fast as he can out of his clothes. Ignoring his imagine in the mirror not wanting to see himself like that.

He steps under the shower and turns it to the hottest level. It hurts but he just needs to be clean.

He takes one of his many bodyscrups and scooped a good amount out of it before he rubs it all over his body. His mind just focused on being _cleancleanclean_. He scrubs until it hurts and more and at some point he’s skin feels numb or maybe it’s just him. He steps out of the shower and wraps himself in a big fluffy towel. His skin is red and sensitive from all the scrubbing and he leaves the bathroom still not looking hat himself on the mirror.

He started crying at some point in the shower. He still does when he gets out of the shower. He puts clothes on that are way too big on him just to feel smaller and thinner and cuter and then he was still crying because he wasn’t small or thin or cute.

His hands searched for his phone and after finding it he starts staring at Louis contact. His thumb hanging over the call button. That’s what Louis wanted right? That Harry would call him when he needed to talk. And Harry wanted to talk but he didn’t really knew about what. That he just was in the shower for 45 minutes scrubbing himself like a madmen until his skin was raw and felt numb? No because he wants Louis in his life and something fucked up like that would scare him away.

He lets the phone fall to his side and stares at the ceiling. His mind wanders off to the next day. Creating scenarios of how his meeting with Louis would happen. When his mind just came up with things that would embarrass him he stopped it and started to watch a Friends rerun to try and get his mind off of things. Which maybe worked because he eventually fell asleep just to be woken up by some nightmares again. Not some it’s actually always the same fucking nightmare and even though you might think after having it for so long shouldn’t you be used to it, it just seems to be getting worse and worse with each night.

Harry picked his phone from his nightstand and opened the chat with Louis. He stared at the messages for a while and excitement rushed through his body.

_Why are u still up curly?_

He stared at the message. Happy to have a distraction from his nightmare and everything else on his mind right now. It’s 3 am right now and normally when he was awake at such an early time everyone else was still asleep.

_I could ask you the same_

Harry hesitated a second not sure if he should tell Louis why he wasn’t asleep.

_Couldn’t sleep I guess_

That was an okay answer, right?

_I give you that curly. Zayn has his boyfriend over and let’s just say the walls are pretty thin. But you’re okay?_

Harry’s cheeks turned red with the thoughts he had so he concentrated on the last question. Was he Okay? No, not really but would he tell Louis that? Probably not. Sure he said he would listen but he’s still some kind of stranger.

_I’m fine._

_I’m excited for tomorrow though_

Harry turned his tv back on and waited for an answer which came after a few minutes.

_Me too curly. Tell me about your day._

Harry told him about his day consisting of his classes in university and his meeting with Niall. He didn’t tell the fact that he left Niall early because he got mad or was still mad at him. They texted for a while until they both fell asleep with their phones still in their hands.

*

Harry changed his outfit at least three times and he still wasn’t happy. Louis would be at his flat in 15 minutes and he desperately tried to make his hair so that it doesn’t look like he hasn’t brushed it for 7 weeks. It was quite long by now and when he was at home he often wore it in a bun or in braids but there’s no chance he would even consider that outside. He knows how judgemental people can get and it’s no rarity that people tell him that he looks too girly.

He’s used to that by now. Well not really but he likes to think that he doesn’t care about others opinions even though he does. But he also doesn’t want to provoke the mean comments by wearing buns or anything that’s considered as girly.

He decided he would go for black skinny jeans because that kind of all he wore when he went outside and an oversized green jumper. He likes to believe that it compliments his eyes which it probably doesn’t but still.

He grabbed his phone and wallet and put on his boots before closing the door to his flat and going outside where he already saw Louis Leaning against his car.

“Well hello there Princess.” Louis smiled brightly and Harry may have just fallen in love because Louis was the sun.

“Hi Lou.” He said softly and gave a small wave with his hand. Louis wore also black jeans combined with a white hoodie and some trainers. Harry thought he looked comfy.

Louis like the gentleman he is (not really) held Harry the door open which made the younger boy flush his cheeks.

He was glad that Louis didn’t saw it due to him closing the door and walking around the car.

“So I thought we could maybe grab the drinks to go and then go to a small park thats near my flat? That way we can talk alone and apart from that is the weather to nice to not spend it outside.” Louis looked at Harry who just nodded.

“Sounds good.” Louis smiled at that. Happy that Harry gave him an answer with words because he liked Harry’s voice and Harry shouldn’t be afraid to speak his thoughts.

The radio was playing in the background and Harry was mesmerised by the fact that Louis drove with only just hand because he could never. Even though he had his license since he was 18 he still drove like a beginner. Both hands on the steering wheel and his car seat as far forward as his legs would allow it.

Louis stopped the car at a drive through and looked to Harry.

“What do you want Curly?” Louis looked over to Harry whose mind just went blank.

“Uhm...I- I don’t- You pick?” His voice went higher on the end wich he hated. That always happened when he was unsure or overwhelmed with something. Louis chuckled.

“Sure I can do that. Let’s see.” He checked the menu.

“How about a hot chocolate? You seem like a hot chocolate kinda guy.” Louis turned back to Harry who hummed approvingly.

Louis set their order and drove forward to pay.

“Don’t even think about it. I’ll pay the drinks.” Harry frowned, his wallet unopened in his hands.

“But-“

“No Harry. Let me pay. Besides I invited you right?”

“Next time I’ll pay.”

“Oh so you want to see me again?” The blue-eyed men teased.

“I mean- I thought that we- I don’t...” Louis interrupted Harry with his laugh wich confused Harry.

“God, you’re really fucking cute you know that?” Harry shook his head no, still confused why Louis just laughed at him.

“Well let me tell you, you are cute. Fucking adorable even. Of course we’ll see each other again. Can’t get rid of me that easy Princess. I told you I wanted to be your friend and that hasn’t changed.“

Harry’s heart felt like it would explode any second and he felt warm and his tummy had this weird feeling again.

„Thank you.“ Louis nodded and handed Harry his hot chocolate which he held between his hands trying to warm them up because they were always cold. Well Harry was always cold no matter the weather really. And now with autumn slowly coming around the sun wasn’t as strong anymore and Harry got even colder. Louis put his cup (he got Yorkshire tea because apparently that’s the only tea worth drinking- Louis‘ words) in the cup holder.

They drove for a few minutes before the car was parked and Louis led their way to a small Park which was pretty empty.

They started talking about random stuff and it was so easy. And even though Louis talked way more then Harry it was perfect. Because Harry loved to listen especially to Louis voice wich was just beautiful and Louis loved to talk and was happy when Harry gave a few comments to his story’s. He laughed at the right moments and when it was Harry’s turn to talk Louis listened attentive. For Harry it was easy to talk with Louis. He rarely felt comfortable around people and rather kept his thoughts to himself then telling them because he figured people just don’t care. But Louis looked like he cares.

Eventually they started talking about their families.

“I’ve got 6 siblings back in Doncaster. 5 girls and one brother. I’m the oldest though.”

“That’s a lot.” Louis nodded fondly smiling.

“Love them and me mum more then anything. You know growing up when it was just us I often got mad at her when I had to stay home and watch the girls. Everyone else was always out. Partying or just having fun, doing dumb stuff. Lads being lads y’know?” Harry hummed.

“Now looking back though I wouldn’t want it otherwise. I would often fight with my mum over it but now I understand it. I get that she didn’t have the money for a babysitter and I think me and my sisters wouldn’t be as close as we are if it wouldn’t be for all the times I watched them. And i gotta admit we had a lot of fun and did some dumb shit together.“ Louis laughed a little and Harry could tell, damn it he could even feel the love Louis had for his siblings and it made him happy.

„Why did you leave? When you’re mom needed you and you were happy then why  
leaving.“ Louis looked up to Harry.

„Well just had to live my own life for a bit I guess. My mum’s found herself a boyfriend who took care of her and he has a soft spot for the girls so that’s good. Helped me to move to London. I know that they are safe and sound and I visit them pretty regularly. Can’t really go long without them. Lottie and Fizzy are a bit older so they sometimes come here and stay with me. Besides there aren’t really good university’s around Donny.“

„Do you think you’re going to move back when you finished uni?“

„Hell no. I love donny. Really do but the people there all have sticks up their asses.“ Harry laughed at that because that was something he did understand.

„What about you Princess? You’re not from London right?“

„No 'm not. I grew up in Cheshire in Holmes chapel. Pretty small town but I liked it. But moving here, to London was probably the best decision I made in my life. My sister Gemma, she’s older then me stayed in Holmes chapel. Got herself a boyfriend and a house. Living a picture perfect life and my mom and my stepdad also still live there. But I haven’t visited them for over a year. My mom sometimes calls to check up on me but that’s pretty much it. I have kind of bad connections to that town so going back there isn’t really an option. “

„When did you move to London then?“

„When I was 17. Shortly before I turned 18.“

Louis had 1000 questions burning on his tongue. He wanted to know why he left Holmes Chapel exactly. What these bad connections are and why he hasn’t had contact to his family. For Louis, Family was everything. He noticed how Harry tried to make himself look smaller again. His eyes looking glossy.

“And what about that Niall guy? How did you meet him?” Louis hoped that he could distract Harry from his thoughts with the change of topic. As far as Louis knew, Niall was Harry’s best friend so that should be a good memory right?

Harry shrugged his shoulders.  
“At university I guess. We have some classes together and after coming to late the only seat that was free was next to me. He talked my ear off the first day. Couldn’t stopped talking and he didn’t care if you listened or not. He just kept on talking. I think he kind of just claimed me as his friend because I listened. I guess Niall was my first real friend so I told him everything you know? Well you don’t but I told him basically my whole life story and he listened and he actually promised the same thing as you. He told me he would be there for me and I believed him. I wanted to believe him because I felt so lonely that it was nice to have someone right? Well he eventually grew tired of me. I mean sure we’re still friends but it’s not the same anymore. I can tell when someone just hangs with me because he feels like it’s their duty. And I feel like that’s what I am to Niall. Also I’m still mad at him for Saturday. He promised he wouldn’t leave me alone when I accompany him to that party. But guess what?” Harry laughed. It was that bitter laugh that Louis didn’t like to hear. Because it sounded like Harry blamed himself.

“You know that Niall bloke sounds like a complete asshole.” Harry laughed.

“Yeah probably. But he’s all I have.”

“Well curly. First of all even though he’s an idiot I can’t be completely mad at him because I probably wouldn’t have met you if he would have been glued to you the whole time and second of all now you have me and I wouldn’t leave you alone. Hell I wouldn’t even make you go to those stupid parties when I know how uncomfortable you are. Like I don’t know you for a long time but I can tell that you rather stay away from large crowds right?”

“Yeah it’s just-“

“You don’t have to explain yourself. That’s not what I want. When you’re ready to talk about whatever really I’ll be here to listen. But I want you to be ready and not feel forced or feel the need to defend or explain yourself. And until that happens I’ll just try to make you feel as safe and happy as I can.”

Harry smiled thankfully. He’d like to just trust Louis blindly. To believe everything he’s saying. But he knows better and he doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself. He knows better then to blindly trust people he just met. He knows better then to trust people in total.

After that they just walked for a while. The air was cold and fresh and even though Harry was a little bit cold he was glad to be outside.

On the side of the path that they walked along grew flowers and the leaves of the trees slowly began to turn from green to reds, oranges and yellows.

Harry sipped his hot chocolate and Louis his tea. The both of them feeling content.

“I like flowers y’know?” Harry stopped and looked at the flowers. Louis doing the same.

“Always have.”

Louis leaned down and picked a flower. He came back up and stuck it in Harry’s hair.

“Well they fit you Princess. Making you look like a fairy or something. It’s cute.”

Harry shook his head.

“What curly you don’t believe me?” Louis played hurt.

“No it’s just you alway call me these names and barely call me Harry ‘m not used to it I guess.”

“Well what do other people call you?”

“I don’t know Harry or H. Sometimes Hazza but not often. Mostly just Harry.”

“That’s boring though. You deserve to be called cute names. But if you want me to stop just say the word.”

“No. Don’t stop, please. I- I like it. A lot.”

Harry blushed while admitting that.

“Well then love, I’m not going to stop.”

And yeah, he could live with that.

*

Louis noticed that Harry was basically freezing his ass off so he took him back to his car where he put the heater on.

Louis started driving and got quickly hot but kept quite because of the boy next to him shivering.

“Should’ve packed a jacket or something.”

“Yeah I would’ve if I knew we would be spending our day outside.”

“Sorry. I should’ve tell you but it was more of a last minute decision.”

“It’s fine Lou. I liked it. I wasn’t outside for this long in a while. I needed that I guess.”

They kept a light conversation until Louis parked in front of his flat which made Harry furrow his brows in confusion.  
He figured that Louis just didn’t want to drive him home which was finde because he already picked him up.

“I figured we could maybe watch a movie and order food? If you’re okay with it of course. If not I can always drive you home.”

A movie sounded nice. He didn’t want the day to end just now. He was enjoying Louis’ company too much for that.

“I’d like that actually if it’s okay with you?”

“Wouldn’t have ask you if it wouldn’t be now would I?” Louis unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door. Harry imitating his movements.

“I guess not?”

“You guessed right Princess.” Louis smiled and opened the door for them.

“On the couch are blankets. Make yourself feel at home and I’ll make us tea.” Unlike last time, Louis flat was now somewhat cleaned and Harry followed Louis suggestions, wrapping himself in the coziest blanket he could see.

“You’re okay with Chinese love?” Harry turned his head in Louis direction. The smaller man standing in the open kitchen and preparing the teas.

“Uhm sure. I don’t really care just pick what you want.”

“Okay so Chinese it is. Zayns not gonna be here until next week. He and his boyfriend drove away over the weekend.” Louis brought the tea to Harry who gladly took the cup to warm his hands.

“Food should be here soon. Now what do we watch?” Harry shrugged. He didn’t really care as longs as it wouldn’t be some Horror movie. He couldn’t stand those.

They (with they I mean Louis) decided to watch the first Ironman while they munched on their food. Louis paid again which led to a discussion between the two until Louis covered his ears and sang some random songs. Harry rolled his eyes because of Louis wanted to act like a child then so be it.

Louis was already finished while Harry has just eaten half of his. He started to play more with it then eating it.

“You’re done?” Louis noticed but he didn’t ask any questions. Harry nodded and smiled while Louis brought it in the kitchen.

Harry curled further into his blanket trying to make himself small again by pulling his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees.

At some point his eyes started drooping.

“You can sleep if you want. I know that you didn’t sleep much and the air from outside made you probably tired as well.”

“No it’s okay I’m awake.” Harry rubbed his eyes but couldn’t stop the yawn that came through.

Louis chuckled softly.

“Sure you are curly. Come here.” Louis tapped his lap and Harry was too tired to say no to that so he just obeyed and laid his head in Louis’ lap who immediately started to play with his curls.

“Feels good.” Harry mumbled and Louis hummed.

“Try to sleep Princess.”

“You’re staying?” Louis played with the curls in Harry’s nape which sended shivers down his spine. He was half asleep already. His words kind of slurring together.

“Not going anywhere, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> Write me your thoughts on the story in the comments and tell me if you have any suggestions. 
> 
> I hope you liked the chapter
> 
> xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys.  
> I have honestly no idea where this story is going but I hope you like it anyway. I already have knew ideas for other story’s. 
> 
> I’m not really happy with this chapter but I still wanted to post something today. 
> 
> So have fun reading it
> 
> Disclaimer 
> 
> ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND I PROBABLY MADE 1000000 MISTAKES

One week passed in which Harry’s life was packed with classes he needed to attend and studying for exams. He and Louis texted a lot as well, mostly at night when everyone else was sleeping. He didn’t knew why Louis was awake at such odd times but he didn’t question him because he was happy to have something distracting him from his thoughts.

University and all the assignments worn Harry more out then he liked to admit. He was constantly stressed and couldn’t wait and longer for the fall break.

Apart from the classes he had with Niall the two of them didn’t do anything and at lunch Harry would often be alone hiding in the library. He didn’t knew where Niall was exactly but he guessed that he was with the more popular guys of Harry’s university. Niall ignored Harry and even though Harry was the one who was mad it bothered him that Niall didn’t try anything don’t make up for the party.

To be fair though Harry didn’t mention that he was mad for what happened at that party. He just hoped that Niall would know what he did wrong. Harry wasn’t one to confront people.  
He knew that his behaviour was childish and dumb. He did. But he didn’t do anything to change it. At this point he wasn’t even sure if he still wanted whatever it was that he and Niall had.

Harry felt alone throughout this week and he wanted nothing more then to just relax which was just not possible with all that studying he had to do.

Louis on the other hand was almost stress free and spent his days with fast food and watching tv. Sure he went to university but except for reading plays he didn’t really have to do a lot.

*

Harry picked his phone up from the table after hearing it vibrating, signaling to him that he got a new message. He smiled when he saw that it was Louis texting him.

_Whatcha doing curly?_

_Nothing just studying, u?_

_Well, I was bored so I figured you probably haven’t eaten yet so why not get my favourite curly lad food and distract him from his homework._

Harry looked confused at the message Louis send him.

_What do you mean?_

_Open your door Princess._

Harry furrowed his brows in confusion still not getting what Louis was onto but he still stood up from his desk and walked to the front door of his flat.

He unlocked it and slowly opened it just to be met with clear blue eyes.

“Hello there Princess.” Harry blinked slowly not saying anything, just looking and Louis who was standing in front of him.

“What are you doing _here_?” He questioned blocking the door.

“Well I brought food and I missed you so here I am. Everything okay?” Louis held a plastic bag up and Harry figured it was Chinese. The smaller man tried to take a peak in Harry’s flat but he still blocked the view.

“Yeah, was just not prepared for visitors.”

“Oh that’s fine. I don’t care if it’s like untidy or something. Remember when you came to mine after the party? Everywhere were dirty clothes and pizza cartons. It was pretty disgusting and it wasn’t even at its worst state so...” Louis made a step forward but Harry still didn’t made a move.

“What curly you’re not going to let me in?” Louis started to get impatient not really understanding why Harry hasn’t fallen in his arms already and thanked him for the food.

“N-no...?” Louis tilted his head to his side looking confused.

“What? Seriously Harry?”

Louis called him Harry which he never does really.

“I mean I- look I can’t explain it right now but we can go to yours?”

See the thing is Harry’s flat was far from untidy or dirty. There weren’t dirty clothes laying around or anything like that. It was actually the opposite.  
Harry’s flat was pretty. His bedroom painted in a light pink and white and everywhere were fluffy carpets and blankets. He had flowers and everywhere you looked were fairy lights.  
And Harry loved it. He felt safe and he wouldn’t want it any other way. But it was girly and that’s why he never let anyone enter his flat. He didn’t want people make him feel uncomfortable in his own space.

“We’ll do shit Princess. Let me in or are you hiding a dead body?”

“What no? Just you’re going to judge me and I don’t want you to think of me that I’m weird or anything.” Louis laughed.

“You’re acting weird right now. I’m the last person to judge you. I promise what ever it is you’re hiding I’m not gonna say a thing. No matter if I like it or not. So will you let me in so we can eat because I’m starving.” Louis spoke calmly, trying to show Harry that he can trust him and feel safe with him.

It felt like a minute until Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath before slowly opening the door.

“Thank you Princess. Now if you would show me your kitchen so I can prepare the food.”  
Harry nodded and walked in front of Louis who looked at everything interested.

He did not expect that to be honest. Not that he really expected anything but that was not it. But he guessed it made sense. He noticed how Harry was in some ways kind of feminine but he liked that part of him.

This flat symbolized everything Louis was not but he liked it.

“Uhm...so here’s the kitchen. Do you want some tea or something?” Harry looked everywhere but to Louis and his hands where shaking and sweaty.

“Yeah a cuppa sounds actually nice.” Harry nodded and turned around. His body tensed. He got two mugs out of a cupboard and started to boil the water. Then he laid two forks on his kitchen isle. He turned around again watching the water kettle. Louis watched him for a while before deciding that he didn’t want Harry to feel this uncomfortable in his own flat.

He got up from his seat and leaned against the countertop. He didn’t say anything yet just waited if Harry would look at him which he didn’t.

„I like it Princess. I know I promised to stay quiet but I don’t want you to feel like you do right now. Because I like it and I think it’s very cute. So stop worrying that pretty head of yours.“

Louis looked up to Harry and after not receiving a reaction he rolled his eyes.

„Harry, Curly, _Princess_ look at me.“

„ _Please_?“ He moved his hand to Harry’s cheek slowly turning his face to him. Green meeting blue.

Harry looked so scared and small in that moment that Louis just wanted to hug him until all his thoughts would turn happy.

„I like it okay? I really do and even if not it shouldn’t matter. Because it’s yours and you probably spend a lot of time decorating it and making it your own and feel safe, right?“

Louis looked- no stared into Harry’s eyes. Trying to make the younger boy believe in his words.

Harry eventually nodded which made Louis smile fondly. He pulled Harry to the couch and finished making the tea which he set on the coffee table, then he got the food and sat next to Harry.

„You know you’re the first one to actually enter and see this all. Not even Niall and i know him since I moved here.“ Harry began after a while and Louis watched him. Giving him his full attention.

“I always was to scared that he maybe would laugh at me or judge me or tell everyone how embarrassing this all is. And I get it you know? I know that it’s not normal for an 19 year old guy to have a pink flat with fairy lights and scented candles. It _is_ weird but I need it I don’t even know why but it makes me feel prettier and safe. And I know it doesn’t sense and you don’t have to understand it because I don’t even understand it.“

And yeah Louis didn’t really understand but he didn’t have to. He just accepts it as what it is and maybe someday he will understand it.

„It’s not weird. Besides I already call you Princess and what kind of Princess would you be if you wouldn’t live in a castle that smelled like fucking flowers and vanilla. A pretty bad one I would say.“ It was a weak try to lighten the mood and Harry smiled a little so that was all he needed really.

They ate their food ( Harry not finishing it but Louis bit his tongue and didn’t say anything even though he started to see a pattern he didn’t like) and turned the tv on, putting it on a low volume.

Harry started yawning at one point at put his head in Louis lap. The older man immediately starting to play with the curls.

“Didn’t sleep well tonight?” Louis asked softly after a while.

“No, stayed up late to study and keep up with all my classes and then I woke up again and couldn’t fall asleep again.”

“You study too much Princess.” Harry shook his head no.

“I don’t. I’m behind my study plan because of you and have to catch up with that. The exams are important can’t fail them.”

“You’re going to overwork yourself love.“

„It’s fine. I know my limits.“ Louis kinda doubted that but didn’t say anything. He just would be there if it would eventually be too much for the curly lad.

They stayed like that for a while, Harry dosing off and Louis eventually falling asleep.

When Louis woke up the weight on his lap was missing and instead a blanket was covering his body.

He rubbed his eyes and combed through his hair a few times before he looked around trying to find his orientation.

He laid the blanket aside and stood up.

“Princess?” He walked out of the living room standing in the hallway wich was connected to every other room in the rather small flat.

“‘M here.” Louis followed the voice into which he figured was Harry’s bedroom where the green-eyed boy sat on a desk bunched over books.

“You’re studying again.” It was a simple statement and Harry hummed as an answer.

“You fell asleep and I didn’t want to disturb you. I also figured that if I would finish something while you were sleeping so that we could spend more time. If you want of course. If you want to drive home that’s also fine.” Harry looked up from his notes while talking smiling shyly and blushing.

Louis threw himself on Harry’s bed which was meticulous well made and he kinda felt bad for ruining it but that vanished quickly after feeling how soft the bed was and how good it smelled.

“Well now I’m awake and I’m bored so entertain me curly.” He looked over to Harry who was still smiling at him.

“Well what do you want to do?” Louis shrugged and leaned on his arms his gaze wandering through the room.

“Nail polish?” He quickly was on his feet and looked through the colours that were neatly sorted into the colours of the rainbow.

He looked back to Harry whose cheeks were burning red. He chuckled and picked a pastel yellow.

“Do you wear it?” He looked at the bottle and saw that it was still sealed. Harry shook his head no.

“Why not?”

“Well it’s for girls innit? I just thought they fitted in here. I liked the colours.”

“Do you want to wear it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? I guess I never thought about it a lot.” Harry shrugged his shoulders but looked to the ground which told Louis a lot.

“Of course you did curly. Don’t lie to me now. Can I paint your nails? I swear I’m good at it used to do it for my sisters all the time.” Harry looked unsure from Louis to the nail polish and to his nails.

“Please curly?” Louis begged, pouting.

“I mean sure... if you want.”

“Perfect!” Louis grinned and pulled Harry up to the bed where they sat down criss-cross.

Louis shook the bottle and carefully unscrewed it. He wiped the brush tip on the top of the bottle to get rid of the excess polish.

“Okay ready?” Louis looked up to Harry who hummed nervously.

Louis nodded to himself and started to apply the polish. Tongue poking out in concentration.

He applied the first layer holding Harry’s hand up between them. It wasn’t perfect and there was on more then one finger yellow on his skin.

“What do you think?”

Harry looked at his nails and started to grin.  
“I love it.” He laughed softly and looked to  
Louis who gave him a squeeze to his leg.

“I’m glad Princess. Let me do the other hand.” They started talking about random stuff Louis trying his hardest to not paint on Harry’s skin which he failed but Harry didn’t care.

“Thank you Lou.” Harry looked at his nails looking happy and Louis couldn’t stop the smile that spread on his lips.

“They look good on you.” Harry blushed and bit his lip nervously.

They decided to watch a movie and at one point Louis confirmed that he would spend the night at Harry’s (He asked and Harry obviously agreed because why would he say no).

“Can I go and take shower?”

Harry nodded and gave Louis everything he needed along with fresh clothes. While Louis showered Harry pulled out a fresh set of sheets for Louis.

“What’s with all the bodyscrubs?” Harry jumped, not expecting Louis standing behind him. Louis laughed at Harry which made the younger one roll his eyes.

“You scared me Lou.”

“Sorry Love.” He was still chuckling. The clothes Harry gave him were to big on him making him look even smaller.

“Just like to use them a lot and they all smell different.” Harry answered Louis question from before and the older man noticed the second set of sheets laying on Harry’s bed.

“Oh so you want me to sleep in your bed Princess? Don’t know if I’m ready for that.” Louis teased the younger one whose eyes grew bigger.

“I didn’t mean it like that! If you don’t want it then I can always sleep on the couch. I just thought that- I don’t know what I thought...”

“I’m just kidding Princess, calm down. It’s fine with me as long as I get to cuddle you.” Harry blushed but nodded he was at a point where he wouldn’t even dare to deny cuddles from Louis.

After Harry showered as well he and Louis made themselves comfy in Harry’s bed and started another movie Harry falling asleep halfway through. Louis turned the tv off and quickly fell asleep after that.

*

Harry jolted awake. His mind blurry and for a second he didn’t knew where he was. He was panting, trying to desperately get more air in his lungs but they just seemed to let less and less through with every breath.

His hands wandered up to his hair pulling it in hope that it would ground him again. It was useless. His checks were wet from the tears running down on them and he tried to curl in on himself trying to be as small as possible.

He backed away when he felt smaller hands on his back and arm, getting to the other end of the bed almost falling to the ground.

“Please don’t hurt me.” Harry’s voice was small and thin. A broken whisper almost not audible.

His eyes were unfocused, frantically looking back and forth in the dark not focusing on anything. His whole body trembling and his arms protectively wrapped around his legs.

Louis watched Harry, unsure how to react, how to help him. He furrowed his eyebrows because of Harry’s words.

“Harry, I won’t hurt you.” He tried to move towards the crying boy who started to whimper at Louis’ movements.

“I’m sorry. I promise I didn’t do anything. _Please_.” His voice was shaking trying to say the words.

“Princess it’s just me. Just Louis. Everything’s fine, you’re safe. I would never hurt you okay? It’s just me.” Louis kept talking, promising not to hurt the scared boy. It eventually worked. Harry’s body relaxing slightly and his eyes starting to focus on Louis. Louis didn’t stop talking and slowly moved towards Harry trying not to scare him anymore.

“ _Louis_!” Harry’s voice cracked and it was more a choking sob. Harry looked at Louis who smiled softly trying to comfort the younger boy even though he was as confused as ever.

Louis moved a little more into Harry’s space and Harry basically threw himself at Louis hugging his torso and hiding his face in Louis’ chest. Louis’ hands moved to Harry’s back and head caressing the curls and stroke his back.

Harry started crying again and Louis just held him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad.” Harry looked up to Louis.

“Why would I be mad Princess?” His voice still soft but Harry didn’t answer, he just nuzzled further into Louis’ chest grabbing the material of his shirt.

“Let’s lay back down okay?” He slowly lay back with Harry still clinging onto him. The younger boy was now between Louis’ legs his upper body on Louis who had his arms around him.

Louis pressed a kiss to Harry’s curls staying there for a few seconds.

“I would never hurt you Princess. I promise you that and I won’t you to trust me. If you’re up for it we can talk about your dream tomorrow but for now try to fall asleep again. You’re safe with me.”

“Not safe.” Harry mumbled against Louis chest his warm breath seeking through the shirt.

“Yes you are I promise.” Louis didn’t know exactly what Harry was so scared of and if he keep him safe from that. But he would try no matter what it is that made Harry act like that he wanted it to disappear out of Harry’s life forever.

He was awake just thinking about everything that happened. He started to relax a little more when Harry’s whimpers and sobs turned into slow breathing signalling that he fell asleep. Louis couldn’t feel his legs anymore but he honestly didn’t care not when he felt so comfortable with Harry lying on top of him. He would never complain about something that felt so right. Because just holding Harry made Louis happy.  
And he admits that it is kind of weird to feel so attached to Harry especially after they have only known each other for a short time.

And Louis doesn’t believe in all this soulmate shit (he read about it on tumblr) because honesty that’s just dumb and unrealistically but if they would exist he’s a hundred percent sure that he and Harry would be soulmates.

But they obviously don’t exist, _obviously_.

His mind jumped from thought to thought overthinking everything and even though he didn’t feel tired the slow breathing pattern coming from Harry made him fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me in the comments what your thoughts about this chapter were xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING **  
> Mention of rape and physical abuse.

When Harry woke up he rolled on his back. He slowly opened his eyes at stared the white ceiling. When he was fully awake everything that happened the night hit him like a truck and guilt and embarrassment washed over him. He was pathetic. He looked over to his side were he suspected Louis to be still sound asleep but when he saw that the side was empty he knew he messed up.

Louis left. Harry messed up. He knew from the beginning that he would be too much to handle so he didn’t wanted to get his hopes up but Louis seemed to be different. With Louis, Harry felt safe and like somebody would actually care for him. And even though he didn’t wanted to he believed Louis when the older boy promised to be there for him. He knew he shouldn’t because it always ends like that. Harry being alone.

To be fair though he couldn’t be mad at Louis. Harry knows he’s a lot to handle. He knows. But he started to like Louis. To really like him. So to say that he lost a possible friend would be an understatement.  
It felt like he lost his only friend. Someone he knew all his life because that’s what it feels like to be with Louis.

It’s like they knew each other for years. Harry thought he found someone he can truly trust. Harry hasn’t felt this happy and comfortable around someone for years like he has with Louis.

He took a deep breath, still exhausted from the events of the Night and upset. He felt like crying but he forced himself to hold the tears back not wanting to deal with his emotions right now.

He threw the blanket away and got out of his bed suddenly feeling very thirsty.  
He made his way into the kitchen were he came to an abrupt halt.

In his kitchen, standing in one of Harry’s sweaters was Louis flipping what looked like something similar to pancakes.

Harry stood there with wide green eyes not really believing what he’s seeing in front of him.

Louis turned around and jumped when he saw Harry.

"Oi Princess, you scared me.“ He held his hand to his heart and laughed a little. Harry didn’t say anything still not really comprehending that Louis is still here and hasn’t left him like he thought.

"You okay there? I thought you would sleep longer after that night so I figured I would try and make you some breakfast in bed. You know as a little surprise.“ Harry still siding do anything but stand there and watch Louis with big doe eyes.

Louis is still here and hasn’t left him. _Louis is still here and hasn’t left him_.

Harry moved forward hugging the smaller boy tight. Louis was startled for a good second but hugged Harry equally tight back.

"Well, Good Morning to you too Princess.“ Louis said softly while Harry buried his head in Louis neck trying his hardest to not cry like the baby he is.

Louis didn’t let go of the hug and neither did Harry. It was like Louis knew what Harry needed and right now it was this hug, the physical contact. And Louis would never deny Harry something he knew the curly boy needed.

It was weird with Harry because as much as he seemed to be scared of touching and being touched he needed it so much. Louis noticed it every time he touched Harry the boy stiffens before relaxing in Louis arms. It’s like he’s trying to figure out if Louis‘ going to hurt him or not. If he can trust him or not and it’s always a small debate in Harry’s head. Louis notices it in Harry’s eyes but Harry always goes with trusting Louis and that makes Louis somehow special.

Harry is like glass in a way. You need to be careful with him. He’s vulnerable and so easy to break and Louis would never let that happen. But he know that Harry is already broken and he will try his hardest to fix him. And he know there are always going to be cracks.

"You’re still here.“ Harry mumbled after a while, head still in the crook of Louis‘ neck.

"Well obviously. Did you thought I left?“ Harry nodded.

"Why is that?“ Louis wanted to look Harry in the eyes because he could read them so easily. Harry thinks he’s good at hiding his emotions from others which might be the case for some but not with Louis. To Louis, Harry was like an open Book. Harry’s eyes were basically screaming his thoughts. The thoughts he didn’t spoke and Louis gets better every time in reading them.

He carefully took Harry’s chin in his hand and pulled him away a little so that he could look at him. His lips were in a cute pout due to Louis squeezing them together.

"Just thought that after tonight you wouldn’t want to deal with me anymore.“ Harry said slowly and quietly not looking in those _blueblueblue_ eyes that always made him spill everything on his mind. Louis thumb caressed Harry’s cheek and he wanted nothing more than to touch the red lips that looked so plumb.

"That’s silly love. What kind of person would I be when I would leave you after feeling so scared?“

"A normal person?“ Louis let go of Harry and turned back to the food which was pretty much burned by now.

"Oh fucking hell. Stupid food.“ He threw the pancakes on a plate and Harry chuckled behind him.

"I really wanted to make this perfect.“

"I’ll do it step away.“ Harry grabbed the pan and started making pancakes with Louis‘ batter. Louis sat himself on the kitchen island and watched Harry.

"You know that it wouldn’t be normal if I would have just left right?“ Harry shook his head.

"Happened before and I don’t blame them. It’s weird and crazy. I’d be probably scared as  
well.“

"Who left you. Give me some names and I’ll kick them in their ugly arses.“ Harry chuckled and flipped the pancakes.

"It doesn’t matter now, does it? But I’m glad you didn’t you know?“ And Louis knew. He could tell by the reaction Harry had. But it bothered him that Harry accepted it that people would leave him alone after something like that happened.

Harry put the pancakes on plates and gave Louis cutlery.

"Do you want a cuppa or coffee?“ Harry put maple syrup on the kitchen isle and looked to Louis who was still sitting on the kitchen island.

"A cuppa would be nice, thanks  
Princess.“ Louis smiled at Harry who returned it halfhearted.

Harry prepared the two cups of tea while Louis started to eat. Louis wanted to talk with Harry about the events from the night but he didn’t know how to start that conversation. He didn’t want to make Harry feel uncomfortable or forced but he knew he eventually could help the younger boy better if he knew what exactly happened in his past that formed him into the person he is know and it would help to understand things that would trigger Harry’s panic attacks so he could help him to prevent them and avoid them.

If he would understand it better he could immediately tell when something would be triggering Harry and he could keep him safe from that.

But he really didn’t want to press Harry. He slowly chewed on his food. That was another thing he wanted to talk about with Harry.

They haven’t eaten a lot together that but Louis noticed how little Harry always ate and he could be on a complete wrong path but even now he noticed how Harry put a lot less on his plate then on Louis.

And even though Harry was tall and had broad shoulders he was thin. Louis noticed and he was worried.

They ate in silence, both boys deep in thoughts. Eventually they finished and Louis insisted he would do the dishes after failing making the breakfast.

Harry tried to argue but Louis was stubborn and pushed Harry out of the kitchen.

„Go watch some tv or something I’ll do  
it.“ Harry rolled his eyes but let Louis push him away.

„I saw that curly.“ Harry stuck his tongue out and walked over to his couch from where he watched Louis (please mind that he had an open kitchen that was connected to the living room).

When Louis finished he dried his hands and walked over to Harry who watched his every move. He put a hand in Harry’s curls slowly playing with them and after a short while Harry leaned into the touch.

Harry yawned which made him look like a kitten and Louis chuckled softly.

“Tired Princess?” Harry just nodded eyes slowly closing. Louis thought for a second how he should approach the whole topic, his hands still in Harry’s curls comforting the botch of them.

“Princess? Look at me.” Louis let go of Harry’s hair who gave a disapproving whimper from his lips. He turned his head to Louis who smiled at him.

“I thought that maybe we could talk a bit. You know about tonight?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows and Louis could tell that he began to close up.

“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to but I really think it would help both of us. I want to understand you better so that I can help you. I want to be there for you and keep you safe if you’ll let me and I think it might help you to talk about it as well. I promise you that I won’t leave after that. I won’t judge you or anything I just want to be there for you.” Louis hoped he chose the right words and that he didn’t mess it up.

Harry’s eyes flicked over Louis’ face trying to figure out if he wants to trust Louis with his past. It’s silent for a long time. Harry looking at Louis and Louis looking at Harry.

Louis’ eyes are so _blueblueblue_ and when Harry looks at them he know he can trust the boy they belong to.

He nodded and Louis turned into the actual sun.

“Thank you Princess.” He sat himself next to Harry.

“Wha-“ Harry cleared his throat. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything You’re willing to tell me. I’ll be here and listen.”

Harry took a deep breath.

“I...uhm i could maybe start with tonight?” He played nervously with his fingers not daring to look up.

Louis stroke on of Harry’s curls behind his ear and took Harry’s hand in his squeezing it reassuringly.

„That sounds good.“ Harry nodded and looked up to Louis.

„Okay so I have these nightmares. Not every night but often enough. They- they’re never the same though. Sometimes they’re like memories of- of an old relationships I was in and sometimes they’re how he finds me. They’re worse, the one where he finds me. That’s what I dreamed tonight. That he found my flat. I- I came home after university and the door stood open and everything was trashed. He destroyed everything in here. Well I didn’t know it was him but like I knew if that makes sense. So I went into the living room and he sat here.“ Harry pointed to the couch and Louis listened intently.

„He sat here and smiled at me and I was so scared. I’m still so scared of him Lou.“ Louis looked at Harry who was close to crying and he squeezed his hand again.

„So he just sat here smiling at me like a psychopath or something and there was blood on his knuckles and I wanted to turn around and run away. As far as I can but my legs wouldn’t move. I just stood there frozen and he got up from the couch slowly coming over to me and I just wanted to get away from but I couldn’t- I couldn’t move. And he grabbed my hair and-" Harry was crying now and Louis wiped the tears away. Carefully and soft. He didn’t say anything though.

Louis was a loud person but he knew when he should be quiet and he wanted to let Harry tell it in his pace.

„He grabbed my hair and he’s strong Lou. He’s so damn tall and strong and I didn’t have a chance against him....Never had. He pulled me with him and.... and I tried to scream and fight him but I couldn’t- like there was no sound coming out of me and... I know better then to fight him y‘know?“

No, Louis didn’t understand but he nodded and smiled softly at Harry trying to comfort him. His insides were on fire though. He was mad at that fucker for hurting Harry like that.

„The next thing I now is that he throws me on the bed... and- I try to get away because I know what’s coming next. But my body is numb. It’s so stupid because I should be able to run away, to fight him but all I’m doing is lie there crying and he laughs. He looks a-at me and laughs.“

Louis wanted to punch something. He had a feeling where this would lead and he didn’t want to hear it if he was honest.

„Then he is on top of me and he’s kissing me and I don’t want it. He has my hands pinned over my head and he chokes me with his other hand and I almost can’t breath. And- and then he pulls my pants and my boxers down and he- you now- he touches my Penis and h-he pushes my legs apart and before he could- I- woke up before anything else happened and- I couldn’t really like tell if it was reality or dream- because I was still in my bed and I was so confused in that moment. And I thought- even though you are nothing like him I couldn’t tell- I just it was too much- I thought you were him. I- I’m so sorry Lou-" Harry choked on his tears and Louis carefully hugged the younger boy closer to himself.

„It’s okay. You don’t need to apologise. Not for something like that. It’s not your fault.  
Okay?“ Louis tried his hardest to sound calm when he reality he was raging with hatred against that guy. He wiped Harry’s tears away and the younger boy sniffled.

„So that guy is you’re ex boyfriend?“ Harry nodded.

„We came together when I was 15. He was three years older and a real charmer. You know he was good. He helped to figure the whole gay thing out and supported me when I wanted to came out. He was there for me when I felt low and he made me happy. He was a real charmer. Everyone loved him. He had always had good grade and my mom treated him like a son. He wanted to go to university and he wanted me to come with him. And I was up for it. I was so happy with him it felt like he would put the world to my feet. It sounds dumb. I know but he was good at manipulating people. That’s what he did with my mom. I don’t know one sane person who would let her almost 16 year old son move in with an almost 19 year old. But my mom thought it was a good idea. I think a big factor that also played a role was that he came from a wealthy family. He had enough money to take care of me. Money that my family didn’t had.“

Louis furrowed his brows because it kind of sounded like Harry’s mom sold his son.

„So we moved together and we were happy. Well i thought we were. I was concentrating on finishing school and he was studying at university. I was often alone at our flat. He said he needed to work on projects or that he was at the library studying. I asked him why he didn’t study at home. He always said that when he was home he wanted to spend the time with me and I believed him. In the beginning. It went on like that for a few weeks. He came home late at night and more frequently drunk. And in the beginning it was okay you know? He was young and at university I expected something like that but it got worse.“

Louis watched Harry. He noticed the little smile that Harry had when he thought of the better memories. Louis didn’t like that smile because Harry looked like he still had feelings for that idiot. Their hands were still intertwined, Louis thumb stroking the back of Harry’s hand and going over his knuckles.

"One day when he came a little early and not so drunk I said that I wanted to talk. I told him I missed him and our dates and just cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. That was the first time he hit me. And he apologized immediately saying it was by mistake. That he didn’t mean it and I believed him. He said he tried to be home more often. The week after that he took me out for dinner and we had sex that night. Not for the first time and it was good. It was soft and romantic. I think that was the last time it was like that though. I’m not sure."

"From there on, everything just went downwards. He started to hit me for everything I did wrong always so, that no one would see it in school and you know he made me think I deserved it. I still sometimes think it i know it’s Crazy. I know. But I can’t help it. And everything I do something in a way I know he wouldn’t like it I feel so guilty and bad that I sometimes do it again. I want him to be proud of me, to show him that I can be good for him. He had that thing, were he told me I was a good boy when he was proud of me and I loved it. I always felt so happy because he was proud of me. I needed him to tell me that I was good, that he was proud of me.“

"At one point the things turned. Because I’m the beginnings he always apologized after hurting me but at one point I was the one apologizing. He always told me what I did wrong and that I deserved to be punished so I apologized. I apologized for the things I did wrong, for making him this mad. I wanted him to be happy. I apologized and he told me it was okay but that i still need to take my punishment _like a good boy_. So I think that really fucked with my head.“

Louis started to understand more and more and he also felt like throwing up because it was sick what that guy did to Harry.

„I wanted to please him in every way possible. You know he paid for my rent, my food and basically everything else. He didn’t want me to have to work. He said i should completely be focused on school and my mom always said how grateful I should be for him and that it would be a shame if I would throw all of that away. So I let him use me in anyway he wanted. He often came home, drunk and horny and I obeyed. I let him fuck me and it hurt because I never was prepared and he never cared to open me up. He just put a condom on and fucked me. He said that’s what’s a whore deserves. It hurt so much and I cried. Sometimes he got mad and sometimes he laughed when I cried. I often woke up to him pushing into me. A few times I passed out because it hurt so much and one time I even had to go to the hospital because I was bleeding.“

Louis saw red by now. He wanted to kill that guy.

„When I finished school I was seventeen and at this point he almost never let me or of our flat. I wasn’t allowed to see friends or anyone really. He took my phone when he went to university and there was no money laying around. He gave me my phone when he came back and he let the groceries be delivered. I haven’t had any excuses to go out anymore but he didn’t trust me. I have no idea why. So he started to lock the door when he left and took the keys with him. He reasoned it by saying he wanted to keep me safe. He said people would take advantage of me and he didn’t want anyone to hurt me. That he wanted to have me only for himself.“

Louis eyes widen at the confessions Harry made and he honestly couldn’t listen anymore but he wouldn’t stop Harry. Not when he was so open with him and trusted him with all of this. Harry looked at Louis what felt like the first time since he started talking. He wasn’t crying anymore but his eyes were red and his lips swollen.

Louis doesn’t look better though. He started crying silently with Harry and he was glad that the younger boy didn’t saw him.

Harry’s gaze went over Louis‘ Face and they just looked at each other before Harry kept on talking.

„We lived like that for a year. I barely saw my mom. He was the only person I basically saw and could talk to. But he was barely present. I knew that he had some kind of affair with a women. He got a message on his phone and I swear I didn’t look on purpose it just happened. She asked him when he would come over. She really send him that she misses his big fat cock.“ Harry laughed a little and played with Louis‘ hand that was still in his. His face turned serious again when he kept on talking.

„He saw me. He saw how I looked at his hands and I never saw him so mad like on that day. I don’t know why he got so angry because I did worse things where he hit me less. I started to hit me in my stomach and ribs and also in my face. Which he didn’t do often. I guess he liked my face or something. When I laid on the floor he started to kick me and I know that he screamed at me the whole time but I can’t remember what he said. I was barely conscious when he pushed into me without condom or lube or anything. I passed out while he fucked me.“

Louis was at a loss for words. He couldn’t believe someone could be that sick and cruel. And Harry sounded like he did I’m fact deserve everything that guy did to him. It was twisted and Louis hated it.

„I woke up on the floor in the middle of the night and everything hurted. I felt like I couldn’t move but something came over me that night. Something told me to get away from there as fast as possible. So I stood up from the floor and ran to the next bus station. I probably looked crazy with blood all over my face and limping but I didn’t care. The luck was on my side for the first time in what felt like years because the driver didn’t say anything he just let me in. I don’t even know why a bus would drive that late in such a small town but I don’t want question it I’m just thankful. When he came to the last stop the bus driver called me to him and he gave me money. Said I should take care of myself.“

Louis doesn’t really believe in angels but that bus driver probably was some and he was thankful for him.

„I took the money and went to London with it. I cleaned myself up and looked for a job and then I met Niall. He helped me with a lot of things. Because of him I’m in university and he in a way saved me. I called my mom shortly after I came here and told her that we broke up and that I’m now in London. Said I needed space from Holmes Chapel and everything and I could tell she was upset but she couldn’t do anything really. I never told her what he did though. She adored him so much I didn’t want to ruin that. I think that sums it pretty much up. I get it if you want to run away it’s a lot and it’s weird.“

Louis looked to Harry and shook his head.

„Fuck Harry, Curly, _Princess_. Just- I’m so mad at that guy and I’m so proud of you okay? So proud that you had the power to run away. So proud that you came here. So proud that you decided to go to university. So proud and grateful that you trust me and told me  
that.“ Louis took Harry’s face in his hands. Caressing over the defined cheekbones and jawline.

Blue eyes staring into green.

„I’m so proud.“ It was no more a whisper and Harry’s eyes started to water again.

„No one over said that.“ Harry mumbled his voice kind of husky from all the talking he did.

„No one ever told you that they’re proud of you?“

„Well not because of that. I only told Niall but not as detailed. He just said it’s Good that im not there anymore.“

„Well I’m pretty fucking proud of you and you should be too. You’re strong Princess. You had the courage to safe yourself and that’s something you should be proud of.“

„Thank you Lou.“ Louis nodded.

„I just- You now you didn’t deserve anything he did to you right? You know that he wasn’t a good person. That’s not what Love is like Harry , you know that, am I right? What he did was wrong and sick and you shouldn’t ever think about him as a good person. He isn’t good.“

„I know. Sometimes I know, sometimes I don’t. It’s confusing to be honest. Because I should hate him but something in me still loves him. And sometimes I hate myself for running away. I think that I probably hurt him and that he probably was so mad. I hate it when he is  
mad.“ Louis nods.

„I get it curly. At least I try to get it. But I think I understand. Just maybe tell me when you feel like this so I can prove you wrong.“  
Harry smiled softly.

And Louis thinks he begins to understand. Why Harry is so quiet and always so on edge. Why he’s scared of crowds or other things.

It all starts to make sense to Louis now.

„Thank you for listening Lou. Thank you. I never told this much I always was scared of the reaction people would have. But 'm glad I told you. I trust you.“

Harry shouldn’t have went through so much shit at such a Young age. No one should and he’s so thankful that he made it out of there.

Louis kissed the top of Harry’s head, Harry’s arms wandering around his torso, face pressed to his tummy.

„So what do you say curly you’re still up for that nap?“ Sure it’s was a weird topic change but Louis saw how tired Harry was and how much it had worn him out to tell him that and Louis was also tired from all the emotions he just went through and all this new information. He needed to sort everything through at one point. To really process everything but for now he just wanted to distract Harry from all the memories.

„Yeah I’d like that. Can we stay here though?“

„Whatever you want Princess.“ Louis Mayes down, Harry between his legs and on top of him and they somehow managed to throw a blanket over their body’s.

Louis started to stroke Harry’s curls immediately when they were comfortable and Harry hummed happy.

They both felt content and safe and Louis wanted it to stay that way forever.

Wanted to make sure Harry would be safe and happy. That maybe he can go back to his old self. He was at a point where he would do anything for Harry which is weird because they don’t know each other long but something deep connects them and Louis thinks it’s a Mutual feeling.

Harry falls asleep quickly and Louis is not far behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys.  
> Let me know what you think about this story in the comments.  
> xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I Hope y’all watched Louis‘ live because I did and I almost had a heart attack.  
> His voice was so beautiful, his new song was perfect and let’s not forget about the huge H on his shirt.

A few weeks went by in which it seemed kind of impossible to get Harry and Louis apart. They were mostly at Harry’s flat due to him not having a flatmate and because Louis actually liked his flat more.

It was comfy and cute so what would you want more? They kind of did everything together which was weird but it just is what it is really.  
Louis wouldn’t leave Harry’s side and vice versa. It became a habit for Louis to drive Harry to university or work and pick him up from so they could spend time together.  
They got into their own rhythm.

Harry hasn’t felt this happy for years and Louis noticed. How the younger boy got more comfortable around him. Made jokes or teased Louis and he loved that side of Harry. Wanted to see more of it but he also noticed how sometimes after Harry said something he would make himself small again acting like he said something wrong and that hurt Louis.

He always made sure to tell Harry that he didn’t do anything wrong though and it helped.

So it might seem weird that just because Harry told Louis his story everything is good. Truth is it isn’t.

Harry still has his nightmares and they sometimes are so bad that he would wake up screaming not letting Louis touch him. And Louis would just sit there staring at Harry who would cry and be so scared and he couldn’t do anything or rather he hasn’t figured out yet what to do in these situations and Harry didn’t now either.

He just kept apologising over and over again until Louis would put his hand over his mouth trying to shut him up.

And then there were the dreams were he would just wake up crying, trying to be as quiet as possible to not wake the older man sleeping next to him but Louis always notice. It’s like he feels somethings wrong as if his body feels that Harry isn’t laying cuddled against him anymore and send warning signals to wake him up.

These are the dreams that Louis handle. When these happen all Louis has to do his hold Harry and promise him that he’s safe. He wish he could take them away though. He wished he could make that Harry would never have a bad dream in his life again.

The best nights are we’re Harry sleeps through though. Tightly cuddled against Louis seeking for his warmth and comfort. On these days Harry wouldn’t leave the bed until Louis basically has to drag him out.

Sleepy Harry is one of Louis favourite Harry’s though. Because he’s all clingy and cuddly and Louis‘ gotta admit he loves that. He would never say no to cuddling with Harry.

So yeah that pretty much summed the last weeks up. They’re filled with soft words and long cuddles.

They are on Harry’s balcony right now. Louis smoking a cigarette which he doesn’t do often anymore due to Harry hating it but he’s addicted so stopping isn’t an option not right now at least. Harry is wrapped in a big blanket watching Louis blow the smoke out into the cold air.

It’s the middle of October and it’s getting colder with every day.

„Zayn wants to throw a Halloween party at our flat.“ Louis looks down to where Harry sits watching the younger lads reaction.

„Okay that’s cool, isn’t it?“ Louis shrugged.

„I like party’s but hosting on is always stressful and I’m also not a Fan of having to clean the entire flat after that.“ Harry chuckled.

„It’s going to be nice. You can dress up and have fun. If you want I can help you clean up you know. I don’t mind.“

„Do you want to come? We could dress up in a partner costume.“ Louis flipped his cigarette over the railing which landed him a disapproving look from Harry.

„I don’t think so. They’re gonna be lots of people and I’m still not really over the last party I went to.“

„Sure, we can stay here. Make a movie night and watch some scary stuff.“

„Lou you can go. I didn’t say that just because I don’t want to go you’re not allowed to. Do what ever you want.“ Harry rolls his eyes.

„I know that I don’t need your approval or anything like that but I don’t like it when you’re alone. I’d prefer you over any party Princess.“

„I know Lou and I appreciate it but that’s the problem. You shouldn’t. You’re young and you enjoy partying so please do me a favour and do that. Have fun get drunk and I will make you soup if you’re hungover.“

This time it was Louis who rolled his eyes.

„I’ll decide it last minute and you know people change. Maybe I like it more to stay in them go out all the times.“

„Sure you do grandpa.“ Harry followed Louis inside closing the door behind him and going straight to the couch we’re he cuddled into Louis.

„You’re cute. Looking all comfy.“ Louis looked fondly down at Harry who was blushing at the words.

„'s cold outside.“ Louis hummed.

„I know I told you to wait till I finished.“

„Don’t like it when you smoke. 'S not good for your Health.“

„I know Princess. I know but I’m reducing it for you, yeah? Be patient with me can’t stop it overnight.“ Harry nodded while a yawn came out. Their night was short and Louis knew Harry would be passed out by noon.

He started to play with Harry curls which made the boy even sleepier and after a few minutes he was asleep, his head on Louis’ chest where his heart is.

*

In the end, Louis decided he would go to the Halloween party and stay there a couple hours and then go to Harry’s, to watch some movies.

Harry wasn’t really happy with his choice because he insisted that Louis should go get drunk until he couldn’t walk straight anymore and stay at his place curing his hungover out. But Louis wanted the party and Harry and Louis always got what he wanted.

When Halloween rolled around Louis let Harry paint his face white and put a black star over his eyes. He thought he looked good and he promised Harry he’d be home soon. He always referred to Harry’s flat as home because that’s what he felt here the most.

His flat was cold and empty and Harry’s was warm and welcoming. He really loved that flat.

When he arrived at the party most of the People were already pissed and Louis rolled his eyes. Sure when he drank then until he was really pissed but it wouldn’t happen one hour after the party started.

He checked if Zayn remembered to lock his door (which he did) before he went to search for Zayn. He eventually found him with Liam in their kitchen mixing drinks. He could tell that Zayn was high but Liam seemed to be sober.

„Hey mate.“ Zayn hugged Louis ruffling his hair. He slapped the hand off of his head and hugged Liam.

„Where’s your boyfriend?“ Zayn looked around as if Harry would magically appear out of nowhere.

„He’s not my boyfriend and he couldn’t make it. `M gonna go back to his flat in a few hours though.“

„Ugh look at you being all in love and  
domestic.“ Zayn fake gagged and Louis rolled his eyes.

„'m not in Love. You’re the one in love. You have Lima by your side.“

„Mate you’re more at his flat than at ours. What do you pay rent for if you don’t even live here.“

„Well if you would see his flat you would understand why I like it there more.“ He probably wouldn’t because even though Louis started to Love Harry’s flat, the reason why he liked it so much was probably because Harry was there.

„Sure Louis, if you say so. I think you’re head over heels for this boy.“

„I’m not. He’s just a friend. Now let’s have some fun.“

 _He’s just a friend_. Louis thought about that sentence a lot on this evening and after his third beer he came to his conclusion.

Harry was more then just a friend.

He got up from the couch and made his way out of the party. He missed Harry. His smell, his jokes, his curls, his voice. His everything.

He would’ve said good bye to Zayn but he’s pretty sure that he was snogging Liam somewhere and he didn’t want to interrupt them. Not again.

Louis threw his jacket over and made his way to Harry’s flat. He got the key out that Harry hid under his doormat and unlocked the door. He put his shoes and jacket off and went into the living room where he found Harry seeping on the couch. He looked at the time and cursed to himself when he noticed his late it already was.

„Hey Princess, wake up for me.“ He caressed Harry’s curls and traced the lines of Harry’s face with his finger. When Harry opened his eyes Louis smiled at him.

„Come to bed it’s late.“ Harry rubbed his eyes yawning and Louis smiled fondly at him. His curls were messy and his cheeks slightly red.

„ _Lou_!“ Harry whined and Louis chuckled.

„'m here Princess come to bed and we can cuddle.“ Louis helped Harry get up from the couch and lead the way to the bedroom. He tucked Harry in and kissed the boys forehead.

Harry whined when Louis made an effort to leave.

„Love I'm Just gonna go brush my teeth. I’ll be back in a second okay?“ Harry nodded and waited for Louis to come back and cuddle him.

"You’re not drunk. Why aren’t you  
drunk?“ Harry looked to Louis who was putting one over Harry’s T-shirt’s on.  
He laughed lightly and turned to Harry who was a little bit more awake.

„I didn’t want to get drunk. But I stayed there longer than I thought I would.“

He crawled into Harry’s bed, the younger boy immediately curling up to him, his face on Louis chest listening to his heartbeat.

„Well did you have fun?“ Harry started to trace random shapes on Louis chest and tummy which left goosebumps on his skin.

„Yeah. I mean I actually didn’t know many of the people and most of them were way to drunk. But Zayn and Liam are always good company.“

„How long have they been together?“

„Zayn and Liam?“ Harry hummed.

„Way too long. I don’t really know I’ve known Zayn for like 5 years now and he introduced me to Liam after two years. I think they had just sex for a year or something but I could always tell that Liam wanted more from Zayn. God I had to listen to all their drama from both sides, it was fucking annoying Princess. They eventually decided to talk with each other instead of about each other and then thy told me they were together. I’d say two years. Liams good for Zayn though. They’re good for each other.“

„You’re going to like Liam. He’s all puppy like with his brown eyes and that boy always smiles.“

Harry has met Zayn once because he and Louis got some clothes for the older boy and Zayn was at their flat. But he still had to meet Liam which would probably happen tomorrow.

"You know, Zayns kinda intimidating.“ Louis laughed which made Harry furrow his brows and put his lips in a pout.

„'s not funny Lou.“

„No it’s not you’re right Princess. I could tell it y’know? That you were kinda scared of him. But I promise you, there’s no reason to be afraid of Zayn. I know he looks all scary and mysterious with his eyes and bad boy look but he’s lovely. He’s always there if you need him. He’s my partner in crime. If I were to kill someone he’d be the first one I’d call and he wouldn’t ask questions. He would probably punch me pretty hard but I’m the end he’d help me. You know what I mean.“

„I guess.“ They stayed silent for a while just listening to their breathing.

„What am I to you Lou?“ And fuck that hit him like cold water.

He liked Harry and he’s pretty damn sure he likes him more then just a little bit. Would he consider it as a crush? He doesn’t know. Louis isn’t good in dealing with feelings. At least not with his own. But what was Harry to him?

„You’re my Princess.“

Was that answer enough? Louis didn’t know. He didn’t know anything really and he’s pretty sure that he should think about the feeling he has for the curly boy.

„Yeah, I like that.“ Louis smiled and played with Harry’s curls. He loved his hair. It’s maybe one of his favourite things of Harry. Apart from the eyes, the dimples, his smile, how he blushes and gets all shy when Louis compliments him, how he loves it when Louis plays with his hair and- Louis could probably go on like that for hours but that’s not the point. The point is that Louis in this moment realised that he in fact has a big crush on Harry Styles.

That’s bad. Bad in the way that the last thing Harry probably needs right now is a boyfriend. Not after his last one. He should focus on healing. So yeah Louis might get his heart broken but that’s okay right?

He’d do anything for Harry he knows that and e promised to keep him safe and that’s what he would do.

He noticed how Harry fell a sleep on his chest but Louis was still wide awake. He needed to talk with zayn like right now but he couldn’t because he was probably drunk as fuck and snogging his boyfriend or something.

He played with Harry’s curls and traced shapes on his back. He painted a house with a tree and kids and then he painted something new. At on point Harry started to move which made Louis freeze. The younger boy moved even closer to Louis, almost laying completely on him and Louis smiled because he could get used to that.

Well he’s already used to that and he probably couldn’t sleep alone anymore. Not when Harry and he were with each other 24/7. But he liked to have Harry around. Liked to now that he was safe and felt happy. And he _loved_ it when he was the reason for Harry’s happiness.

So yeah that’s that.

*

Louis ringed the doorbell for his flat at least one minute before he got his keys out and opened the door for him and Harry (he probably would’ve kept ringing until someone opened but Harry was cold).

„I still don’t understand why you have to ring the doorbell when you have keys.“ Harry was behind Louis, climbing up the stairs.

„Well I’m not gonna clean up this whole flat alone. It was Zayns party so he obviously needs to help and Limas his boyfriend so he can’t get out and I bet that there are probably two random people passed out on the floor and o want them out of my flat when I enter it.“  
Harry was still confused but he didn’t say anything just walked behind Louis until they were at the door.

The moment Louis wanted to put the key in the lock the door opened. In front of the two boys was a grumpy looking Zayn, his hair all messed up and he was just in joggers.

„What the fuck Louis.“ He looked pissed and Harry subconsciously made a step back and tried to make himself smaller again.

„Oi shut up Malik. Let us in so we can help you clean the flat. Is Liam awake?“

Zayn looked over his shoulder where a tired looking Liam was putting a jumper on.

„Morning Louis and you are Harry?“ Liam held his hand up for Harry to take it. Harry nodded and waved, overwhelmed with the situation.

Louis was right though, Liams smile was nice and warm. Different from zayn who was still glancing around.

Louis cleared his throat in an attempt to cut the awkwardness with Liams hand still in the air and Harry trying to hide behind Louis.

„So where do we start?“ Louis looked in the way if the living room.

„I need coffee first.“ Zayn started to make his way into the kitchen, Liam right behind him.

Louis turned to Harry and smiled at him.

„They hate me.“ The younger boy mumbled upset and Louis stepped closer taking his hand and squeezing it.

„Bullshit Princess. They don’t. Don’t think that okay.“

„I couldn’t even shake his hand Lou.“

„And that’s okay. I promise you that it is okay. They won’t hate you over something small like that. And Zayns just hungover.“

„But it’s rude and I don’t- I want them to like me. They’re you best friends.“

„They’re going to like you. How could they not you’re lovely. And their opinion shouldn’t matter. I like you and the rest is unimportant.“

Louis squished Harry’s face together, something he loved to do because it made the younger boy look way too cute and Harry just let him do it.

After Zayn had his coffee they started to clean the entire flat and they where way faster then they thought they would be.

"'M gonna smoke and then we’re ready to  
go.“ Harry nodded and Louis got up from his seat on the couch.

„I’ll go with you.“ Zayn got up as well and they left Harry and Liam in an awkward silence.

„What’s up with that boy mate? I mean I get he’s shy or something but why wouldn’t he shake Li‘s hand?“ Louis lit his cigarette and gave the lighter to Zayn.

„It’s just something personal. I can’t really tell you anything but he didn’t mean it to be rude. He’s just- I don’t know but I swear he’s the nicest person on this planet.“

„Sure. You really like him don’t you?“ Louis chuckled and wiped his hand over his face.

„That’s the problem. I think I like him a little too much.“

„What’s the problem with that? You’re already acting more like a couple then me and Li.“

„I just don’t think that a Relationship or anything like that is what he need right now.“

„How would you know?“

„It just- he’s had a shit past and it just wouldn’t make sense for him to get into a relationship right now. I feel like he needs to concentrate on himself a bit.“

„And what are you going to do? Just stand next to him and support him as a  
friend?“ Louis shrugged his shoulders but nodded.

„That’s stupid Lou. That’s not good for you. Let me tell you something. The way that kid looks at you- it’s like You’re the world to him. He admires you I can see that. And he probably likes you too. I’m sure.“

„I don’t want to hurt him Zee. I’m not the right person for him.“

„Man You’re complicated. He trusts you and he’s for sure head over heels. Why not give it a shot. I thought you were already fucking or something.“ Louis hit Zayns neck for that comment.

„We’re not okay? Nothing happened between us.“ Zayn held his hands up and shrugged his shoulders.

„Just keep in mind that you’re also important and that you matter. It’s not all about him.“

But it _is_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments. xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 coming with 6.000 words baby. 
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING** 
> 
> MENTION OF EATING DISORDER 
> 
> Btw I don’t know a lot about these things and I’m really sorry but I was too lazy to educate myself on it. This chapter is probably unrealistic and just doesn’t make sense but whatever. Hope you still like it. 
> 
> Another thing. Corona is killing me. My school gave us so many assignments over the holidays and I think thats rude and I don’t want that. 
> 
> Also I know yall are confused with Niall but honestly same. I DIDNT PLAN ON HIM BEING SUCH A DICK I SWEAR IT JUST HAPPENED AND I’D LIKE TO FORMALLY APOLOGISE I LOVE NIALL. I SWEAR. PLEASE DONT HATE ME.

Louis felt like he would go mental. In the last two weeks of spending almost every second of free time he had with Harry he was sure he was completely gone for this kid. And it wouldn’t even be a bad thing if his brain wouldn’t tell him that it wasn’t good for Harry to be in a relationship. Wich really, who was Louis to decide what the younger needed? But he couldn’t help it. It felt like taking advantage of Harry in a weird way.

So waking up with a boner while the curly boy was cuddled up to him became a daily event and it was in a way humiliating. It led to a few very awkward moments between the two and Louis kind of felt bad for it because he noticed how Harry stiffened and tensed. He noticed how the whole sex topic made Harry uncomfortable and he understood. He did. But it was hard because his heart kind of felt like falling apart (not really but Louis liked the drama- he was a theatre kid after all).

Harry seemed to be completely oblivious to Louis‘ feeling being very much focused on dealing with his own. They were overwhelming the green eyed boy often. Being too much to handle and he was thankful for Louis in these moments who would be there for him. Who would listen if he wanted to talk and help him sort it out or who would just hold him and wipe his tears away. It was mostly the latter but that was okay. It was more then a few month before where he would scoop up all of his emotions and deal with them on his own, which really meant not at all until he would have a complete breakdown all at once or they would come up on his dreams.

His dreams weren’t as prominent anymore and didn’t happen as often. When they happened then mostly on nights were him and Louis wouldn’t sleep together because of university or work. But when Louis was with him they, if they happened at all were bearable. They didn’t vanish and Harry was sure they wouldn’t for a very long time but they got less and that was also a big success in his eyes.

Harry owned Louis a lot. He realised that and he had now clue how to make it ever up to the blue eyed boy. But he wanted to, at least in some way.

Louis was currently on Harry’s couch on his phone while he waited for Harry to come out of the shower. They hadn’t seen each other the last two days because Harry had to work a lot and was the rest of the time stuck in his Uni and Louis had to study a new play.

He smiled when Harry entered the living room wearing comfy looking leggings and an oversized sweater.

The leggings were something Louis recently discovered by accident. He was searching for a jumper he could borrow and suddenly had a blue leggings in his hands. Harry got all red and embarrassed, tried to convince Louis that they were in fact not his but Louis, who is not dumb just told Harry that it’s nothing to be embarrassed of and if he liked them he should wear them. And since then Harry wore them around Louis. So yeah that’s that.

His hair was still slightly damp and Louis smiled when he looked at Harry. But that smile fainted when he noticed how pale Harry suddenly got and he quickly was by his side.

„Everything okay Princess?“ Louis carefully wrapped an arm around Harry’s waist and helped him to the couch so he could sit down.

„Y- yeah ju-Just showered too- too hot. I  
guess.“ Louis frowned but didn’t say anything.

"Here, drink some water." Harry took the glass Louis held for him with a shaky hand and after a moment he wrapped his other hand around the glass too. He slowly drank it and he reminded Louis of a toddler, his eyes going cross because he looked in the glass.

Louis chuckled lowly and ran his fingers through Harry’s hair which seemed too calm Harry a bit.

„Better?“ Louis asked when Harry handed him the glass, which was now half empty back and the green-eyed boy nodded.

„Yeah, thank you.“ Louis smiled at him.

„No problem.“ He put the glass down on the table and looked at Harry again. He still looked rather pale but Louis decided to blame it on the weather.

„So you’re still up for running errands?“

„Oh yeah, yeah of course. I forgot about that let me just change quickly.“ Louis furrowed his eyebrows in concern when Harry stood up and swayed a moment squeezing his eyes together before slowly walking off to get changed.

While Harry changed Louis already put on his shoes and beanie waiting by the door for Harry.

They walked quickly to Louis‘ car. It was cold and windy outside and Louis made sure to heat his car up as quickly as he could.

It should be snowing soon and Louis was excited. In two weeks was Christmas and there was nothing Louis loved more than snow and Christmas which may have something to do with the fact that his birthday was on Christmas Eve.

Louis parked in front of the store and opened the door for Harry who smiled thankfully. He walked next to Harry who apparently made it his job to walk extra slow today. Louis didn’t say anything, didn’t even let out an annoyed sigh because he actually was never annoyed or mad at Harry. How could he?

But Harry seemed kinda off today and Louis was worried. The younger lad forgot half of the things he wanted to buy which led to Louis ringing around the store like a mad men. Harry smiled at him thankfully every time Louis said he would get something for the younger lad.

Harry leaned his head on the car window when they were done and had everything packed away in the trunk. He felt the whole dizzy and shaky and it just would get worse throughout the day. He noticed Louis concerned looks but he was fine.

He closed his eyes and hummed happily when he felt Louis‘ hand in his.

„We’re home Princess.“ Louis squeezed Harry’s hand, took the key out of the ignition and turned to him.

Harry slowly opened his eyes just to immediately squeeze them shut again because of the bright light from outside.

„C‘mon.“ Louis spoke softly and opened his door which led the cold air from outside in. Harry shuddered but followed Louis out of the car. When he stood up he got hit by dizziness and for a moment he saw black. Harry leaned on the car for a second rubbing his eyes.

„Are you sure you’re okay?“ Harry rolled his eyes because that was the millionth time that Louis asked him that and he was getting kind of annoyed.

„Yes I am. 'S just cold.“ Harry took the bags out of the trunk and Louis rolled his eyes this time but he didn’t say anything. He just took the bags that Harry left and walked ahead of the curly boy because he was walking rather slow.

Louis waited impatiently by the door stepping from one leg to the other. Harry’s hand was trembling when he tried to open the door. It took him several attempts to unlock the door. He walked past Harry when the door finally opened and Harry slowly walked behind him occasionally tripling over his own feet.

When they were in the flat Louis went into the kitchen and started unpacking Harry’s groceries. He noticed Harry behind him putting the backs one the kitchen floor.

"L-Lou?“ Harry’s voice was shaky. Louis hummed expecting Harry to keep on talking.

„Don’t feel good.“ Louis turned around to Harry in the right moment because the younger boy was paler then ever and stumbled forward into Louis arms who catched him with a huff.

„Princess?!“ Louis got Harry up into his arms, carrying him bridal style out of the kitchen on the couch were he carefully let him down. Harry was way easier to carry then he thought.

Louis started to freak out, not really knowing what he should do.

"Oh fuck that. Why didn’t you say something earlier? Why didn’t I do something.“ He carefully shook Harry but the younger boy didn’t wake up.

„Okay fuck. FuckFuckFuck.“ Louis got his phone out and called the first person he could think of.

„Hey Lou what’s-"

„Harry fainted. H-he... and I don’t know what to do. Fuck Zayn! What am I supposed to do with him?“ Louis was near a mental breakdown his hands shaking.

„What do you mean he fainted?“

„What the fuck Zayn what am I supposed to mean? He just broke down and got unconscious. I laid him on the couch. I don’t know what to do.“

„Okay Louis calm down mate. He’s probably just dehydrated or something just maybe call an ambulance and me and Li will meet you at the Hospital okay? But stay calm it won’t be anything serious. You hear me?“ Louis nodded.

„Yeah okay yeah. Fuck. I can do that.“ Louis rubbed his hand over his forehead and nodded again.

„Okay mate stay calm and then text me the address of the hospital. See ya. Everything’s gonna be fine.“

Zayn hung up and Louis called an ambulance.

*  
"How is he?“ Zayn and Liam rushed to Louis and they hugged each other.

„They are still checking him I wasn’t aloud to see him yet.“ The couple nodded and watched Louis how he paced around.

„It’s all my fault.“ Louis stopped and turned around facing the wall, his shoulders hanging low.

„What‘ya mean Louis?“ Zayn looked confused to his boyfriend who just shrugged with his shoulders.

"He was pale and shaky the whole day and I didn’t say anything and then he collapsed. I should’ve do something to help him before. I just kind of ignored it. Like I was concerned but didn’t think it’d that bad.“ Louis sighed exhausted.

„Lou it’s not your fault. Harry’s old enough to take care of himself. He should’ve said something or do something. There’s really nothing you could’ve done.“

But that’s the thing. Harry can’t take care of himself. Louis knows that Harry couldn’t care less about himself.

Zayn lead Louis to a chair and made him sit down. They weren’t the only on in the waiting room and Zayn noticed that the people got disturbed by Louis‘ ranting and pacing.

„I’m gonna get us some tea or  
something.“ Liam gave Zayn a quick kiss and the raven haired man sat down next to Louis.

„It’s gonna be fine Lou.“

*

When an nurse came in and said Harry’s name the three stood up and with them a blonde guy that Louis hadn’t noticed before.

„Which one of you is Niall Horan?“ Louis furrowed his brows when the blonde raised his hand and stepped forward. He knew the name well but he didn’t know what he would do here.

„You may see Mr. Styles now. He’s sleeping right now but he’s fine. He collapsed because of dehydration and starvation. He definitely needs to eat more. He’s underweight and maybe should consider going to a therapist or a maybe to a clinic but that’s a topic you can discuss when he’s awake.“ The nurse looked up again and Louis felt like throwing up.

He knew that Harry didn’t eat a lot but he didn’t think it’d be that bad. He felt ashamed that he didn’t notice it.

„Whoa hold up. Why is he aloud to see Harry? I was the one who brought him here!“ Louis crossed his arms over his chest when that Niall dude followed the nurse.

„Are you Family of Mr. Styles?“ The nurse looked too Niall who looked confused. He hadn’t seen Louis or Zayn or Liam before in his life.

„Well-" Louis just wanted to deny that when Zayn interrupted him.

“He’s his boyfriend.”

“Well I didn’t know that because Mr. Horan is his emergency contact.”

“I would know it if Harry had a boyfriend. I don’t know these guys and haven’t seen one of them around Harry before. I’m all he got he’s alone in London. Now if I please could see him.”

Louis scuffed while the nurse and that idiot walked away.

“That’s fucking bullshit. He and Harry haven’t done anything in ages. Harry doesn’t even like him and he’s an fucking idiot towards Harry! I need to see him!” Louis was mad. More then mad actually and he really wanted to punch something or rather someone right now.

“He doesn’t care about him. Not like I do.”

“I know Lou but there’s nothing we can do right now. Just stay calm and I try and do something about it. Li knock him out before he does something he’s gonna regret.” Liam chuckled but nodded. You never really know with Louis.

After 15 minutes Zayn came back smiling.

“You can see him Lou he’s in room 328.”

“How...?”

“Doesn’t matter now go cuddle your boyfriend.”

“Not my boyfriend.” He flipped Zayn off and walked as fast as he could to the room. When he found it he opened the door without knocking, not really feeling a need to do that.

“- should know better then that Harry. You’re not some fucking baby that can’t take care of himself. It’s like someone has to be around you twenty for seven or else you die. Keep it together and grow up!” Niall was standing in front of Harry screaming at him.

Harry who looked so small in this huge fucking bed, Harry who got anxiety when someone screamed at him and who could easily get a panic attack from loud noises. Harry who was crying and looking scared.

Louis didn’t need to hear anymore.

“Shut the fuck up you dick!”

Niall turned around to Louis and Harry’s eyes seemed to loose some of the anxiety when he saw him.

“ _Lou_!” It came more out as a whine as anything else and Harry started to sob.

“Who the hell are you?” Niall glared at Louis who walked further into the small  
Hospital room.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Harry who is that guy? Man you really can’t be left alone without getting in danger. I can’t always take care of you. I have a life as well y’know. I can’t keep up with your stuff anymore-“ Louis had enough.

“Don’t you dare talk to him like that you fucker.” Louis voice was hard and even though he was smaller than the Irish man he knew he was more intimidating. Harry was still crying and whimpering and Louis wanted nothing more then to wrap his arms around him and comfort him.

“Shut up that’s something between me and Harry you don’t know him like I do.”

“Yeah you’re right. Because I know him better. Because if you know Harry then tell me why are you screaming at him like that. He’s scared if you didn’t already notice. And if you know Harry so good and are his best friend as you put it then tell me we’re where you the last months? Why didn’t Harry tell you of me? If you were so important to him he would have probably tell you something. And if he would be so important to you you should have checked up on him. That’s what friends do. But you’re just some self centred idiot. You should leave before I punch you in your ugly face.”

Louis tried to make himself look taller. His chin high his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Harry!” Niall looked to Harry again but he just shook his head. He let out a quiet _I’m sorry_ under his breath and Niall laughed bitter.

“Well fuck you then but don’t come to me crying when he left you because he will. Because they all do don’t they Harry? You’re always alone.” Harry winced at the words and Niall left the room, slamming the door loudly which made Harry jump and he whimpered again.

Louis was immediately by Harry side pressing the younger boy to his chest.

“It’s okay I’m here Princess. Everything’s okay.” Louis tried to shush him by whispering reassuring words to Harry but he wouldn’t stop crying. His breathing got shorter and his heartbeat faster which led to nurses storming into the room. They ripped Louis away from Harry which scared the younger boy even more.

“No, _Louis_!” He tried to get away from the nurses who were holding him down with force.

Louis just stood there helpless and scared as hell.

A few moments later Harry was laying still, eyes closed and sleeping over his mouth an oxygen mask.

“He was hyperventilating so we sedated him. He’s gonna be out for a bit bu you can stay here if you want. You’re friends also asked for you. If you want I can send them here? It shouldn’t be a problem.”

Louis nodded, not really over everything that just happened.

“He can take the mask off when he’s awake. I’ll get your friends.”

He carefully made his way over to Harry again and took his cold hand. Slowly caressing over the knuckles with his thumb.

“Oh Princess. What am I gonna do with you?”  
He stroke the curls away of the younger boys forehead and traced his face features carefully.

Harry’s eyebrows were slightly furrowed and Louis carefully smoothed it out.

The door opened and Zayn and Liam came in. They quietly closed the door and Zayn pulled chairs from the wall.

Louis thankfully sat down.

“What’s up with him?” Liam looked concerned too Harry.

“That blonde guy that was here. Niall. He and Harry know each other from uni and he was Harry’s first friend when he got here. But he treats Harry like shit. When I came here he was screaming at Harry and- Harry has some problems and he can’t really deal when people scream at him. It’s just-“

“It’s okay you don’t have to explain.” Zayn spoke softly and Louis nodded.

“So he was screaming and Harry was scared. He sometimes has these panic attack when things get overwhelming or are too loud. He was crying and when I told that idiot to leave he kept on screaming at Harry. He was saying quite mean things and when he left I tried to comfort Harry but he just kept on working himself up and he was hyperventilating. Long story sort the nurses came in because of his heart monitor and they sedated him.”

“Poor kid.” Louis looked to Liam.

“It’s probably for the better. He needs some rest and his thoughts can sometimes be too much.”

His hand was still holding Harry’s when he woke up forty five minutes later. His eyes fluttered slowly open and he was nervously looking around until his eyes met blue. Blue blue blue.

“Hey Princess.” Louis smiled fondly and Harry immediately calmed down. It didn’t matter in that moment that Zayn and Liam were still very much in the room and that Zayn heard the nickname Louis gave Harry (Liam was asleep his head resting on Zayns shoulder).

“I’m gonna take this off okay?” Louis carefully got the mask off of Harry’s face.

Harry looked at his and Louis hands and gave a weak squeeze which Louis gave back.  
Zayn cleared his throat to make notice of himself and Harry tensed up for a short moment until he realised who was sitting on the other side of him.

“Hey mate. Good to see you again.” Zayn smiled at Harry which Harry did too.

“Are you okay?” Harry looked back to Louis who was looking concerned so he nodded.

He felt a little fuzzy and overwhelmed but Louis was here so he was fine.

Louis seemed to notice that Harry wouldn’t give any verbal response right now so he kept his questions easy.

“Do you want to drink something?” Harry shook his head no. He had an IV in his arm that kept him hydrated and he also felt like he couldn’t swallow anything right now.

“Should I call a nurse or a doctor? So they can check on you?” Harry shook his head this time harder and more anxiously.

“Okay we’re not going to do that. Probably enough docs and nurses for today, right?” Harry nodded thankfully and Louis smiled at him, his hands wandering to Harry’s hair.

Zayn watched the pair fondly, not daring to break their moment. He slowly nudged Liam awake who stirred and grumbled.

“C‘mon babe we’re gonna go.” Liam mumbled something that no one understood and Zayn rolled his eyes but gave Liam a kiss on his forehead before picking him up. Liams legs were around his hips and he carried Liam out like a toddler. The head of the boy in Zayns neck.

“We’re gonna check up on you two tomorrow. Take care kiddo.” Zayn winked and left the room.

“I’m sorry Princess. So fucking sorry for everything.” Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion not understanding what the blue eyed boy was talking about and it honestly felt hard to stay focused on Louis’ voice when he smelled so good and radiated this heat from his body and when those eyes were so blueblueblue.

Harry felt like drowning in them and he honestly didn’t mind. He could look at Louis eyes all day and not get bored. He’s sure he would find every shade of blue that exist in his eyes.

Louis noticed- because he honestly always noticed when it’s about Harry- that he couldn’t focus right now.

“We’re gonna talk tomorrow when you’re fit. Just know that I’m sorry.” Louis leaned forward and gave a kiss too Harry’s forehead.

“Now sleep Princess.” Harry tugged on Louis hand and looked up to him and then on the bed. It took a moment for Louis to catch on to what the boy wanted but he smiled when he did.

“You want me to sleep here?” Harry nodded and Louis chuckled.

“I’m gonna ask a nurse okay. Stay here.”

Louis detached himself from Harry and went out of the small room to find some nurse he could ask. Harry’s brain felt fuzzier with every passing minute and he noticed how he got very suddenly tired.

“They allowed it.” Louis climbed into Harry’s bed and the two of them cuddled closely together. Harry felt way more at ease with Louis’ heartbeat in his ear and his warmth surrounding him. He felt safe and content. It didn’t took long for him to fall asleep.

*

„So I talked to one of the nurses and they told me that you were allowed to leave after you’ve ate your breakfast.“ Harry looked mad at Louis words which made the older boy sigh.

„Please Harry. I know it’s hard okay? And I’ll promise we’ll work on it and I’ll help you through this but just try to make this as easy as possible for your own sake. Then we can leave and go home. Have a shower, cuddle and watch movies.“

Harry looked away from Louis and pouted.

Louis stepped closer and set down on Harry’s bed, facing him. He looked at the options Harry had and honestly he probably wouldn’t want to eat it as well.

„Maybe start with the fruit? You like fruit. Always tell me how important it is to get your vitamins.“

„Please Princess.“ Louis opened the plastic container for him and gave him the fork.

Harry’s hands were shaking when he fished a grape out of the container and he looked at Louis who nodded reassuringly.

He slowly took the fork in his mouth and it was then that Louis noticed the silent tears ringing down Harry’s face.

Harry hated it. He hated that he was now being watched if he would eat enough. He knew that he probably could never use „I’m not hungry“ as an excuse again. He hated that Louis probably was disappointed in him and also annoyed because Harry was a handful. And he hated himself in general. It was too much and fruit was the one of the only things he enjoyed eating but that wasn’t the case anymore.

Everything felt different now and Harry hated change. Couldn’t really cope with it and he knew that This would change a lot.

Louis was shocked when he saw Harrys tears and the inner fight the younger boy seemed to have. He didn’t knew it was that bad and he felt like an idiot for not noticing.

Because how did he not notice when him and Harry spent so much time together. Sure Harry ate way less then him but he didn’t thought it be that bad.

„Oh Princess stop crying You’re doing so good. 'M so proud of you.” Louis changed his position now sitting next Harry and holding his waist.

Harry shook his head. “Can’t Lou. I can’t.”

“Sure you can. Doing so good. I know you can. Be good for me.” And Louis didn’t want to play the card but he hoped that it would work.

Harry told him that he always wanted to be good for his ex boyfriend and that he called him a good boy and how Harry’s still wanted to be that.

“Good for you.” Harry mumbled Louis words and Louis hummed approvingly.

“Yeah that’s right Princess.” Louis caressed Harry’s hair and wiped away the tears that silently left Harry’s eyes. It took long but Harry finished the fruit container and Louis squeezed him tight.

“So good Princess. I’m so proud of you.” Harry leaned back into Louis chest still crying and Louis held him. It kind of broke Louis’ heart to see Harry like this but he would help him. He would help him through this.

On the table was still some disgustingly looking porridge and Louis didn’t have the heart to make Harry eat it. Not when he wouldn’t eat it himself.

“How about when we get home we’re gonna make you something you actually enjoy. Hmmm?” Louis rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder lightly rocking them from left to right.

Harry eyed the porridge and felt like throwing up so he quickly averted his gaze somewhere else.

“I’m not gonna make you eat that. It looks so disgusting that I wouldn’t eat it myself and I eat a lot of trash.” Harry relaxed a little bit by Louis’ words and nodded. He really didn’t want to eat it.

“Im gonna go check you out okay?” Harry nodded and Louis kissed the sight of his cheek before leaving the room.

Harry’s brain still felt fuzzy and he wasn’t himself right now. Louis could tell and it was okay. He would figure out how to treat Harry in his state and he would take care of him.

The younger boy was way clingier and way more focused on Louis then usual. Louis also quickly noticed how Harry seemed to only relax when Louis was touching him in some way. And this Harry wouldn’t talk a lot. Which wasn’t unusual for Harry because he already didn’t talk a lot but this Harry talked even less and when then not really full sentences. But that’s okay. But then nothing.

While Louis checked Harry out he also made sure to change his emergency contact to his number and the nurse gave him multiple flyers for people with eating disorders. They were guides or places for rehabilitation but Louis would never send Harry to one of these.

“Try to get him to eat three meals a day they can be small but make sure they have lots of carbs and protein. Here’s a list of things he need to get for his body to stay healthy. It’s also good if he always eats at the same time then it becomes a routine. If it helps him set a timer with him and plan the meals with him. We also got him some pills mostly vitamins and stuff that he needs to take in. Feel free to call every time when you have questions. Just to clarify, you’re sure that you can take care of him? He won’t make it alone I think.”

“Thank you and yes I am. And when I notice I don’t then I’ll get help. I just want what’s best for him.”

“Yeah, I can see that. You two are quite a cute pair.” Louis flushed and smiled.

“Thank you.” The nurse nodded and got back to her work while Louis made his way back to Harry. He put the flyer and pills in a bag that he got before he went into Harry’s room. He didn’t want to scare the younger boy anymore they would figure the rest out at Harry’s flat.

Harry’s eyes and nose were still red and puffy which gave him a cute and innocent touch.

“Are you ready to go home?” Louis tried to make things sound more exciting then they were which was stupid but it just happened.

Harry nodded and let Louis manhandle him into his jacket, scarf and gloves.

“All ready, now let’s go.” Louis helped Harry to stand up and they walked, Louis’ hand intertwined with Harry’s. He led them to his car and helped Harry get in. He quickly walked around and turned the heater on its highest.

Christmas music was quietly playing out of the radio and Louis didn’t let go of Harry’s hand once.

“Feels good too be home again right Princess?”

“Yeah.” Harry breathed out and Louis opened his jacket for him and helped him out of it. Harry just let Louis move him around how he liked and Louis chuckled.

He pulled Harry into the kitchen and looked up to the younger boy.

“So what are we feeling for breakfast?”

Harry shrugged he didn’t want anything just wanted to hide in his bed under his sheets. Maybe cuddle with Louis.

“How about some yogurt with cereal in it? And if you’d like some more fruit? We brought strawberries yesterday.”

“Uhm...sure.“ Louis quickly got to work, moving around Harry who didn’t move from his place. He watched Louis and Louis couldn’t tell of it was because he wanted to control what he did or if he just wanted to make sure he didn’t magically disappear. Either way he didn’t say anything just tried to make the food as fast as he could.

He made two bowls one for himself and one for Harry. He put Harry’s in a bigger bowl then his so that it would look like he had less then Louis. He hoped that it would and that Harry would fall for it because he didn’t say anything when Louis handed him the bowl.

„Where do you wanna eat? Here or on the couch?“

Harry thought for a second.

„Couch please.“ Louis nodded and offered Harry his hand which he gladly took.

„Can-can I sit between your legs?“ Harry looked to the floor cheeks glowing red.

„Of course Princess, anything you want.“ Louis smiled and sat down before spreading his legs and petting the space he created.

„Thank you.“ He made himself comfortable, sitting sideways, his legs propped up over one of Louis‘ as he carefully leaning against his chest.

Harry stirred his bowl for a while and Louis silently watched. Louis carefully wrapped his hand around the younger boys wrist.

„I think it’s stirred enough don’t you?“ Harry stopped his movements and nodded after a few seconds went by.

„Try it for me please? You know I’m not a good cook and I want to know if it’s actually edible.“

Harry scooped a small spoon up, hands already shaking as he brought the spoon to his mouth where it came to a halt.

Louis rubbed his lower back in circles trying to comfort him. Harry stared at the spoon for a while, tears already forming in his eyes.

He lowered the spoon. And looked at Louis, his lips quivering. He started to shake his head, and sniffled.

„C‘mon Princess. I believe in you. I know you can do it. You did so good earlier I was so proud of you. Show me how good you can  
be.“ Harry took a deep breath before he started to lift the spoon up again. Louis scooped something on his spoon as well doing the same movements as Harry and that kind of seemed to help. He put the spoon in his mouth, chewing it a long time before swallowing.

“Very good Princess, so Good. I’m so proud of you.”

That went on for a long time it took them an eternity to finish the bowl but they did and Louis was proud of Harry and tried to show him in every way.

Harry currently took a shower and Louis hated that he wasn’t trusting Harry to not do anything stupid right now but the younger boy came out looking fresh an smelling sweet and also very much unharmed and alive and Louis smiled at him.

“C’mere.” Louis patted the place next to him but Harry apparently had other plans and sat down in Louis legs again. The older boy chuckled and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist. The younger boy leaned back, hiding his face in the crook of Louis neck. His warm breath sending shivers down his spine.

He rocked them again and noticed how Harry got sleepy.

“We need to talk a bit before you fall asleep.” Harry hummed questionably.

“You know how I told you I was sorry yesterday?” Louis felt how Harry nodded.

“I am, because I didn’t help you soon enough and I ignored how bad you were feeling yesterday. And you know I always thought you ate less then other or me but I didn’t thought that much about it and I kinda feel bad. I wished I could’ve helped you sooner.“ Louis sighed and nuzzled into Harry’s hair.

“‘s really not your fault. Was like this since before you knew me. Always told me I was fat and ugly and you know you start to believe things when they come from the one person you love the most. And also the only person you really talk to. So I ate less. Didn’t thought much about it. He sometimes even forbid me to eat. When I was behaving bed. He would lock me up. Sometimes for days only giving me water.“  
Harry mumbled against Louis neck and Louis had to try his hardest to stay calm.

„He did what?“ Harry shrugged his shoulders as if it were nothing.

„He’s a monster Princess.“ That guy broke Harry and Louis was at a Point where he wasn’t sure if Harry could be saved as well as if he wanted to be saved.

He didn’t say anything just held Harry tight to his chest, letting the tears that came out of his eyes silently fall into Harry’s hair.

Harry fell asleep and Louis just held him tight. Harry deserved the world. He really did. And Louis wished he could give it to him, wanted him to feel nothing but happiness and love and that was something Louis could give Harry. Love and comfort and happiness.

It hit him right then and there that he loved Harry and he wasn’t sure if it was good or bad but he had to eventually figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments. xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, gals and non binary pals ;)
> 
> Another chapter and i have no idea where this story goes. Like i have an idea for what could happen but like idk if I want that to happen you feel me? 
> 
> Also there's a little bit of smut in this chapter (if you even can call it that lol) and all I'm saying that I've never wrote anything close to smut so it probably sucks (No pun intended) 
> 
> ENJOY THE CHAPTER

It was hard for the two of them to get into a routine and it was hard for Louis to get Harry to eat. He managed but it often left Harry in tears.

Christmas was in two days. London was layered with snow and Louis was practically living with Harry. Most of his clothes were there and apart from truly enjoying Harry’s presence he couldn’t let him alone. When Harry needed to go to work or university Louis would drive him and pick him up.

He just waited for the moment where Harry would snap at him and tell him it would be too much. That Louis was too invasive that he should let him the fuck alone and when that would happen Louis would probably let him.

But it hasn’t happen yet and he doesn’t know if it is because Harry truly didn’t mind, was to anxious too snap at Louis like that or simply just to nice. He couldn’t tell. They both were free over the holidays and when Louis told Harry that he would stay here and not drive down to Donny, Harry cried. He had a complete breakdown.

Louis told him once or twice how excited he was for Christmas and Harry also knew that Louis loved his family but it was his decision. Louis tried to calm Harry down, told him that it’d be fine but Harry just shook his head and then started to apologize.

Louis shushed him and the younger boy eventually had worn himself out so much that he fell asleep immediately. Louis was glad for these moments where Harry would sleep calmly. Without any nightmares or bad thoughts.

Louis felt lost. He wanted to help Harry but his condition just seemed to get worse. No matter what he did.

Harry started to gain weight though. And that was the only thing that made Louis keep to force Harry to eat. The only thing that hadn’t made him throw everything away. Because there was progress. It felt wrong. So fucking wrong because Harry hated it but he never was mad at Louis. Louis thought that Harry would start to hate him but that also hasn’t happened yet.

Because even though Harry couldn’t really think straight at the moment he knew that Louis only wanted his best and that it was hard for Louis as well. And Harry lived for the attention and love Louis gave him. He never experienced this much affection.

They were currently decorating the Christmas tree Louis got for Harry and it was the first time since the whole incident that Harry genuinely smiled. All dimples and with glowing eyes.

Christmas music was playing in the background it was warm and cozy.

When they were done Harry stepped back, mustering the tree. It was a small one and it was full of ornaments in every color of the rainbow. They also didn’t skimp on tinsel. A long fairy light was wrapped around the tree.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry from behind and tested his head on the younger boys shoulder. Harry leaned back humming approvingly of their work and they just stood there admiring the tree. It was quite ugly if they were being honest but that made them love it even more.

The older boy wanted to savour this moment and live in it forever. It was a perfect bubble and he never wanted to step out of it. Right now they both felt content at happy and Louis couldn’t ask for anything else.

“Tomorrow is your birthday day.”

“Yeah. ‘M getting old and cranky.” Harry laughed and shook his head.

“You’re not cranky Lou.”

“Oi but old?” Louis squeezed Harry’s side which made the boy giggle and squirm away from him.

“Never said that grandpa.” Louis faked gasped.

“Watch your mouth youngling. Show some respect!” Louis had Harry in a tight grip and tickled him. There was now way out. Even though Harry was taller, Louis was still stronger. They stumbled backwards and fell on the couch, Louis on top of Harry holding his wrist above his heads with one hand, the other hand still tickling him.

Harry giggled and squirmed and Louis felt _sofuckinghappy_.

“I’ll take it back! Please Lou, _Please_.”

“So you surrender? Say that I’m not old and the best looking and most handsome guy you’ve ever met!” Harry busted out laughing and shook his head. Curls flying everywhere. His cheeks red from the warmth.

Louis now had both his wrists pinned next to his head and looked down to Harry.

“Say it Princess.” Louis leaned down further, his breath hitting Harry’s cheek and their noses almost touching.

“You’re not old and the best looking and most handsome guy I’ve ever met.” It was nothing above a whisper and Harry’s eyes fluttered up to look into Louis.

Green meeting blue.

Louis leaned down further their noses really touching and Harry’s breath hitched.

They didn’t once blinked away and Louis just thought _fuck it_ and closed the last space between the two of them pressing his lips on Harry’s.

They stayed like that for a beat before their lips found a rhythm, moving against each other. Harry’s lips were plumb and felt nice against Louis’. The kiss was sloppy and everything but perfect but still more then Louis or Harry ever could’ve imagined.

They parted for a moment to catch their breath and when Louis opened his eyes, Harry’s where still closed, his lips swollen and cheeks flushed. He let go of Harry’s wrist and cupped his cheeks before he leaned down again and started to kiss the younger boy.

Harry immediately kissed back and Louis swiped his tongue over Harry’s lips who opened them for Louis. There tongues met and while Louis won the small fight over dominance his hands moved up into Harry’s hair. He tugged on it lightly which made Harry let out a moan.

Harry’s hands were around Louis neck, moving down to his shoulders.

Louis occasionally tugged Harry’s hair just to hear him moan and at one point they started grinding against each other. Both boys hard by now.

Louis left hand moved down Harry’s side he supported his weight with his right arm whose hand was still in Harry’s curls.

When he moved to the waistband of Harry’s leggings he switched his position so that he could pull them down. He linked his fingers in the waistband when Harry found out what he was up to he broke their kiss and grabbed Louis arms.

His eyes were big and he looked scared up to Louis shaking his head.

“No...no...no, Please. Not yet- 'm sorry.” Harry looked down and Louis tucked his index finger under Harry’s chin.

“Nothing to be sorry for Princess. I understand and we don’t have to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. We can just kiss if that’s what you want.”

“ _Please_.” And honestly who was Louis to say no to that.

He attached their lips again carefully pushing Harry down. They started grinding again and Louis intertwined his hands with Harry, holding them over his head.

“This Okay?” He was kind of breathless asking it against Harry’s lips though he didn’t stop the grinding because Harry didn’t either. The younger boy nodded.

“Words please Princess.” He needed to make sure that Harry was really okay with it.

“Yeah, ‘s good.” Louis pressed his knee against Harry which made him moan again, louder this time and rub himself harder against Louis.

It was like being a teenager again. When you were still inexperienced and just started to figure everything out. But Louis was okay with it because Harry grinding against his knee was honestly one of the hottest things he ever experienced and he felt like he could come just from watching it.

Harry’s muscle tensed before he came in his leggings with a loud moan and a Louis and that was even hotter. His eyes rolled back and he was curving his back. Harry fell back was a quiet thump of the couch. His eyes fluttering close and his breathing heavy. His hands were still intertwined with Louis and a content smile grew on his face.

He hadn’t felt like that in ages. He wanked occasionally in the shower but it was more something he had to do then something he did to enjoy himself. He hadn’t really good experience with the whole sex topic so it was nice to actually enjoy an orgasm.

Louis watched Harry come down from his high and smiled at him fondly when he saw the green eyes looking up to him. Harry turned his voice, wanting to hide it in his hands which wasn’t possible due to Louis still holding them. So turning his head away was all he could do right now.

Louis catches up with his train of thoughts and laughed.

“Nothing to be embarrassed for Princess.” He turned Harry’s head and cupped his cheeks. He leaned down again kissing Harry because he could. Because Harry kissed him back. Because he couldn’t feel happier right now.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick and you can change yourself alright?” Harry looked down to Louis crotch were there was still a very prominent bulge.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry. I-if you want I-I can-“

“It’s alright curly. This was about you.” Louis got up, and quickly went to the bathroom not able to hide the big smile that was spreading on his face.

It didn’t take long for him. He stepped out of the bathroom at the same time as Harry stepped out of his bedroom now wearing purple leggings instead of green. Harry had these leggings in every color possible.

Harry’s lips were still swollen and in a nice cherry tone but Louis didn’t look any different from him.

They made their way to the couch again, Louis turning on the tv swapping to some random sitcom which he put on low volume.

“You’re still okay with Zee and Li coming over tomorrow.”

“Of course I am. It’s your birthday. They’re your best friends. Do whatever you want.” Harry smiled honestly at him.

“Yeah but it’s your flat and I want you to feel safe in your flat. Also last time someone came over, you almost had a heart attack.”

“I do, especially when you’re here and I like Zayn and Liam. It’s gonna be fine. You didn’t judge me and if they do then I don’t know what I’ll do but- it’s fine. You’re here.” Louis smiled.

“Thank you Princess. They like you too y’know. They think that you’re cute.” Harry blushed and started to make some tea.

He put the cups on the coffee table and made himself comfortable in Louis' lap. It should be odd that Harry was the one that always sat in Louis lap but Harry had a talent for making himself look so small and he somehow manages to always fit in Louis’ lap.

Since the first day Harry came out of the hospital he kind of refused to sit anywhere but in Louis’ lap or between his legs. Louis honestly loved it. Loved to have him close. Loved it even more now after the current events.

He wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist, crossing them on his tummy. Harry hummed and put his head in Louis shoulder. Louis turned his head and kissed Harry’s cheek.

The younger boy closed his eyes and smiled, letting his dimples pop out. Louis nuzzled Harry’s cheek which made him giggle softly. Harry’s skin was soft. Everything about Harry was soft if he was honest.

“Lou?” Louis hummed waiting for Harry to keep on talking.

“What- what does that mean now? Like with us?”

Well if it would go Louis way he would want Harry to be his boyfriend but he didn’t really knew how Harry felt about it as a whole and Harry’s feelings were more important in this situation.

“What do you want it to mean, Princess?” Louis turned Harry around in his lap, the boy easily letting Louis manhandle him, until he was facing Louis, straddling his lap.

Harry took a few moments to collect his thoughts.

“I like you. A lot actually and I- You’re the first person that makes me feel happy and safe. I need you Lou and I can’t imagine a life without you. You’re everything i have but all I need.” Harry’s eyes were focused on Louis’ chest.

“Look at me Princess.” Harry slowly looked up and relaxed a little when he saw Louis smile.

“I also like you a lot Princess. Have liked you since I met you at that stupid party. And I think that you’re very cute. Wouldn’t want you out of my life. You make me happy y’know. In a different way. Love to take care of you and make you happy.”

Harry beamed at Louis words and the older boy intertwined their hands.

“So are we like...boyfriend and boyfriend?”

“Whatever you want Princess. If you want to take things slow then I’m totally fine with that. We’re doing this in your pace. If something makes you uncomfortable or overwhelms you just tell me. I’m here to listen and I’ll make sure that you’re feeling safe. That’s what’s most important okay? No matter what it is I need you to talk with me about it okay? I won’t make you do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“I’m fine with being your boyfriend. And I want you to tell too. When something- something is too much. Or well what you said.”

Louis chuckled but nodded. “Yeah I can do that. I like that. Being able to call you my boyfriend.”

“Yeah I like that too.” Harry blushed and looked down to their hands slightly swaying them around.

“Still my Princess though.” He stroke Harry’s curls behind his ears and cupped his cheeks, pulling him towards him.

“And I can kiss you whenever I want.” He leaned forward and attached his lips to Harry’s. It was a slow and passionate kiss. Louis hands wandered down to Harry’s love handles, he squeezed them which made Harry moan.

Louis slipped his hands under Harry’s jumper and rubbed circles with his thumb on the bare skin. Goosebumps started to form on the skin and Louis loved the reaction Harry had because of him.

He stopped the kiss when he noticed that they both got half hard again. Harry moved his hand into the crook of Louis neck wrapping his arms around him as well. Louis hugged him back and stroke his curls. Harry’s breathing slowed down until he fell asleep in the koala position.

Louis was always confused about Harry being able to literally fall asleep everywhere and in every position imaginable. It was both cute and funny.

He leaned his head back against the cushion and started to slowly drift away.

*

“Happy birthday Lou.” Harry smiled softly up at Louis. His cheeks tinted red and eyes glowing even though he just woke up.

“Thank you Princess.” Louis leaned towards Harry and kissed him and it honestly should be gross because they both have just woken up and have morning breath but they both couldn’t care less.

It took them some time to finally make it out of the bed. Not really feeling up to stop kissing.

Louis showered while Harry promised I’m too make him breakfast since he was the birthday boy. When Louis stepped out of the shower, freshly shaved and just in his joggers he eyed the table. Harry had cut fruit and was currently making scrambled eggs with bacon.

“That looks delicious Princess. I’m starving.” Louis went up to Harry and kissed him on the cheek, Harry happily leaning into his touch.

They ate together, slow as usual and even though Louis was really hungry he made sure to take each bite with Harry. He didn’t understand why it helped Harry but it did and he didn’t really care as long as it helped.

“Proud of you for finishing your food. You did so good.” Louis kissed Harry’s curls and the younger boy beamed in the praise he got.

They started to clean up the kitchen, even though Harry protested but Louis just shushed him and dried the dishes.

They joked around for a while talking about everything and nothing.

“I’ve got you a present Lou.” Harry stood up from his place between Louis lap and leaved the room shortly just to come back with a black bag. Louis raised his eyebrows not really expecting a present.

“‘s just something small. If you don’t like it that’s okay I can return it.” Harry handed the bag over to Louis who smiled at him.

“Thank you Princess but you really wouldn’t have to get me anything.” Harry shrugged.

The thing is Louis was all pro presents but he knew that Harry was on a budget, that the younger boy just had enough money to make it through the month. That there wasn’t much space for luxury articles and that everything he had left at the end of the month went into his savings. Harry was hard working an Louis didn’t want him to spend money on him.

He carefully unwrapped the small box that he pulled out of the bag. In the box’s were two wristbands, one with black pearls and one white and the other with all white pearls except for one black.

“They’re like friendship bracelets or boyfriend bracelet now.” Harry cleared his throat and watched Louis with big eyes.

“I love them Princess. Thank you so much.” He kissed Harry, not really used to it by now, still feeling butterflies all over his stomach and Harry hummed happily into the kiss.

“Which one do you want?” Harry shrugged.

“You choose, they’re yours.” Louis looked at them for a while before taking the white one and attaching it to Harry’s wrist. The black one he put on himself.

“Now, when we’re holding hands, they line up.” Harry blushed when Louis kissed the top of the bracelet. He intertwined their hands and Harry stared with sparkling eyes at their wrists. Louis couldn’t be happier.

*

“No Lou, that’s way too much!” They were currently baking brownies for later when Zayn and Liam would visit them. Harry scolded Louis the whole time because apparently he does everything wrong. Right now it was too much sugar.

“How can there be too much sugar? The sweeter the better!” Harry frowned and scooped some of the sugar out with a spoon.

“‘S not gonna taste good when it’s too sweet. The icing is already pretty sweet and also sugar is not healthy.” Louis rolled his eyes which made Harry glare at him.

“I’m sorry Princess, please don’t be mad.” Louis sighed over dramatically and got up in the counter.

“Just want it to be perfect for you.” Louis smiled and watched Harry mixing the batter.

“I know and you know that I can’t cook for shit-"

“It’s baking.“

“Same thing innit?”

“No, ‘s not.” Louis shrugged.

“It kinda is the same and I can’t do either and you know that.”

“You would die without me.” Harry put the batter into a cake tin scooping everything out. “‘Would not, Zayn would take pity on me and feed me and you can’t forget about takeaway. I’d get around just fine. But I do admit that I would miss your cooking.”

Food and anything around it was a sensitive topic right now but Louis had a feeling it would get better now. Harry’s smile hadn’t left his face since yesterday and both boys felt tingly and _sofuckinghappy_.

They would make small progress and even something like talking about food or Harry actually preparing food was a big step. In the past week he wouldn’t make an effort to even get near the kitchen it was all up to Louis.

Maybe it was something like a Christmas miracle but Louis didn’t want to jinx anything yet. He still hoped that it would go upwards from now on. Wanted it for Harry because he wanted him to be happy at all times.

Harry just hummed as a response, putting the brownies in the oven and turning around to Louis. The older boy pulled him closer by his waist and locked his ankles behind him so that he couldn’t escape.

He cupped Harry’s cheeks before squeezing them together and moving them around. Harry looked like a hedgehog with pouty lips and Louis kind of loved doing that because Harry was soft and cute and he also did it because Harry didn’t complain just stood still and watched Louis.

“You’re way too cute princess.” Louis decided to speak his thought not finding a reason to not tell the younger boy.

“‘M not.” Louis rolled his eyes and pulled him forward to press their lips together. Harry moved his lips in sync with Louis, his hands resting on Louis thigh tracing patterns.

Louis leaned back a little, breaking the kiss, his hands still holding Harry’s face whose eyes were still closed. Louis ran his thumb over Harry’s bottom lip which made the younger boy look up at him.

A soft smile spread on Harry’s lips. Everything was different with Louis and it was so much better then he could’ve imagined. It’s still felt like a dream.

They just stared at each other for a while, still standing close, Louis ankles still locked behind Harry and both boys just in their own thoughts. Happy thoughts.

The pair got disturbed by the oven beeping, telling them that the Brownies were done.

“Lemme get them out. Don’t want you hurting yourself.” Harry scoffed at that but still let Louis hop off the counter and get the brownies out.

He honestly didn’t mind because he had gotten enough burns from oven in his life and he was quite clumsy so it’s probably for the better that Louis did it.

“Smells good.” Louis states and Harry nodded, proud of his work.

“Liam and Zayn are gonna be here in the next hour or so. Do you want to tell them? That were together now?” Louis looked to Harry and watched his reaction trying to read his thought. He had to admit it felt a little foreign to say that but it also felt good and made Louis feel warm.

“Uhm... I- I guess it’s your decision right? Since they’re your friends.”

“Well no, it’s not. You have as much of a saying in this as I do. I don’t really care, I don’t mind either way just tell me what you prefer.”

Harry thought about it for a while before meeting Louis eyes again.

“We can tell them if that’s okay with you?” Louis grew a big smile happy at the younger boys words and he nodded.

When Zayn and Liam arrived they congratulated Louis and gave him his presents. Louis opening them and thanking them happily.

They ate the brownies, Harry just trying something from Louis (it was okay because he already had two meals today and Louis wouldn’t force him to eat more then he needed.) and chatted about everything, talking about their childhood or Zayn telling embarrassing story’s about Louis.

Harry smiled and laughed at the story’s, he was sitting sideways between Louis legs, cuddled up to him with his head resting on the birthday boys chest. Louis had his chin atop of Harry’s curls one of his arms laying around Harry’s tummy the other in his curls.

Their faces were red and glowing from all the laughing and teasing they had and Louis thinks that this was his best birthday yet.

He was happy to see Harry being so happy and open with his two best friends and he could see how they adored Harry as well. They watched him fondly and Louis squeezed the younger boy tighter to his chest.

Not because he’s jealous or anything. That would be just silly and childish especially since Zayn and Liam already are in a relationship. He’s _not_ jealous.

“Zee, Lima there was something we wanted to tell you.” Louis broke the comfortable silence that they were in right now and cleared his throat.

“Me and Harry are together now. We talked yesterday and yeah...” Harry got tense in his arms, not really knowing what reactions they would get from the couple in front of them.

“Yesterday? Mate I thought you two already came clear after the hospital. I thought you were already fucking. Didn’t thought it would take this long for you two to get the obvious. But I’m happy for you. Couldn’t imagine a better couple.”

“Heeeeey what about us?” Liam furrowed his brows and looked at Zayn lightly hitting his chest.

“Li seriously have you seen them? We couldn’t even if we tried. I love you but no way in hell are we as cute as these two.”

Harry’s face was easily comparable with a tomato and he hid his face in Louis neck. The older boy chuckled softly at his friends and his _boyfriend_ and kissed the top of Harry’s curls.

“You owe me twenty by the way.” Louis furrowed his brows as Liam got his wallet out and handed Zayn twenty pound.

“We had a bet going on. I said you’re going to get together before New Year’s Eve and Liam said you would come together after New Year’s Eve. I obviously won.”Zayn stated after seeing the confused look on Louis' face.

“What the fuck?!” Louis frowned but Zayn just shrugged his shoulders and leaned back. Harry watched the scenario quietly not really sure how to feel about the whole situation.

“What? It was just a matter of time until you would land in each other’s pants. Took you long enough already.” Louis flipped Zayn, knowing that he was just joking.

Harry didn’t seem to realise that, Louis noticed how he tensed up again.

“He’s just joking, Princess don’t take it serious.” He mumbled quietly so that only Harry was able to hear him.

Harry let out a humph, not really believing his words but he didn’t say anything.

The evening went by, all of them except for Harry starting to sip on beer at one point and they just kept on talking and joking.

For Harry it was somehow blurry and he started to get tired in Louis hold but didn’t want to seem rude and fall asleep so he forced his eyes to stay open which was easier said than done.

His eyes were watery, something that always happened when he got really tired and they started to get droopy, occasionally falling shut.

Louis noticed when Harry jolted awake after he fell asleep and laughed.

“Tired very much Princess?“ Harry shook his head no, a yawn exposing him though.

“Sure. You can sleep. Neither of us mind. You wanna go to bed?”

“Stay here with you.” Louis nodded and pressed a kiss to Harry’s forehead.

“Okay. Sleep well princess.” Harry mumbled something incoherently that Louis didn’t really understood so he just nodded and caressed Harry’s curl which comforted him.

He was quickly asleep, his warm breath hitting Louis chest.

“You know, I never saw you like that. The way you treat him. You’re so careful and patient with him, always making sure that he’s okay. Always protecting him. He made you a real softie Tommo.” Zayn said quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping boy.

Louis smiled at that softly. “Yeah, he’s... he’s different y’know? I just want to make sure he’s safe and happy. He’s soft and fluffy and he needs to be in surrounds, that are just as fluffy and soft and I managed to create that for him.“

“You’re so whipped mate it’s honestly disgusting.” Louis flipped Liam off.

“You’re just as whipped with Zayn. Honestly he could tell you to murder someone for him and you’d do it. It’s kinda the same.”

“I wouldn’t murder someone for Zayn that’s-“

“You would babe. Don’t lie to yourself and I would do the same.” Zayn interrupted him and Liam sighed. He probably would.

They kept on teasing each other and after a while Liam got tired and then Zayn and then Louis.

“You guys can sleep here if you want. It would be on the couch since he doesn’t have a guest room but Harry wouldn’t mind.”

“No it’s fine we need to get out early tomorrow, we’re visiting Li’s family but thanks.” They both fist bumped Louis since they weren’t able to hug him and made their way out of the flat.

“Tell Harry bye from us and don’t tell him that but he’s cute and can be really cheeky he shouldn’t be so shy.” Louis nodded. Harry could be funny and teasing and cheeky but his anxiety got the better of him.

“Drive safely and text me all the drama.”

“Will do, take care.”

They left the flat and Louis stayed on his place a while, Harry still sleeping. He let the day replay in his head and a happy smile was spread on his cheek. It was a good day. A wonderful day and Louis hoped the future would hold more of these days.

He carefully got up from the couch and carried Harry into his bed. Tucking him in. The younger boy stirred a bit in his sleep and moved around until his breathing evened out an he was fully asleep again.

Louis let it a breath he didn’t knew he was holding, not wanting to disturb he boy. He left the door ajar and started to clean up the living room, starting to put the dishes in the sink and throw the bottles away. He shook the couch cushions out and placed them in the way Harry liked it and then he threw away all the wrapping paper. At last he turned off all the fairy lights that were still on. Proud of his work he went to the bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth and getting himself ready for bed.

When he laid down, Harry immediately curled up to him like a magnet and Louis smiled and kissed the younger boys nose tip.

“Lou?” It was a very quiet mumble and Louis wasn’t sure if he was awake or dreaming. It wasn’t unusual for Harry to talk in his sleep. He just hummed softly back and stroke Harry’s back.

“Was it Good? Good birthday?” Louis chuckled at Harry’s half awake, half asleep state.

“Yeah very good. Thank you princess.” “‘S fine. Jus’ wan’ you happy.”

“I am. I am Princess. Got you after all don’t I?”

“‘M not enough though.” Louis heart just broke.

“Oh but you are Princess. More than enough. Wouldn’t want anyone else. Just you.” “Wan’ also jus’ you.” Harry’s words were more and more slurred together but Louis managed to understand him nevertheless.

“Be Good and sleep now.” Harry hummed and was immediately knocked out after that, Louis not far behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about the story xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch me fail in writing smut. 
> 
> I DONT WRITE SMUT

The rest of the year was spent with lots of cuddling and kissing, mumbling sweet nothings to each other and so much kissing. 

New Year’s Eve was spent with Liam and Zayn neither of the four feeling up to party, though Liam did get quite drunk.

It was January, London looked like shit with all the rain that ruined the snow and everything was grey and felt dull.

Well except for Harry and Louis. They were as happy as ever, glowing in all the love that was shared between them. Louis felt as if his chest would explode when he looked at the tall boy with curly hair and did he mention the dimples?

Harry wasn’t better. Every time he looked into these blue blue blue eyes, it felt like the world would come into a stop. He never experienced someone caring so much for him like Louis would and it be a lie if he said he didn’t love it. Louis meant safeness and comfort. Something Harry hadn’t felt in years. He knew that there wasn’t a thing that Louis would judge him for, that he would always listen to Harry and be there for him in the way he needed it.

The older boy loved taking care of the younger boy and the younger boy loved being cared for.

When they weren’t occupied with university they spend every single minute together, not like they haven’t before but now there were kisses and love bites included. 

Love bites were something Louis genuinely enjoyed giving the other boy. Harry was like melted wax as soon as Louis was on top of him, his eyebrows knitted together and eyes shut. Soft moans escaping his plumb lips when Louis mouth travels over his collar bones, leaving a wet stripe before sucking on it.

He lived for it. Loved how Harry got so pliant underneath him. 

They didn’t went further though. Louis almost gave Harry a blowjob. It was a few days after the New Year’s Eve, they were both stripped down to there boxers, Louis lips tracing down Harry’s tummy, leaving wet kisses. The younger boy panting, his hands in Louis hair not doing anything just holding them there.

The moment Louis fingers grabbed the waistband of Harry’s boxers, to pull them down it was like a switch was flipped inside of him. The younger boy suddenly yanked away from Louis, tears in his eyes and his curls frantically shaking from one side to the other.

He was  _ begging _ to be left alone and Louis felt so lost in this Moment. He had no idea what exactly it was that made Harry freak out until he heard the words  _ wanna be a good boy, please don’t hurt me I‘m sorry _ and he connected the dots.

He grabbed the nearest Jumper and threw it over to not scare the startled boy anymore and carefully hugged Harry to his chest. Whispering him reassuring words and shushing him when loud sobs escaped his lips. 

„I’m not him princess. Just me okay? Not gonna hurt you.“ He rocked them back and forth, brushing the curls that fell down out of Harry’s face. Now and then shushing him again telling him  _ it’s fine  _ and  _ you’re okay Princess _ .

Harry’s hands where gripping Louis jumper tightly his head resting in the crook of the older mans neck. Physical touch was always something that grounded Harry which was confusing to Louis due to his backstory but he didn’t question it. 

They stayed like that for a while, Louis throwing a blanket over them when he noticed Harry’s shivering. Eventually Harry’s sobbing and crying subsided which left him feeling guilty.

“‘m...’m so sorry Lou. D-didn’t-“

“Shhh it’s fine. Nothing to apologise there.” He kissed his temple, his lips staying there a few moments.

It was a lot to handle at some times and there were moments where Louis had no clue how to help Harry and Harry also didn’t know what would help him but they would figure it out.

He didn’t mind that side of Harry just wished that the younger boy wouldn’t have so many struggles to deal with because he sometimes saw that glimpse of how he imagined Harry to be when he was younger.

Bubbly and always happy, smiling with his dimples and seeing the good in everything. He saw glimpses of the cheeky and teasing side of Harry and it always broke his heart when he notice how he would say something and make himself small after that. Scared that he had said something wrong, something that would make Louis (or on occasion Zayn and Liam) mad.

That obviously would never happen but he couldn’t help it.

Louis notices it though and always makes sure to tell the boy that he didn’t do anything wrong. It would get better over times.

So yeah that was the story of the almost blowjob.

It was fine though. Louis had no problem with waiting. They went back to rubbing and dry humping against each other which did happen more often then Louis liked to admit.

Apart from that January went by in a flash. They spent most their time in Harry’s flat binge watching series. 

Harry basically forced Louis to visit his family in February. It took a lot of discussion and persuading from Harry’s side, assuring Louis that he would survive a few days without him.

He wasn’t a baby after all and that’s what he told Louis which made the older boy sigh.

“I know that you’re not a baby Princess but... I just don’t want you to be alone.” Harry rolled his eyes. 

“It’s gonna be fine Lou. I promise.”

“You can come with me you know?” Louis looked down at Harry, who had his head currently in his lap. 

“Yeah i know but you haven’t seen them in so long and I would just feel intrusive.”

“We’re gonna call everyday and send Zayn over so he can check on you.”

“Lou ‘m not a fucking cat. Zayn doesn’t need to check up on me.”

Thing is, Louis was hella scared to leave Harry alone. Sure his eating habits got better but he didn’t trust him. Not on this topic. His concern was written all over his face but he couldn’t tell Harry that he didn’t trust him. It would make him a shit of a boyfriend. 

“You miss your siblings and from what I can tell you’re the biggest mama’s boy in history.”

Louis let out a long breath.

“Last time you cried because I didn’t go and now you want me to go. Doesn’t make sense princess.” Louis voice was teasingly and Harry rolled his eyes.

“You’re an idiot Lou. I promise to call and text you at every time of the day but please just go. I know you need it.”

And yeah that was true. He missed his family so fucking much. Hasn’t seen them in so long and it hurt.

“Okay but don’t do anything stupid. You need to promise me to take care of yourself and be good.” 

The words  _you need to eat at least two full meals a day_ weren’t spoken but Louis hoped that Harry would read between the lines and understand what Louis really wants from him.

“I will.” Harry smiled at him, cheeks blushing for no apparent reason. 

*

When Harry’s birthday rolled around Louis really wanted to do something great for him. 

Harry agreed that Zayn and Liam could come around which made Louis feel proud. The green eyes boy warmed more and more up around his two best friends and he knew for a fact that Zayn and Liam were very fond of Harry.

Louis also asked if the younger boy wanted Niall around. He wasn’t really a fan of the Irish and he also wasn’t a topic that he and Harry talked about since Harry told him what exactly he threw in Harry’s face at the hospital. That’s also the reason why he didn’t know if they were on speaking terms or not. Apparently not because Harry’s face fell into an angry frown and he shook his head no.

Louis could very much life without that kid in his life so he just nodded and texted Liam and Zayn when they should be at Harry’s flat.

Now for the present Louis had a lot of ideas but they just weren’t good enough so he had none.

Zayn wasn’t any help either because his suggestion to  _just buy him a vibrating dildo he obviously bottoms_ just led to Louis rolling his eyes and flip him off.

Liam just shrugged his shoulders and really told Louis to  _buy him some Parfum or something I don’t know man _.

So they were no help at all and Louis was shitty when it came to presents. 

While he was on Skype, talking to his sisters about all the things they would be doing (Harry was asleep) he came up with an idea.

*

It was no secret that Louis couldn’t cook but he still tried his hardest and manage to make a decent breakfast that he set on a trey and carefully carried to Harry’s bedroom where the younger boy was still sound asleep. 

Soft breaths escaping his mouth and his curls spread over his pillow.

Louis set the tray on the bedside table and climbed on the bed. He brushed Harry’s hair out of his face and traced the lines of his face.

He poked the younger boys nose before he leaned down and kissed the boy all over his face and lips until he woke up grunting and muffling. 

Louis chuckled and pulled away which made Harry whine and slowly open his eyes. 

“Happy birthday princess.” Louis smiled at him like the actual sun and Harry pulled him down again, awaiting more kisses and who was Louis to say no to that.

He teases him a little just placing feathery light kisses, almost not touching Harry’s face. His hot breath everything Harry could feel the younger boy shined again and squirmed under Louis his lips in pout. 

Louis laughed and gave in, giving his boyfriend all the kisses he wanted. 

“Made you breakfast.” He mumbled against Harry’s lips which made the younger boy stop. 

“Is my kitchen still... y’know....still there?”

“Oi Princess how rude of you to assume that it’s not.” Louis squished Harry’s lips together. 

“Laff time wu tried to cook were waf fire.” Harry tried to talk but it was hard with Louis still squishing his face. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked up to Louis. The older boy laughed and gave him a quick peck, before he let go and leaned over to the tray.

He set it down between them. 

“There was supposed to be fire. That’s what Jamie Oliver said. No hush and let’s eat.”

“I’m sure he said that.” Harry’s gaze went over the tray and then back to Louis. 

“Thank you. Means a lot.” Harry’s eyes were sparkly and his dimples were popping out. Louis really did great work, he made fruit salat and scrambled eggs and he even went out as fast as possible to get croissants. 

They ate with light chatter about everything and nothing, Harry somehow finding his way in Louis lap- because really were else would he sit. Sometimes they would feed each other bits of their food, softly chuckling at something the other has said. 

The sun was slightly shining through Harry’s curtains, turning the room in a golden shade. Making their skins glow. 

When they were done with eating they stayed in bed for a while, kissing, cuddling and whispering to each other. They lived for these moments were it felt like nothing in the world could hurt them. Where it felt as if time stood still. This feeling of safety surrounding them. 

Louis wanted to hold onto these moments as long as possible. Wanted to relive them whenever he could. 

They eventually had to get out of bed, neither of them really wanted but since Zayn and Liam would come over, they needed to prepare a few things before that. 

Louis regretted to invite these two in this moment, wanting nothing more then spend the rest of the day in bed with Harry. 

They quickly put on clothes, Harry choosing one of Louis’ oversized hoodies which were also pretty big on him. Louis smiled at his choice of clothes, loving it when Harry wore his stuff. 

It was already noon. Louis let Harry sleep pretty long and they stayed longer in bed then they thought.

Harry immediately started to make cake while Louis hopped on the counter and watched him. 

When the cake was in the oven Harry gave Louis the bowl where the batter was in and gave the older boy a spoon. 

Louis hummed happily and started to clean the bowl which made Harry laugh.

“It tastes good Curly!”

“Thank you. It’s one of my favourite cakes to bake actually. M-my mom she used... she used to make it at- gosh i don’t know... any special occasion really. It’s always a party favourite. I used to help her make it. It’s pretty easy but still tastes incredible. Like there’s way more into it then it actually is y’know? I know the recipe by heart.” Harry smiled, when he told Louis the story, remembering all the birthdays or other events where he and his mom would make this cake together. It was always the two of them, chatting in the kitchen, laughing and being happy.

He misses that.

Louis watched Harry, taking his hand in his and intertwining them.

“I’m sure the boys gonna love it.” Harry nodded and looked up to Louis trying to blink the tears away that were building in his eyes.

“It’s you’re birthday princess. It’s a happy day, not a day for tears. Wait here, ‘m gonna get your present.” He gave Harry a quick kiss and hopped off the counter, getting the present out of his hiding spot.

He took Harry’s hand and pulled him to the couch were they both sat down and he handed the bag out to the younger boy.

“Happy birthday. Go on, open it.” Harry hesitated a moment before pulling the box out of the bag.

“You didn’t have to get me anything y’know?”

“Shush it curly. Go on.” Harry carefully unwrapped the box and opened it. He gasped when he looked at the ring inside it. It was beautiful, a silver ring with small bears. Harry loved it. 

“Lou, I- I can’t... it’s way too expensive... I-“

“It’s a promise ring Princess,” he carefully pulled Harry in his lap and stuck the ring on.

“You remember what I promised you when we met? I promised to be always there for you and I know you didn’t believe me then but I hope you do now. There’s now way I’m ever gonna let you alone.” He turned the ring around, Harry attentively watching his movements, tears brimming in his eyes. He sniffled, and looked to Louis. 

“I love it so much Lou. Thank you, thank you,  thank you .” Harry attached his lips to Louis, kissing him passionately, a few tears slipping out of his eyes. Louis was fast to catch them and wipe them away with his thumbs, his hands cupping Harry’s face.

“Glad you like it princess.” He smiled up at Harry, their foreheads still connected. Louis closed the small gap again and pulled Harry’s hair just to hear him moan again, which the younger boy did.

*

Zayn and Liam gave Harry a flower bouquet and a gift card which made the younger boy smile and blush. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Well you’re our friend. Of course we had it’s nothing big.” The couple smiled at Harry who blushed more, Louis watching the scene fondly.

“What did Lou get you?” Harry held his hand out, pointing to the ring.

“He proposed?” Liam gasped before Harry could even say anything.

“What? No! He didn’t he-“ Harry looked to Louis, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the whole situation. Louis put his arms around his waist, hugging him to his side.

“It’s not an engagement ring. It’s a promise ring.” Louis smiled softly up to Harry, kissing his temple. Making sure he’s okay.

“A promise for what?” The raven haired man joined the conversation.

“None of your concerns. It’s a promise between me and Harry. No who wants some cake?” Zayn huffed but nodded.

Louis and him used to talk about anything and don’t get him wrong he adored Harry, he really did and he also thought that he was good for Louis but he missed his best friend. Missed getting high and just talk about dumb shit, missed staying up all night with Louis to watch trash tv and eat cold pizza, missed coming home to Louis, his best friend.

He understood that Harry seemed to need Louis, without knowing what his actual situation was. But you don’t have to be a genius to understand that Harry has his problems and Zayn seemed to learn more about them every time he visits the young boy.

He got what Louis meant when he said that Harry deserves the world because he honestly did, he was a genuine lad and Zayn would never do something to pull them apart. Not when Harry needed Louis in ways, he would never understand.

He just missed him, is all.

“Make yourselves comfortable me and Haz are gonna get the cake.” 

Louis walked with Harry into his kitchen, mad that it was openly connected to the living room where Zayn and Liam were making themselves comfortable, quietly discussing something. 

“You’re okay?” Louis turned Harry around so that he couldn’t see the living room, wanting him to focus on him. 

Harry nodded, then shrugged his shoulders and sighed. Louis put his hands in his waist, drawing small circles with his thumb. 

“Talk to me Princess.” He squeezed his side’s lightly, urging Harry to talk to him. 

“‘s just- I don’t... I don’t even know. Just some times things get too much? I- I can’t really explain it. I don’t even understand it myself. Can be anything really.” Louis nodded and brushed with his left hand Harry curls out of his face. His hair getting longer and longer everyday.

“Okay Princess. Is it better now?”

“Uhm... yeah, think so. Thank you.” Harry’s voice getting quieter, his gaze turned to the floor. Louis hummed, his index finger lying under the boys chin, forcing him to look at him.

He closed the already small gap between them and kissed him. It was a soft kiss and Louis pulled away after a short time, not wanting to make out in front of their friends.

“Let’s get the cake Princess. You want some?” He turned around to get the plates out, waiting for Harry’s answer.

“Uhm no.. I can... can I maybe eat a bit of yours?” His question was a quiet whisper but Louis heard and nodded happily.

“Of course you can.” He pulled three plates out and started to cut the pieces, putting them on the plates.

Harry got forks out and they made their way back to the couch, where Zayn and Liams quite discussion came to an abrupt halt.

“Thanks mate.” Zayn took the forks from Harry, while Liam took the plates they both immediately starting to eat. 

Louis set down on the couch, Harry immediately finding his place in his lap, sitting sideways so that he was still facing Zayn and Liam. He leaned back into Louis’ chest his head resting under Louis’ chin.

“I think that’s one of the best cakes I’ve ever eaten Harry!”

“Really?” Liam nodded eagerly which made Harry giggle.

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.” He fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Louis and Zayn falling into a conversation about Doncaster.

“Mate I’m excited for tomorrow. Haven’t seen the girls on so long! And me mum as well.”

“Are you meeting up with the old lads? Like Ed and Cole. You know they’ve never made it out.”

“Yeah probably but nothing crazy. I’m excited to see Ed’s baby girl. Last time I visited they weren’t in Donny. And Cole’s probably still living with his mom.” Zayn laughed at that and shook his head. 

“Can’t believe that he’s still living there. But Ed told me he had a new girl. Someone that just moved there. She seemed to be quite nice from what I’ve heard.” While Zayn talked Louis held his fork to Harry’s mouth, knowing that his boy doesn’t like to eat in from of others especially in silence.

He also didn’t really watch Harry while doing it, focusing on locking eyes with Zayn and nodding and smiling at his story. He knew what things would make Harry uncomfortable while eating and tried to prevent them as much as possibly.

Harry opened his mouth and took the small piece of cake, slowly munching on it, Louis tangling his fingers through his hair

“It’s going to be weird when they want to hook up and Cole is bringing her down to his basement. Like it still looks the same how it looked when we were sixteen and with good luck his mom had put his Star Wars sheets on. I would run when I would see that.” 

“That would be so embarrassing. But it wouldn’t surprise me if it actually happened.”

Harry tapped Louis lightly on the chest which made him look down.

“Can I get more please?” Louis smiled and nodded, holding the plate down to Harry’s height so that he could determine on his own how much wants.

He ate three more forks. Not that Louis counted. He _ didn’t_ . But if he would’ve he would be very proud of Harry. Which he was.

Louis ate the rest of the cake and they decided to order food while watching a movie.

“It’s your birthday, you pick.”

“No, I really don’t care. Just maybe not a horror movie or anything scary.”

“Just put something from marvel on. That’s never a bad choice, is it?” Louis chimed in while putting a blanket over him and Harry. 

They quickly came to an match, deciding to watch Guardians of the galaxy.

They were a third into the movie when the door bell ringed, telling them they food was there. Harry jumped at the sound, not having expected it and let out a small shriek.

The boys laughed and Zayn got up to get the food. 

“Money’s on the counter.” Zayn grabbed the money and went for the door.

“You’re okay Princess?”

“Yeah just wasn’t expecting it.” Louis chuckled and nodded, kissing his curls and intertwining their fingers under the blanket.

“Okay so... Babe I think that’s yours.... that’s Hazza’s, that’s me and..... that’s Lou. Yeah.” Zayn handed each boy their pizzas and planted himself next to Liam again.

They unpaused the movie again and Harry stared at his Pizza, it was big and greasy and he started to feel bad about the other things he ate today.

That hasn’t happen in a long time. This feeling he had right now- sure he sometimes didn’t feel at ease with eating but it hasn’t been this bad like right now in a couple of weeks.

He looked up to Louis who hasn’t started either, who would wait for Harry to take the first bite. The older boy gave him a reassuring smile, nudging him slightly.

He felt Louis’ hand in his curls, still looking up at him like a puppy, eyes big and helpless in a way. 

Louis hummed quietly so that only Harry was able to hear him. 

“Try it princess.” Harry took a piece in his shaking hand, still looking at Louis. 

The blue eyed, tried his hardest to spread calmness and to make Harry feel comfortable. 

He nodded when Harry opened his mouth and took a tiny bite chewing on it way to long before swallowing it. 

“Good Princess, so good. I’m proud.” Harry smiled lightly at him and took another bite, Louis grabbing a piece from his own and ate with Harry. 

It was way slower then usual and when Liam and Zayn were already done they haben even had half of the pizza. But it was okay, they would get there. 

Louis made sure to praise Harry, make him feel good for eating and it kind of worked. Harry’s eyes were trained in Louis the whole time not caring about the movie the slightest. 

Zayn and Liam watched the couple for a while, not really sure what to think about the situation. 

They obviously knew about Harry’s eating disorder. They were in the hospital after all and Louis just told them to never mention it and to act normal while eating. 

So that felt like a intimate moment to watch, Louis and Harry seemed to be in their own world right know where only they exist and neither Zayn or Liam have ever seen something like that. 

It was hard but they both focused their eyes on the movie which was almost ever anyway. 

When the movie was over, Harry and Louis had made it halfway through their Pizzas and Zayn cleared his throat. 

“I think we should go now.” They nodded and hugged them good bye. 

“Have fun in donny. When you’re back you need to tell me everything that happened.”

“I’ll do that. I’m just for five days there though.” Zayn shrugged and then there were out and Louis closed the door behind them.

Louis turned around to Harry, the younger boy smiling at him with dimples.

“You’re happy.” It was a statement but Harry still nodded.

“It was a nice day after all. It was the first birthday I enjoyed in years.” Harry shrugged and leaned into Louis who hugged him.

“Mhm that’s good. But it’s not over yet!”

Harry furrowed his brows at that.

“What do you mean?”

“Well I have another present for you. I’m gonna give it to you a little bit later though.” He pulled Harry back into the living room and sat down Harry between his legs again.

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise, it’s nothing big don’t get to excited. You’ll see later.” Harry pouted at his words, getting impatient. 

“Are you full or do you want to eat more?” Louis eyed the pizza that was quite big. Harry ate enough that it would cover as a whole meal but if he would put it that way he knew the boy wouldn’t take another bite.

Harry did the same as Louis, his mind trying to decipher if Louis aspected him to eat more or not. He felt full but he also knew that there was still room in his tummy for more. 

“I think I want one more piece.” Harry looked at Louis, his eyes asking him if it’s okay and Louis nodded.

“That’s great Princess.” 

Harry needed constant approval from Louis for the most silly things. He understood where that comes from and he also talked with Harry about it but it didn’t change anything.

He wasn’t a fan of this. Harry should make his own decision and not have the need to ask him if he was allowed to do something.

They slowly ate their last piece of Pizza for the day and Louis quickly cleaned everything up. 

“I put the pizza in the fridge so you can eat the rest tomorrow if you want. Now come with me, wanna give you the present.” Louis helped Harry get up from the couch and intertwined their hands.

They made their way to the bedroom, where Louis made Harry sit down.

“Okay close you’re eyes, I’m gonna get it out.” Harry did as he was told, his heartbeat rising because he couldn’t see what Louis was doing. 

“Okay I’m standing in front of you and don’t get scared, I’m gonna put something on you.” Harry let out a breath and nodded. 

He felt how something was set atop of his head and he furrowed his brows in confusion but didn’t say anything.

“Knew it would look fucking beautiful on you. Okay open your eyes.” Harry opened his eyes and needed a second to adjust to the light in the room.

Louis stepped aside, grinning at him, so that he was able to see himself in the mirror that hung there.

On his head was a tiara, in a beautiful rosegold that sparkled in the light.

Louis stepped behind him, kissing his cheeks and hugging him to his chest.

“You’re my princess and a princess deserves a crown.” 

It should be silly but it just wasn’t. Harry felt beautiful and his eyes grew big and his dimples were popping out and he smiled so bright it should hurt. 

He turned around in Louis’ arms, his arms wandering around his neck. 

“I love it so much.” Louis smiled up to him and kissed him. 

What began as aslow kiss, was quickly turned into a heated and passionate one and they stumbled backwards. Louis turned them around as they fell onto the bed, quick to adjust their lips again. 

He pulled Harry’s lips with his teeth, the younger boy letting out a moan at that and their tongues fighting for dominance. 

The tiara on Harry’s head slipped to the side but was still tangled in his curls. 

He looked like a princess with his long hair and Louis loved it. It was a very spontaneous thing to buy the tiara but when he walked past it he stopped and smiled, he just needed to buy it. 

They grinded against each other, both boys hard by know and Louis’ head dipped down to suck on Harry’s neck. 

“ _ Lou _ !” Harry whined and squirmed under him his fingers finding the hem of Louis shirt and tugging at it.

Louis was quick to understand and pulled his shirt off before grabbing Harry’s, looking at him, waiting for approval. 

Harry just nodded and sat up so that his jumper could be easily pulled over his head.

Louis lightly pushed him down again, his mouth tracing Harry’s collar bones and leaving a wet stripe there.

Harry was a panting and moaning mess by now which made Louis smirk.

He pinned the younger boys wrist to the sides of his head and traveled with his mouth over Harry’s body, leaving kisses and love bites. When he came to his left nipple he just hovered over it, his hot breath making it go hard and when he carefully took the nipple in his mouth Harry squirmed even more and a deep whine left his throat.

He kept on teasing the boy, enjoying the mess he had made of Harry. 

“Lou more.  _More please.“_ He let go of Harry’s wrist looking at the heavy panting boy.

“You’re sure Princess.“ 

„Yeah, _yeah_ just  _more_.“ And okay, Louis could do that.

He carefully opened the button on Harry jeans, his eyes trained on his face, while he pulled them down. Harry didn’t react at all, his eyes closed and his chest rising and sinking heavy. 

He pulled his jeans down quickly before he grabbed the waistband of Harry’s boxers leaving kisses on his stomach, trailing them down, down, down his eyes not leaving Harry’s face once. 

„ _ Lou _ !“ He stopped in his movement, holding his breath looking at Harry’s face even though his gaze never left it. When he noticed that everything was fine and the younger boy was just urging him to be faster he smiled and pulled the boxers down. 

Harry’s cock was big and hard, the tip a reddish purple and laying heavy against Harry’s stomach, precum was already leaking out of it. 

Louis made his way up again, kissing Harry deeply his hand wrapping around the younger boys cock. He pressed his thumb on Harry’s slit, spreading the precum around in small circles which made Harry bite back a moan. 

His own cock was basically begging to be let free and it pulsated in his boxers, a wet spot forming on them where his precum dribbled. 

“Gonna blow you princess okay?“ He was used to just take what he wants but with Harry it was different. He needed his okay, needed to make sure that the way Louis was touching was okay. 

The “Yes please,” was all he needed before giving small kitten licks to Harry’s tip, testing the precum.

He took the tip in his mouth while letting some spit drip down Harry’s cock. Louis tested out how far he could go without gagging and started to bop his head up and down, hollowing his cheeks. He used his hand on the part he couldn’t reach and twisted his wrist a little. 

Harry let out a  _LouLouLou_ which made the older boy hum around the cock, laying heavy in his mouth. He palmed his own cock through the boxers he was still wearing.

Harry’s hips jerked up at that, making louis gag, his eyes getting watery. He was quick to put pressure on them to hold them down.

“Fuck me Lou. Want you to fuck me!” Harry pulled Louis hair, the older boy letting go of his cock.

“You’re sure Princess?”

“Yes, fuck yes. Just do it.” Harry’s eyes were half lidded, his forehead sweaty and he was still panting. Louis chest was rising up and down, his heart pumping against his ribs and his cock twitching in excitement.

“Okay, okay, yeah. You’ve got lube?” Louis looked around.

“Bedside table, bottom drawer. There are also condoms.” Louis got up and quickly walked around the bed, pulling the drawer open and picking the lube which was strawberry flavoured. He also grabbed one of the condoms and didn’t even care about closing the drawer.

There were things more important right now.

He threw the condom on the bed, somewhere near Harry’s head and pulled his boxers off as well. 

Harry watched him, followed his movements with his eyes and smiled when Louis climbed on the bed attaching there lips again.

“Ready Princess?“ It was a whisper against his lips and the younger boy nodded letting out a  yes  under his breath.

“Hands and knees, Princess.” Harry quickly obeyed, pushing his arse in the Harry his head resting on his arms. Louis gave him a pillow to rest his head on, wanting the younger boy to feel comfortable. Louis took the scene in in front of him Harry’s hole clenching around nothing and his cock wet from Louis’ spit and his own precum. And guck yeah he could get used to that. 

He grabbed Harry’s ass cheeks, making the younger groan. He pulled them apart and let spit dribble down Harry’s crack. The younger boy squirming and whining underneath him. He started to tease his rim with his tongue holding it open with one hand, the other pumping his own dick.

Harry whimpered at the light touches of Louis tongue, the teasing making him go crazy.

“ _ Louis _ !” He pushed his ass back again and Louis understood, pushing his tongue through the tight ring of muscle feeling Harry’s walls. He slipped his tongue in and out, eating him out. 

Harry was a moaning mess again and started to rock back, fucking himself on Louis’ tongue. He stopped after a good while, not wanting Harry to cum just yet.

Louis searched for the bottle of lube and when he found it he squirmed a good load of it on his fingers. He spread Harry open again andtraced the rim with his thumb, applying pressure to it. Harry was whimpering, moving back onto him. Louis held his left hip tightly and carefully put his index finger into Harry’s hole. He startet to pump in and out and curled it up.

“More please!” 

Louis was quick to obey to that, adding a second finger starting to scissor the younger boy open. The both of them were panting and moaning.

When he felt Harry starting to rock back in him he added a third finger. He moved them around and pumped them in and out each thrust quicker and harder. 

“‘m ready Lou.” Louis kissed Harry’s shoulder blade before ripping the condom packet open with his teeth. He rolled the condom on his cock and spreader lube over it.

He lined himself up with Harry’s hole and slowly pushed his cock in, letting Harry adjust to his cock. Louis grunted when he bottomed out, Harry hissing.

He didn’t move, just traced small circles with his thumb on Harry’s hip, waiting for him. 

„Move.“ Louis started to thrust into Harry.

„Fuck Princess, you’re so tight.“ Louis groaned out, his thrush getting faster and harder. 

Harry wasn’t able to respond, his mind filled with  _LouisLouisLouis_ . His mouth was open, letting moans out with each thrust, his cock throbbing.

Louis pulled out of Harry, the younger boy whining at the sudden feeling of emptiness.

Louis quickly turned him around before thrusting in him again. The different angle making Louis hit Harry’s prostate. 

The tiara was still on his curls, moving with each thrust, his back arching at the pleasure of Louis cold against his prostate. 

“Lou, m’close.” Louis bent down, attaching their lips. It was a sloppy kiss with teeth but they couldn’t care less. 

“Me too princess.” Louis hand wrapped around Harry’s cock again. With a few pumps and a twitch of his wrist.

Harry came with a loud  _Louis,_ his cum all over his tummy and Louis hand, his back arching and his face scrunching in pleasure.

Louis came shortly after that, realising into the condom and collapsing on Harry.

They stayed like that a few moments, both boys panting and coming off their high.

Louis leaned himself up, taking his weigh up from Harry and giving him soft kisses. He pulled out of Harry and tied the condom before throwing it into Harry’s bin.

“So good Princess.” He brushed Harry’s hair out of his face. He smiled up at him, his mind feeling dizzy and his eyes unfocused. 

“Gonna get a wet cloth to clean us up.” Louis pecked Harry’s forehead and got up to the bathroom.

He quickly washed his hand and wet a cloth. When he got back into the bedroom Harry was still laying there how he left him, eyes closed and a satisfied smile on his lips. 

Louis smiled and quickly wiped his tummy off of any cum and put the cloth on the bedside table.

Harry’s eyes were fluttering open, looking at Louis, his gaze still kind of foggy. He made grabby hands at the older boy, who quickly was pulling him into his chest.

Harry hummed happily at the warmness that was spreading from Louis and cuddled further into him. The older boy made sure that they were both covered with the duvet he pulled over them and wrapped his arms around the younger boy.

“Gonna miss you next week.” Harry mumbled against his chest, were his head was, lips brushing Louis’ collar bones. 

“I’ll miss you too Princess. But we’ll text and call and before you know it I’ll be back and get on your nerves.” He rested his chin on the top of Harry’s curls.

“Don’t get on my nerves. Never.” Harry was genuine, way to tired to tease right now, his mind still twirling around Louis and Louis only.

The blue eyed man hummed as a response. 

“I love you Harry.” He squeezed his eyes shut, scared of the reaction he would get out of Harry. The words were burning on his tongue for a while now but he never found himself in the right moment to say them.

He always found himself swallowing the words when they found their way up his tongue and right now wasn’t the perfect moment either but it is what it is.

He wanted to say it before he would go to donny. It’s not even that big of deal. He tells Zayn all the time he loves him. So why should it be different with Harry?

He still got anxious when the younger boy didn’t respond. He probably was asleep and didn’t hear him, which would be kind of awkward for Louis but it’s better then no reaction at all. 

“I love you too.” Harry’s voice was nothing more then a whisper but he still heard him clearly in the darkness of the room.

Louis body untensed, his lungs letting out all the air he apparently was holding and his face breaking into a big smile. 

*

When they said their goodbyes the next day, lots of  _i love you’s_ were mumbled, lots of small kisses shared and quiet words, only meant the be heard by Louis and Harry. 

The first hour felt weird. Both boys so used to the other that it felt like something was missing, which it  was . When Louis sat in the train his mind went back to the night before and he smirked when he remembered how Harry waddled a little bit this morning, bum feeling sore.

Somewhere in his mind he started to worry for the younger boy, not feeling hundred percent at ease with leaving him.

Call it instinct or just over protectiveness but something just didn’t felt right in his lower stomach and he honestly considered going back. 

The thoughts we’re pushed into the back of his head when he hugged his sisters and his mom who all overloaded him with stories.

It was the calmness before the storm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has roughly 7,000 words. 
> 
> And I kinda hate it. But Lou and h love each other so that’s good. 
> 
> Let me know what you think xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall had a nice Christmas and are all safe and happy. 
> 
> Sorry that this chapter is so short and comes so late but I was hadn’t really had time to write cause of Christmas and because I’m knitting Harry’s cardigan so that takes a lot of time.

_ Did you drink enough water? _

_ Yes Lou  _

_ Did you ate enough princess? Y’know just making sure everything’s like it’s supposed to be. _

_ Yes I did you already asked that. _

_ Okay. Okay that’s good. Proud of you, miss you. _

_ Yeah, miss you too. _

Beside Louis talking about all the things he did with his family and Harry rambling about his boring days, Louis couldn’t stop himself to ask these questions everyday. 

Harry wasn’t that bothered with them though because he felt like someone cared. Someone cared about that pathetic life of his and that felt good. 

Today was Friday though. Louis would be back in a few hours and he promised Harry to go straight to his flat because honestly all his stuff was there and Louis room at his flat was taken over by Zayn and his art. 

He didn’t mind since Harry’s flat was way prettier and neater and so soft. Louis loved soft. 

Harry was humming while preparing a meal for him and Louis. The older man had texted him that he’d be home in an hour and- god Harry was so excited. 

When his doorbell rang, Harry furrowed his brows in confusion, not expecting anyone beside Louis and he wouldn’t be here for another hour. 

He put the heat of the stove down, not wanting to burn the food he was preparing and went for the door. 

"Are you Harry Styles?“ He looked at the man in front of him, who was from a delivery concern. 

Harry nodded. 

"These Are for you. Just sign here.“ He held one of these electrical scanners up and Harry quickly signed and took the bouquet that was handed him. 

The delivery guy didn’t say anymore, just nodded once and turned around. Harry closed the door behind him, going back into the kitchen with the flowers. 

They were probably from Louis, which wouldn’t make a lot of sense, since he would be here anytime soon. 

Harry got a vase out of one of the cupboards, lowly humming to himself while he filled it with water. 

He ripped the paper off when a letter fell on the counter. He put the flowers in the vase and grabbed the letter. 

His name was written on it in big cursive lettersand he furrowed his brows again. Harry opened the envelope. 

He blinked once, twice his hands start to shake, his breathing is cut short. The letter falls from his hands slowly making its way down. Harry didn’t hear the letter reaching the ground. 

He was already out of the kitchen, stumbling over his own feet, making his way into the bedroom. 

Tears were finding their way out of his eyes. Everything started to spin. His heartbeat was loud and echoing in his ears. 

It was too much. Too much, too much, too much. 

*

Louis entered Harry’s house, smiling, because he would see his boy in a matter of seconds. 

He happily made his way up the stairs, leading to Harry’s flat. His duffel bag slung around his shoulder. 

He opened the door, his smile fading immediately. He let the duffel bag slide from his shoulder, letting it fall too the ground. 

The flat was a complete mess, which wouldn’t really concern him but considering that Harry is quite the neat freak it was unusual. 

He furrowed his brows at all the things that were laying on the ground or knocked off dressers. 

“Princess? ‘M back. Where are you.” He made his way to the bedroom, where it looked worse, a suitcase open in the bed with clothes of Harry and Louis thrown messily in it. 

Drawers were left open, Harry nowhere in sight. 

“Harry, where are you?” Louis heart was beating fast against his chest. He had a bad feeling. 

He wanted to make his way in to the living room, which already looked as messy as everything else but when he walked past the bathroom he heard the water from the shower. 

He sighed relieved because Harry’s was still here and could explain the whole thing. 

He knocked on the door. 

“Haz, Princess? Are you in there?” He was met with silence and knocked again. He waited a few moments. 

“Okay, I’m gonna come in now, alright?” He opened the door and was hit with an heart breaking sight. 

“Oh god, princess what happened?” Harry was sitting in the shower, clothes on knees tugged to his chest, hugging them tightly. His whole body wet from the water that was raining down on him. His head was hidden in his knees and he was shaking as looking so small. 

Harry showed no reaction to Louis which worried the older boy even more. 

He scurried down and carefully placed his hand on Harry’s arm which made him jerk away and whimper. Louis immediately pulled his hand away. 

“Harry look at me, it’s just me, Louis.” 

Harry was often in his own little world, sometimes it was a good place, where he felt safe and content and sometimes they were bad places, were his mind was pulling him into anxieties and panic attacks and right now he seemed to be very deep in this bad place. 

“Harry, c’mon, it’s me. Princess. Look at me. C’mon. I know you can.” He kept on talking, trying to get Harry to focus on his voice. 

The water from the shower was freezing cold. 

He wrapped his hand around Harry’s arm again and this time the younger boy didn’t jerk away. 

Louis closed his eyes for a short moment before he shuffled closer to Harry, his body tensing at the cold water. 

“Princess, please look at me. Let me help you.” He wrapped his arm around Harry, his hand reaching for the curls, that were now straight and hanging in front of his face. He pushed the back. 

Harry’s skin was cold under his fingers and he wondered for how long the boy was sitting here. 

“‘m here princess,look at me  _ please _ .”

Harry’s head slowly moved up, until his eyes met Louis’, first unfocused and blurry because of the tears that were running down his face. 

His bottom lip trembling. 

“ _Louis_? ” It was a whimpering sound, cut of by a sob. 

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m here, tell me what happened. Let me help you.” Louis nodded and Harry shuffled closer to Louis, hiding his face in his chest. 

Louis sighed but hugged the younger boy close. 

“It’s okay princess, we’re okay, you’re safe now.” Harry shook his head, frantically, until Louis held it still, pressing him closer. 

“Not safe, no, no, no! Not safe. Not here.” 

“Shhhhh. Why don’t we get out of the shower, hmm? ‘a a bit cold, isn’t it? Get you all warm and comfy?” 

“No, need to be clean, ‘m not clean, he’s everywhere Lou. I need to be clean.” 

“He?” 

“He found me Lou, I- I can’t- I need to get away, I-“ 

“Shhh Princess, what’d’ya mean he found you?”

“Samuel my-my... he found me- I’m scared, so scared Lou I-“

Samuel. His abusive ex. Louis tried to stay calm and hush Harry even though his insides were fuming. 

Harry was sobbing in his chest and Louis felt so helpless. 

“He’s everywhere Louis. I can feel him, he needs to get away- I...”

“Oh princess.” Louis kissed the top of his head, staying there a few moments before pulling away. 

Harry’s hands were fast to grip his jumper and hold him close. Letting a whimper escape his throat. 

“We’re gonna get up now and I’m gonna make you a nice, hot bath, Okay. Gonna wash your hair and all. Make you all clean again.” It was probably not the best resolution but Louis didn’t know better in this moment and he just wanted Harry out of the cold. 

Harry nodded and Louis helped him stand up and get out of the shower. His lips were blueish from the cold and his face pale. His body was shaking and he hugged his arms tight around his body. 

He was swaying a bit and louis hold him close, not really trusting Harry’s legs in this moment. 

Louis let the water from the tub run and looked at Harry, who was watching him with big eyes, looking like a lost puppy. He let go of Harry when he noticed that he was staying safely and threw a bath bomb in the tub, which turned the bath pink and bubbly. 

“Okay princess, do you want me to leave?” Harry was biting his lip still looking with his big doe eyes and slowly shook his head no. 

“Stay, please?” His voice was raspy and wobbly. 

“Of course.” He smiled lightly, even though he felt nothing like smiling but he was glad that Harry didn’t want him to leave. 

He closed the tap and turned to Harry. 

“All right Haz. It’s nice and warm c’mon.” Harry nodded but didn’t move. 

Louis sighed and stood up from where he was perched in front of the tub. 

“Need help?” Harry nodded, his eyes locked to the grown. 

Louis wrapped his hands around the bottom of his T-shirt and pulled the wet clothing piece over Harry’s head. It wasn’t as easy as he thought, sticking tight to Harry’s body but he managed and noticed how Harry’s chest was covered in goosebumps. 

He then unbuttoned Harry’s jeans and slipped his knuckles into the waistband. He shimmied the skinny jeans down which was even harder and it should feel sexual but it just wasn’t. 

It was just Louis taking care of Harry in the moment. 

“Boxers too or do you want to do it yourself?” Harry shook his head again. 

“Words please princess, need to make sure you’re okay with everything.”

“You please.” Louis nodded and quickly (as quickly as possible) pulled the boxers down and the took the socks off. 

“Okay, get in.” Louis held Harry’s hand to stabilise him and he climbed into the tub. 

He hummed at the hot water and Louis was kind of jealous because he was still freezing. But Harry came first. He would always come first. 

“Can I wash you?” Louis waited patiently for Harry’s answer and smiled when the younger boy nodded shyly, not meeting the older boys eyes. 

Louis grabbed a washcloth and dipped it in the water before gently running it over Harry’s skin. 

“Uhm... can you please... use one of these?” Harry pointed to the many body scrubs that were scattered around the tub. 

“Sure, what do you want.” Harry looked over them before going with one that smells like cotton candy. He gave it to Louis who opened it and put it on the cloth. 

He started to rub over his skin again, the sweet smell from the body scrub tingling in the air. 

“Wanna maybe tell me what happened?”

Harry’s skin was slowly getting warmer and his lips and cheeks started to turn pink again. 

“I... the doorbell rang and- the delivery guy had flowers. I- I thought they were from you... I don’t know why... I was confused because I knew you would come back in a few hours- I took them and... and opened them and there was this letter and- and I- it’s his writing and- my mind went blank- I was so scared Lou. We need to get away. Please Lou. He’s so dangerous Lou.”

“You’re safe with me. I promise I won’t let him hurt you ever again. I promise that I’ll do anything to keep you safe. He’s not gonna get to you.” 

Louis grabbed a plastic cub from the other end of the tub and let it fill with water.He carefully wet Harry’s hair trying to get nothing in his eyes. 

He took Harry’s hair shampoo, that was strawberry scented and rubbed it gently in. Harry leaned into the touch. 

“What if he hurts you- I can’t. You’re all I have Lou. What if he takes you away from me?” 

“That’s not gonna happen. Never. I love you okay?”

“I love you too.” 

Louis washed the shampoo out and kissed Harry’s forehead. 

“Okay come out princess.” He grabbed the fluffiest towel Harry owned and wrapped it around him when he was standing up. 

He helped him climb out of the tub and gently dried him off. They went into the bedroom, Louis searching for something Harry could wear which wasn’t easy in the mess. 

He found Harry’s favourite leggings and a hoodie from himself asking with some fuzzy socks and underwear. 

He helped Harry get dressed and then started to dry his curls with the towel, massaging his scalp. 

Harry leaned into the touch his eyes started to droop and a yawn escaping his mouth. 

“Tired?” Harry nodded and Louis smiled. 

He quickly threw everything that was on the bed to the floor and tucked Harry in. 

“You wanted to run off?” Harry nodded, only half awake now. 

“With you. Wanted to wait and then go with you.” Louis nodded and leaned down, kissing Harry’s forehead and cheek, then his nose and lastly pecked his lips. 

“Stay with me.” Harry whined and Louis nodded, getting out of his still wet clothes and putting in random things that were laying around. 

He laid next to Harry who curled up to him and rested his head on his chest. He started to rub the younger boys back and when he was asleep he carefully slipped out under him and started to clean the flat. 

When he got into the living room he found the letter on the floor he felt like throwing up at the words that were written on it and maybe he was wrong. Maybe Harry wasn’t safe at all. 

_ Dearest angel, _

_ I hope you like the gift that I have given you. I hope you love it. Do you love it? _

*

He threw the flowers away and cleaned the rest of the flat. He hid the letter for the time being, he needed to discuss what they would do with Harry. 

He slipped back into the bed before Harry woke up, the younger boy cuddling close to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think xx


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year guys
> 
> I thought about making a Twitter account so that I can keep yall updated? Let me know what you think?

“Princess come here for a second.” Louis patted the place next to him on the couch. Harry walked over to him and pulled his knees to his chest. His green eyes looking questioningly to Louis blue eyes. 

The younger boy looked tired and worn out even after the nap he had and Louis took a moment to sort his thoughts. 

“I want to talk about- about the flowers and letter.” Louis cleared his throat and watched Harry’s reaction.

Tears were forming in Harry’s eyes and he looked away from the older boy and shook his head. 

“Don’t want to talk about it Lou.” Louis furrowed his brows. 

“Why’s that? We need to do something about it!”

“No it’s- I don’t want you to worry about that.”

“Harry how can I not worry about something that affected you so much. I want you to be safe. Want you to feel safe.” 

“I’m tired Lou.” Harry looked up again, his cheeks wet from the tears. Louis sighed and wiped them away, placing a small kiss on his boyfriends nose. 

His hands cupped Harry’s cheeks. 

“Don’t want to talk about it. Please Lou.” Big doe eyes staring into his own and Louis knows that it is wrong to let him of the hook so easy but Louis was weak. Especially for big green eyes. 

He kissed Harry’s nose again and nodded. 

“Wanna watch a movie Princess?” He waited a few beats before Harry’s answer came. He shook his head no and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“Can we just...cuddle?” His voice got quieter by the end. Louis chuckled softly, even though there was nothing really funny right now he actually was pretty fucking worried. 

“Sure we can do that. Here or... do you wanna go in the bedroom?”

“Here’s okay.” Louis positioned them so that Harry was laying between his legs, his head resting on his chest. He caressed the curls and let Harry drift of to sleep even though he already took a nap. 

-

Every time Louis tried to coax Harry into talking the younger boy found a way to avoid the topic by distracting Louis or simply getting mad and ignoring him until Louis would apologise and promise him he wouldn’t bring it up again.

It was so  _ wrong _ and  _ unhealthy _ Louis wanted to cry. Like actually. His head was full with worry and he didn’t know what to do. 

He was laying on his back, Harry cuddled against him fast asleep. He was sleeping a lot lately, Louis noticed. He didn’t say anything though. 

He carefully untangled himself from the younger boy and tucked him in again. Harry frowned at the sudden loss of warmth and smell that was Louis but quickly relaxes into the pillows again. 

Louis took his cigarettes and his phone and made his way outside on the small balcony. He lit his cigarette and took a few deep drags. It was comforting to feel the smoke deep in his lungs. 

He blew the smoke out again and watched it dissolve in the crisp air. 

“Lou? Everything alright?” Louis flinched a little bit and turned around. Harry was standing in the doorway, a blanket wrapped around him, his cheeks still red from sleeping. 

And fuck that because he looked so small and cute and Louis just wanted to cuddle him. 

He shook his head. 

“No Hazza, it’s not.” Harry furrowed his eyebrows at that a small pout forming on his lips. 

“What’s going on?” Louis looked at Harry and held his arms open, the younger boy immediately went into the embrace and tugged his head in the crook of his neck. 

“It’s just- I know that you’re scared but I hate it that you don’t want to do anything about the whole thing. I’m honestly scared for you and I don’t like this. I want you to be happy don’t you understand?”

“Lou I- I know but even if we would go to the police or anything like that, they won’t be able to help us.”

“Why not? They have to, it’s their fucking job.”

Harry let go of Louis and let a small sad smile appear on his lips. 

“I’ve actually informed myself on it and it’s a rare occasion that- that the people who get reported also get charged and we don’t have any proof for anything really. It’s my word against his. It would probably just make him more furious and besides I don’t think I’m ready to see him. I’ll never be.” Louis looked at Harry, confused about how collected he is about this. 

“We can still try.”

Harry shook his head. 

“It wouldn’t help and it’s okay as long as I’ve got you. Feel safe with you.”

-

It was later that week. Harry and Louis were cuddling in the couch, watching friends when the doorbell rang. 

“I’ll get it.” Louis gave Harry a quick peck on his forehead and untangled himself from his boyfriend. 

He scurried to the door and opened it just to find the hallway empty. He stepped a little bit more out to get a better look when he felt his left food kicking something.

He looked down, where there was a small package. 

He stiffened, his whole body getting tense. He took the package and closed the door, making sure to lock it. 

The package was wrapped in newspaper and had an envelope sticking too it where Harry’s name was neatly written on it. 

He made his way back to Harry, who was now in a sitting position his brows furrowed. 

“What’s that?” 

“I don’t know. Just laid on the floor in front of the door. It has your name written on it.”

Harry’s eyes got big with fear in them. 

“Is it from...?”

“I guess so. I just- I don’t know what to do princess.”

Louis sat next to Harry the package feeling heavy in his hands. 

“I’m sorry, Lou. So so sorry.” Harry’s voice was shaky and Louis could tell, without having to look at him that he was close to crying. 

“Shh. It’s not your fault Okay? We’re gonna find a way that this ends alright?” He pulled the curly boy to his chest, his chin resting On top of Harrys head. 

They stayed like that for a while until they decided to open the package. 

“Do you want to do it or...?“ Louis didn’t finish the sentence and looked at Harry, whose eyes were trained on the package. 

“No I- I don’t, can you?” 

“Sure.” 

Louis took the package, and unwrapped the paper. A letter fell in his lap which the younger boy took in his hands. 

“It’s his handwriting.” The older boy looked at the envelope, Harry’s name was neatly and in cursive written on it. He unwrapped the rest and furrowed his brows at the Blue jewellery box. When he opened it a necklace was in it. 

“It’s mine. He gave it to me at our one year anniversary. We were at a restaurant, it- it was a nice day. I always wore it until the day I left.” It was a thin chain with a single Pearl on it. It looked expensive and probably beautiful on Harry. 

_ My dearest Angel,  _

_ Do you remember when I gave you this? It made me proud to see you wearing the necklace. You looked beautiful in it and I’d love to see it on you again, my dearest. I miss you. Soon my love we’ll be reunited. Just wait a little bit more.  _

Louis threw up. 

-

_ My dearest Angel, _

_ I saw you today. You looked beautiful. You were out with that ugly guy. I know I can make you happier. Soon my love, soon.  _

Harry doesn’t leave his flat anymore. 

-

_ My dearest Angel,  _

_ I always think back to the time we’ve had. We were so happy. We were so in love. I still don’t understand why you left. That’s why I came back. I’m here to safe you. You haven’t left that flat of yours in a few days but don’t worry I’ll always keep an eye on you.  _

There were photos. Of Harry and Louis in Harry’s flat. 

Harry had a panic attack. Louis called the police. 

-

“We’re gonna stay at mine and Zayn’s flat for a while. My rooms still there and for now you’ll be safe there. There’s always someone there too so you don’t have to be alone.” They packed only the most necessary things and went to Louis flat. 

It wasn’t as soft and cuddly and beautiful at Harry’s. Not at all but it’ll do for the moment. 

They eventually explained everything to Zayn and Liam and both boys were loving and understanding. Harry cried, Louis might’ve too. 

When they entered the flat Zayn and Liam hugged them. It was tense and awkward and Harry felt guilty. No one really knew how to deal with the whole thing and they were all scared and worried. 

_-_

_“Why didn’t you come earlier? These are serious and from what I’ve heard Mr. Styles, he was abusive towards you. We could’ve acted way earlier then now.” Harry looked down, not really knowing what to say to that. Louis squeezed his hand reassuringly._

_“Being a victim of domestic violence is a struggle that many people go through and they often aren’t heard when they decide to report it. Mr. Styles did the right thing by coming here and he has proven how strong he his by coming here. You can be very proud of yourself.” She was some kind of lawyer of psychologist- Harry really didn’t know but her smile was warm and for a second he actually felt proud of himself._

_The police officer cleared his throat and nodded._

_“It’s good that you’re here now. I’ll make sure that this will be our priority. For mir I need to know if you have somewhere you can go to? It’s not safe in your flat anymore.”_

_“We can go to my flat for now I live with a friend of mine.” Louis piled in and looked at Harry. The younger boy just nodded and looked down again. He looked broken._

_“Okay that’s fine. Well just need the address and that’s it from my part.” The officer shook both their hands and left the small room they were currently in._

_“Harry- is it okay if I call you that?” Harry’s eyes wandered to the ones from the women. He nodded- and god Louis would do anything to hear him laugh right now._

_“Okay Harry, the best thing you can do right now is go to a psychologist who’ll make an assessment. It’ll help a lot when it comes to a statement in court. Here’s the number of a friend of mine, she’s one of the best psychologist in London. I’m gonna give her a call tomorrow and tell her about everything so you can make an appointment with her. I know it’s scary at first but it’s just another step into being free. You’re brave and smart Harry use that.” She smiled once more and left the room_.  
  


-

Louis was currently leaning against his car, cigarette between his lips. It’s his third? His fourth? He can’t remember. He was waiting for Harry. The younger boy was currently at his first appointment by the psychologist. 

Louis was nervous, his hands shaking and he was anxiously looking at his phone clock. 

After the hour was over Harry stepped out of the building, shoulders hanging low and face red from the tears. 

He didn’t say anything to Louis just walked to the passenger side and rested his head on the window. Louis flipped his cigarette to the ground and made his way into the car, silently starting it and driving them home. 

When he wanted to put his hand on his boyfriends thigh, the younger boy flinched away and pressed himself as far away from Louis as the car allowed. 

The older boy put his hand on the steering wheel again and didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride. It wouldn’t bring anything. 

He parked the car and got out and before he could even make an attempt to open Harry’s door the green eyed lad was already out walking past Louis. 

He got his keys out and opened the door for them, holding it open for Harry whose eyes were trained to the floor. They made their way up and Louis stopped before unlocking this door. 

“Princess I-“

“I can’t Lou, not right now.” Harry interrupted him, his voice quiet and raspy. 

Louis sighed and opened the door. Harry was in his room before he had closed the door to the flat. 

Louis made his way into the living room where Liam and Zayn were cuddled next to each other, playing something on their PlayStation. 

“Where’s Harry mate?” He flopped himself down on the couch and sighed, his arm resting above his eyes. 

“In my room. I thought that this stupid psychologist was there to help him, not make him ignore me.”

“Harry loves he’s probably a little bit overwhelmed right now.” Liam, being the teddy bear that he is gave Louis a reassuringly smile. 

“He flinched. I touched him and he flinched away. He hasn’t done that in month. I don’t- I know that he’s hurting right now and I hate that he won’t let me help him.”

“Maybe he needs to go through this himself.It’s his fight Louis not yours. Just make sure to be there from him when he needs it. He’ll come to you when he’s ready. Li’s right. It was probably overwhelming and he doesn’t know how to sort his thoughts right now. Give him time, he’ll figure it out and when the time comes you’ll be there. Don’t pressure him that will drive you two apart.” Louis looked up to Zayn who had his arms now around Liams waist. Louis was a tiny little bit jealous but he knew that Zayn was right. He just wasn’t one of the patient kind. 

Harry didn’t came to eat dinner and when Louis decided to go to sleep the door was locked. He slept on the couch that night. 

-

So that was life now. Louis would drive Harry to therapy and would wait for him and when he was done he wouldn’t talk. Sometimes he was crying, sometimes he seemed to be really angry and on rare occasions he seemed a little more relaxed. 

He had three sessions a week. Louis made sure he would get there on point and Louis made also sure that Harry would eat three meals a day. 

The police kept them update which really didn’t bring a lot when the only update was  _ were still working on it . _

It was exhausting and Louis felt like he was being ripped apart. 

He missed Harry. They were like strangers and Louis honestly didn’t see them getting back to normal. Harry was so distant and Louis tried. He really tried to give the younger boy as much space as he needed but it was so hard for Louis. 

Zayn and Liam tried to keep Louis from going insane. Always trying to show him Harry’s narrative. 

It were only two weeks but those two weeks felt like two years and Louis is sure he looks older then before. 

Louis was waiting inside the car because it was raining. His window was pulled down and he was smoking. He was smoking a lot these days. He tried to cut them because he knew Harry didn’t like them but honestly they were all Louis had right now. If it weren’t for cigarettes Louis‘ sure he would go for alcohol. 

Shortly after his last drag Harry came out of the building. 

“You smoked,” was the first thing Harry said when he entered the car and probably also the first thing he said to him today. 

“Oh uhm.... yeah would’ve done it outside but the weathers quite shit today.” 

He fiddled nervously with the keys in is hands, his leg bopping up and down. 

“It’s okay, just noticed that you’ve done it a lot in the past week.” 

“I’ll try to cut them, it’s just... they really help me to stay calm. To relax, I guess.”

Harry hummed and Louis was asking himself when it did become so awkward between them. He started the car and made sure to put the heater on before starting to drive. 

“My- uhm... My therapist?” Louis furrowed his brows on confusion and looked at Harry shortly before concentrating on the road again. 

“What about your therapist princess?” His voice was soft and warm. 

“She... she wants to k-kinda talk to you? Next time... she said if- if it were o-okay with you then- then she would like to talk with you.” The older man brought his lip into a line, Harry wasn’t this nervous around him for a long time. 

“Well, would it be okay with you?”

“Uhm... I guess? I don’t see why not.” Harry shrugged. 

“Okay then we’ll do that.” Louis smiled at Harry and the younger boy nodded. 

“Does she help then?” Louis dared to take this step, not sure if he’s going to regret but just this short talk with Harry made him happier and he didn’t want it to stop. 

“I- I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“That’s fine princess whatever you’re comfortable with.” It wasn’t fine. But Louis needed to be strong for Harry right? Right. 

-

“Thank you Harry, we’ll see each other on Friday. Mr Tomlinson?” Louis stood up from where he was sitting in one of the chairs. He put his phone back into his back pocket and made his way over to the therapist. 

“Do you want to wait here or in the car?” He looked at Harry who was looking overwhelmed and Louis really wanted to hug him and kiss it all away but they weren’t really on a kissing base right now. Hell they weren’t even really on a talking base. 

“Here?”

“Whatever you want.” Louis smiled and turned around to finally greet Harry’s therapist. They both made their way in and while she was sitting down into an office share Louis looked kind of lost between all the sitting options. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot. You can sit wherever you want. Different patients prefer different types of seating options when talking about- about anything really. Make yourself comfortable.” She gave him a bright smile and Louis decided to go for one of the armchairs, finding it still warm which made him guess that Harry was sitting there. 

“Harry talks a lot about you, you know?” Louis shook his head no. 

“Can’t imagine that to be honest.” 

“Why is that?” Louis wanted to roll his eyes because he really didn’t need a therapist. He didn’t roll his eyes though but sighed. 

“You know I really thought this whole,” he held his hands in the air and made a circular movement with them, “thing would help him but all it has done is make him shut me out.”

“Ah, I See. Well Harry told me about that as well. He told me anything about you Mr Tomlinson and I assure you that he loves you a lot and from what I can tell you do too, am I right?”

“I love him more then anything.”

“And you know about his past?”

“I mean, I know the story but I don’t think he told me the whole thing. He doesn’t need to though.”

“Part of why he’s here is to talk with me about his past and we’re really getting further. But here he’s being confronted with things, that he swore himself to never think about again and while one hour may seem a lot, it’s still not enough. So when he leaves my office his feelings are sometimes so out of order that he needs time to set them right again. He needs to deal with them and that’s something no one can help him by. That’s what makes him shut you out because while he can tell you apart from those feelings and knows that you mean no harm the love he feels for you is something he never experienced before and they overwhelm him just as much as his old feelings.”

“So when they collide it gets easily too much. He doesn’t notice in the beginning but then he does and he feels guilt. It’s hard for him right now and I know that it is hard for you as well but Harry needs you to be strong right now. He works hard. He wants to get better and he also realises that he can’t depend on you as much anymore.”

“I don’t mind that.”

“I know you don’t but it can tear you apart as well. You don’t want to let him down but you can’t be strong for the both of you. You both need to learn to support each other more instead of being dependent on each other.” 

“Right now you are Harry’s safe place his anchor if you will so and I know it’s a lot to ask for but he needs you right now. You need to be there when he shuts you out, you need to be there when he says he doesn’t want you and you need to be there when he says he needs you. It’s like testing his waters, testing how far he can go until you leave him because that’s what he’s going to expect.”

They talked a while and Louis had to admit that it actually helped him to see Harry from a new point of view. 

-

“Lou?” Louis hummed and looked at Harry, who was sitting in the passenger seat. 

“I- I miss you.” His voice was quiet and shy. 

“I’m right here princess.” 

“I know b-but I don’t like sleeping without you, I - I have nightmares again. Don’t like it, miss you.”

“I miss you too.” He carefully searched for Harry’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. His body relaxing when he felt Harry squeezing back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that you had to wait so long for a new update and all you get is this shit I know. I hate it and I honestly have no idea what this is but here ya go. 
> 
> Home schooling really fucks me up right now and I’m so done. But hey it’s my last semester and then I graduated high school. 
> 
> Okay, another thing that I’d like to talk about: I think it’s safe to say that H and O are a stunt. And I hope that the conspiracies are right and H is going to leave his label. 
> 
> And for the mask. I think it’s very weird that H goes from wearing Masks and gloves to wearing a bandana. It’s weird and doesn’t make sense, now I don’t want to say that I support that he did it or anything like that because he’s still a grown man (even though we all love to baby him ik) but what I’m saying is that there a probably reasons and we don’t know them. 
> 
> We probably don’t know half of the shit that’s going on right now so let’s just hope that Harry’s fine and that he protects himself.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter guys now there’s only the epilogue left.

Louis tried his hardest to get them both back into a routine but it was not as easy as he thought because both his and Harry’s thought were more focused on Harry’s ex boyfriend. 

All they could do- and did- was sit around and wait until he got caught. Neither him or Harry felt like leaving the flat a lot and both boys talked to their university’s to take this Semester off. 

The days were spent with cuddling and comforting. Soft words whispered into each other’s skin. Promises of a future where everything was normal. 

Unlike Harry, Louis was a very outgoing person in, every way, kind of. Even in the literal way so he really craves going outside. Just taking a walk would be enough right now but Harry refused to leave the flat unless it was for therapy and he would throw a fit if Louis was anywhere near the door. 

He even made him stay in the waiting room  when he was having therapy so not even then was he outside. 

He knew Harry was clingy, loved the clingy side of his boyfriend but thing got out of hand. He talked about it to Harry’s therapist. She said it was just a phase, that he was scared he would loose Louis and that he wouldn’t need to worry too much about it right now. 

That was a week ago. 

He loved Harry. More then anything did he love his boy but god would he do anything to have five minutes to himself. Just to have a quick smoke. 

The only times he was alone where in the shower but there he was focused on washing himself and making sure he wouldn’t take too long because that would make Harry freak out. 

It happened once. He didn’t want it to happen twice. 

It was hard. They would get over this. 

He tried to stay awake until Harry would be asleep so he could leave their room, breathe some air. Harry would either have a nightmare or simply wake up and find Louis and. Cling to him.

It was fine. They would get over this. 

-

One week.

Two weeks.

Three weeks. 

Three weeks and they finally got the information that they caught him. They day was spent with tears, happy tears and kisses full of love and so much love. The sex that night was pretty damn good as well.

They knew it wasn’t over yet. Nothing was decided yet. After all, Harry’s report could still be rejected but they didn’t want to think like that.

There was a soft glimmer of _hope_ in Harry’s eyes again. A sparkle that hasn’t been there before and Louis wanted it to never go away. Never should Harry loose his sparkle again. He’d make sure of that.

As for now Sam was held in custody until the court day would come. Four weeks. 

Week one was full of Harry starting to get less clingy and more independent. 

Week two was full of happiness, happiness, happiness. 

Week three was full of love and promises and sweet words.

Week four was filled with angst and a panic attack. With nightmares and tears.

Louis missed week two and three.

-

Today was the day. Louis and Harry where dressed in a suit. It was hard to get Harry to do anything this morning and Louis found himself dressing Harry.

“Princess I need you here alright? I know it’s scary and you feel safer in your head but I need you to be with me for this. You need to be strong Okay? And tonight we can cuddle and you can go wherever you want with that pretty head of yours yeah?”

“Feels fuzzy.” The younger boy mumbled. 

“I know princess. But you can do it okay? I’m gonna bring you some water stay here.” 

Harry tended to shut everything out when he felt scared or was overwhelmed. He told Louis that he got all fuzzy and then wouldn’t be aware of his surroundings anymore. It only happened when he knew Louis was around though. Always making sure he was safe. 

Louis quickly filled a glass with cold water and went back to Harry who was still sitting in the same position. 

“Hey Princess. C’mon, can you drink this for me please?” He held the glass to Harry’s lips and smiled when the younger boy started to take small sips from it. 

“That’s right, so good. Thank you so much.” He played with Harry’s curls and let the boy take his time. 

“You’re with me now?”

“Still a bit fuzzy but it’s getting better.” 

“Okay. Doing so good.” He gave his boyfriend a kiss on his forehead, then on the tip of his nose and lastly to his lips. 

“We need to go now.” He pulled Harry up from the bed and intertwined their hands. Liam and Zayn were already waiting for them in the small hallway. 

“What are you two doing here?” Harry furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“We’re here to support you H. You don’t have to go through this alone. You have us. We’re not leaving your side. We figured that- no matter how stupid this sounds- we’re stronger together.” Zayn smiled at him and Harry felt like crying because he didn’t know if he would be strong enough today but he would try if not for himself then for these boys. 

Louis felt like crying because he loved Zayn and he loved Harry and he even loved Liam and this all would be over soon. 

And Zayn and Liam felt like crying because no one deserves to go through so much shit as Harry and they would never thought that Louis could be so much in love with one person. 

It was all a bit overwhelming today. 

It took so fucking _long_ Louis wanted to kill himself. But fuck was he proud of Harry that his boy was facing his abusive ex boyfriend without showing any emotion. 

And fuck was he proud that Harry told everything to the Court without stuttering or crying. 

It was horrible to listen too, complete torture for Louis to have to listen to the things his sweet baby had to go through. He wanted to punch the guy that did this to him to death. 

He saw some of the people in the jury crying at Harry’s words and even the judge seemed to be on the edge of her tears.

You also didn’t have to study law to know that Sams lawyer was complete shit and did nothing in favour for his client.

Harry’s lawyer on the other hand was a complete Angel and seemed to always ask the right questions in the right moments.

The other lawyer found himself more then once in the corner. Out of counter arguments. 

*

They won. Harry won. Louis won. _HarryandLouis_ won.

They drank champagne and Liam got cake and.  _They won_. 

Louis looked at Harry and it was like a whole new person was standing in front of him. He knew that Harry still needed time. That he wouldn’t just be healed but god was that a big step into recovery today.

Liam and Zayn where long gone to bed when Louis and Harry’s kisses turned from sweet and innocent to hot and sloppy. 

Louis quickly pulled them into his room and shoved Harry’s clothes off his body, his quickly following after. 

Harry’s mind was screaming _LouisLouisLouis_ and Louis’ mind was full with _HarryHarryHarry_. 

Fuck did they love each other.

“I love you so much Princess. So much. I’m so fucking proud of.” Harry whimpered at Louis words and attached their lips again. They were hungry and with so much force it hurt both their lips. But they both just wanted more. 

More. 

More. 

_More_. 

Louis grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed some of it on his fingers. 

He took his time opening Harry up. Teasing his rim and doing slow movements, listening to every whimper and moan Harry gave him and he wanted to bottle them up, wanted to memorise them Forever. 

When Harry started to squirm and squirm under him he added another finger. Slowly scissoring the younger boy whose face was scrunched up in pleasure, mouth slightly open letting out those pretty moans that Louis just couldn’t get enough off. 

“My princess, so good for me.” Harry whimpered again and tried to rock back on Louis two finger who were still scissoring him. The older boy pulled his fingers out and teasedHarry’s hole again. 

“Lou, _please_!” Harry whimpered not happy with the sudden loss. The older boy smirked and leaned down licking a fat strip on Harry’s cock which made him thrust up. 

Louis leaned up again and pulled his hand completely away. 

“ _Louis_!” Harry screeched and whimpered. 

“Can you be good and hold still for me princess?” Harry nodded eagerly. 

“Yeah.. yeah Lou ‘m good.” Louis smiled and gave him a quick kiss that Harry sloppily deepened. He pulled away again and gave Harry’s cock a few strokes. 

He pushed his two fingers inside of Harry again and scissored them and thrusted in and out of Harry. After a few moments of fucking Harry with his fingers he leaned down and started to have the tip of Harry’s cock a few kitten licks before sucking the tip in for a short moment. His fingers still thrusting in and out of Harry’s hole or rubbings his walls. Harry’s moans were obscene and loud and he was sure that Liam and Zayn could hear them by now. 

“Shh princess gotta be quiet or else Liam and Zayn are going to hear those pretty moans of yours and we don’t want that do we? They’re just for me right?” 

“Yeah, yeah jus’ for you.” Harry replied and Louis could tell that he started to get fuzzy again. 

“Look at me... yeah that’s right, there are those pretty eyes. Are you with me love?” Harry nodded, his gaze was blurry but he still found the blue of Louis eyes and smiled contently. 

Louis smiled back and added another finger into Harry. He kept on opening him and started to suck his cock again. Harry started to moan, trying to bite his lip to quiet them but his mouth was falling open as soon as his tip touched the back of Louis throat. He let his hip buckle up which made Louis gag. He let go of Harry’s cock again and squeezed his hip, pressing it into the bed. 

“Nuh-uh princess, be good. I said don’t move.” Harry whimpered again and tried to fuck himself onto Louis fingers that weren’t moving right now. The older man held his hip down harder and stopped Harry’s movement with that. 

“Bad Princess, gonna fuck you know and you’re not going to cum until I tell you, understood?”

Harry nodded and Louis pulled his hands out. 

“Answer me Harry.” 

“Yes, I understand.” 

“Good Boy.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hips and turned him around, the younger boy letting himself be manhandled. 

“Hands and knees c’mon.” Louis squeezed Harry’s Love handles impatiently and Harry quickly moved into the position Louis wanted. 

The older boy quickly lubed his own throbbing cock up and positioned himself on Harry’s hole, letting just the tip of it behind the rim. 

Harry whimpered and tried to move backwards onto Louis but the older boy had him in a tight grip on his waist. 

He slowly pushed his cock in until he bottomed out and waited a few moments to let Harry adjust. 

When he felt that Harry was ready he started to pull out just as slow as he pushed in. It was torturing for him and for Harry, who was a whimpering mess underneath him, not even trying to be quiet anymore. 

“Lou! Fuck Lou. Fuck me! Just fuck me hard please!” Harry sounded like he was crying and Louis leaned forwards, kissed his shoulder blades and his neck and somehow managed to kiss Harry on his lips. 

His hands caressed Harry’s curls a few moments until he grabbed it and started to fuck Harry hard. 

Harry hissed at the sudden grip in his hair. Louis’ thrust were fast and hard and Harry was a mess, tears were streaming down his face and his arms gave up under his weigh. At this point all he could do was take what Louis was giving him.

His moans were a mix between sobs and whimpers and it was all so much. Too much. But it was so good and Harry wanted _more more more._

Louis angled himself slightly different and was now full on thrusting against Harry’s prostate. 

“‘M close, ‘m close.” Harry whined underneath him which made Louis halt completely in his movements. 

“Wha- no!” Harry tried to look up at Louis bit everything was blurry and he felt so good, so fuzzy so heavenly. 

“You are not to cum until I tell you.” Harry whined at Louis words but nodded nonetheless. He could be good for Louis. Needed to be good for Louis. 

Louis started to thrust into him again, hitting his prostate over and over again and Harry was so close. So fucking close and every time he though he would cum Louis would purposely miss his prostate and he was honestly so frustrated right now. 

Precum was leaking out of him, dabbling down on their sheets. His cock was hurting and screaming for release. 

His hand wandered down to give his cock a few tucks, to give it the release it wanted but before he could do anything Louis had his wrist snapped against his back. 

“You’re naughty princess. Now you’re allowed to cum but untouched.” Harry tried to release his hand from Louis grip but the older boy was surprisingly strong but Harry was also so out of it and it felt so good. 

Louis started his movements again, deep and slow hitting just the right spots and it didn’t take long for Harry to scream in pleasure when he came all over their sheets. His back arching and his legs were giving out under him if it weren’t for Louis holding him up. 

His legs were shaking- his whole body was shaking and he came in thick white spurts, his hole clenching around Louis who fucked him through his orgasm and came with Harry’s hole clenching around him. 

He let go of Harry’s wrist and wanted to pull out but was stopped by Harry. 

“No, don’t. Need to feel you, need to be close.” 

“Okay princess.” He carefully adjusted them to him spooning Harry.

“So good for me. Love you so much Princess.” He took Harry’s left wrist in his hand and kissed it and rubbed it gently. 

“Love you too Lou.” Harry mumbled and Louis knew that he was only halfway there. He wiped the tears from Harry’s face and smiled. 

“Gonna have to tie you up and gag you next time so you don’t even have a chance to be loud or squirm around.” Louis teased him gently and squeezed his side. 

What he didn’t expect was the whispered “ _yes please_ ” and if he wouldn’t have already come mere seconds ago he would’ve come again at that.

He could do that.

He pulled out of Harry after a few more minutes. His cock was sensitive and the position wasn’t the most comfortable one. Harry whined at the sudden emptiness. Hating it more then anything else.

“Shh I’m just gonna clean us up alright. Be right back.” He scurried to the bathroom and wet a cloth, quickly cleaning himself up before he went back to his boyfriend who was now completely away.

He carefully cleaned him up, being extra gentle around his cock because of sensitivity. He later the cloth down on the bedside table and took the comforter of the bed, throwing it on the floor. He then took the blanket and tucked himself and Harry in, cuddling close to his boy.

“Hey Princess.” He gave gentle kisses all over Harry’s face and hands and whispered softly to him.

“So good for me. Love you so much. Always so pretty.” It went like that for a while until Harry started to look up at him again, gaze clearer and Louis smiled. 

“Hi my Princess.”

“Hey.” The green eyed boy answered softly and pressed himself closer to Louis.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. So much.” Louis smiled and kissed the curly hair.

They soon fell asleep after that.

The next morning Zayn fist bumped Louis and pinched Harry’s cheek. Louis smiled proudly and Harry was glowing red from embarrassment and hid his face in the crook of Louis neck which made the older boy chuckle. 

“Nothing to be embarrassed of princess. Besides I told you to keep it quiet and you didn’t listen.” He squeezed Harry’s arse cheek which made the younger boy wince. He was quite sore after all.

Zayn couldn’t contain his laughter when they sat down and Harry squirmed around, face scrunched up with hurt until he found a somewhat comfortable position.

Liam could barely hold his eyes open and Harry apologised. More then once. 

Zayn couldn’t stop laughing for the rest of the morning and they just silently agreed that Zayn should never be sleep deprived again. 

It made him really weird. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think xx


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys here is the epilogue. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who’s reading this. It’s like my first fanfic in englisch ( and Gay lol) but I had fun and I already have so much more ideas! So don’t forget about me and check my account sometimes.

Both boys agreed that they wanted to move together and both boys also agreed that they wanted something new, a fresh start. 

They startet to look for flats all around London and it took them a few weeks until they found one that met their requirements.

It had two bedrooms, a living room a small but cute kitchen and a tub that could be used as a shower. The flat was smaller then Harry’s old one and the rent was more expensive but they would find a way to make it work.

They needed this.

The flat was pretty close to Zayns and now also Liams and very much in the center of London. It was perfect, it was theirs.

They didn’t realise how exhausting moving could be and they found themselves in small arguments over the most unimportant stuff and sometimes both boys were so confused and overwhelmed and everything was just too much and they cried and held each other and assured each other that they loved the other one.

They selled most of Louis furniture and kept just personal belongings. They kept more stuff from Harry, his bed for example and most of his furniture like the cupboards and dresser and all of his fairy lights because Louis can’t imagine a life without them.

It took some time until they were completely satisfied with their flat but it was perfect and it made so much sense and it was just so much them it was weird.

-

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

“Lou all I’m asking is that you would once, just once clean up your mess. Everything’s laying around and Li and Zayn are coming over tomorrow and you just let everything lay around.” Harry was mad. He didn’t scream. Never screamed but Louis could tell that the younger boy was fed up with cleaning after Louis.

“I’m sorry princess. It was just an exhausting week. I’ll try and do better.” He grabbed Harry by his waist and hugged him close, the younger boy relaxing into his touch and Louis could feel some tears wetting his shirt.

“I’m sorry Lou.” He immediately hushed him and swayed them around. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

“Stop it Lou! I have to get ready this is important!” Harry laughed and tried to geht out of Louis’ hold. The older boy pouted and grabbed Harry’s chin kissing him deeply and with so much love it hurt before he let go and watched him get ready. 

-

“Louis?” Harry looked up from where he was laying on Louis chest. His hands fiddling with the collar of the shirt. 

Louis hummed and waited for Harry to say what he wanted to say. He knew that there was something burning in Harry’s tongue for quite a while now but he never pressured the boy into talking, always waited for him to open up on his own. 

He stayed calm and didn’t stop the playing with Harry’s long curls. 

“I want my mom back. I miss her. I thought I could call her? Or- or text her maybe. I don’t know but I miss her so much and I want her to know you. She would love you, y’know? Want her to see how good you treat me. How much I love you.” 

“Then call her princess. I’m so proud of you.” His kissed Harry’s forehead and lingered there for a moment.

-

“Mom, this is Louis, my- my boyfriend.” Louis smiled the best smile he could and found himself in a hug. 

“It’s nice to meet you. Hazza has told me a lot about you.” 

-

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

“I do.” 

“I do.”

-

“Hi baby, this is your daddy and this is your papa.” 

“I love you.”

“I love you.” 

-

_Forever is a long time but it’s still too short if you have found the one you want to spend it with._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope yall liked this as an epilogue xx


End file.
